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Thread: ketchup sucks cock (fuck ketchup)



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  1. #1


    ketchup sucks cock (fuck ketchup)

    seriously, fucking horrible with almost everything. how the fuck do you people eat this shit? it's disgusting.

    please attempt to justify to me why ketchup is good.

  2. #2
    catchin' some gnarly pounders comeau's Avatar
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    Do you eat Heinz ketchup? If your answer is no, then there is your issue. Heinz ketchup or bust.


  3. #3
    I'm a real user of women hutz's Avatar
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    is your ketchup not kept in the fridge?
    if so, there's your other problem


  4. #4
    Feeling better, Rigby? Sunny_Skies's Avatar
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    I actually prefer mustard, vinegar, or nothing at all, but when I do eat it, I guess I like that it adds more flavor. I also agree with the other two posters, eating Heinz ketchup and not putting in the refrigerator is the best way to go.

  5. #5
    pineapple shoes Dark Homer's Avatar
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    The tomato is a critical element of the history of culinary civilization, and ketchup is the most nearly perfect of all the tomato’s manifestations, thus it is the only true culinary expression of the melting pot. Heinz's Tomato Ketchup is specifically calibrated to hit all of the fundamental tastes in the human palate's sensory spectrum - salty, sweet, sour, bitter, and umami - all at once, and is the only condiment to do so. Trained testers at the sensory-analysis center at Kansas State University have judged the individual elements of said ketchup to be well blended and more sensorially complete than other brands.


  6. #6
    Professional Burger Stealer Krusty Burglar's Avatar
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    I like ketchup only on burgers. Hate it everywhere else.

  7. #7
    might do something not nice Jims's Avatar
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    What? No way. Ketchup completely redeems the tomato, which is The Most Overrated Fruit of All Time.

    Also, mustard sucks way more.

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  9. #8
    impeach churchill Handsome B. Wonderful's Avatar
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    ketchup is amazing. its ever-so-slight salty-tomato-y taste lends itself to tasting great with almost anything. but not hot dogs. only mustard with hot dogs. burgers, fries, etc. are for ketchup.
    I also wanted to try hacking into Handsome B. Wonderful's hard drive, but all I found was Lyndon Johnson porn.


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  10. #9
    the master Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jims View Post
    What? No way. Ketchup completely redeems the tomato, which is The Most Overrated Fruit of All Time.

    Also, mustard sucks way more.
    I guess if we ever do another terrible opinions episode in the future, condiments are off the table because I 100% agree with that.

  11. #10
    homo nintendonus mutilated_lips's Avatar
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    at least until the inevitable intense mayonnaise debate
    chilling in the corner since march 2013

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  13. #11
    impeach churchill Handsome B. Wonderful's Avatar
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    jims v. ryan 'can mayonnaise be legally called an instrument?'

  14. #12
    White Whine Yule Blog's Avatar
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    Ketchup is horrible

































    in large amounts. Hooray for ketchup though; it makes boring foods less boring, and I would rate it up there with salt.
    "I enjoy munching taco so much that I'm basically a lesbian with a cock." ~ Shaunbadia

  15. #13
    social justice spell fencer hamm's Avatar
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    ketchup is the best
    mayo is the worst

  16. #14
    homo nintendonus mutilated_lips's Avatar
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    actually, malt vinegar is the best condiment

    ketchup is a competent second place

  17. #15
    .gif Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    I very much like ketchup.
    Such majestic movement.

  18. #16
    White Whine Yule Blog's Avatar
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    @hammster What if I told you... ketchup and mayo are lush together? Oh and that garlic mayo...

  19. #17
    social justice spell fencer hamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yule Blog View Post
    @hammster What if I told you... ketchup and mayo are lush together? Oh and that garlic mayo...
    mayo legit makes me throw up (think i'm allergic) so i don't wanna try that and ruin ketchup for myself

  20. #18
    White Whine Yule Blog's Avatar
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    Then you are excused.

    But I have to ask, because this is important: does your family keep mayo in the fridge? It must be in the fridge or it will definitely make you throw up.

  21. #19
    I promise I will never die. Elliot74's Avatar
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    Ketchup is extremely overrated, it's really mediocre
    Mayo on the other hand is god's greatest gift to mankind
    "Maybe there is no moral. Maybe it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened."

  22. #20
    Stonecutter Simpsons_Sweden's Avatar
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    I don't like ketchup either.

    Fuck Ketchup!

  23. #21
    really CousinMerl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jims View Post
    What? No way. Ketchup completely redeems the tomato, which is The Most Overrated Fruit of All Time.
    Isn't the tomato a vegetable?

    And I do think ketchup should be stored in the fridge; while I haven't tried it out myself, I'm sure warm or tepid ketchup isn't the best.

  24. #22
    Stonecutter Simpsons_Sweden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CousinMerl View Post
    Isn't the tomato a vegetable?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato

    No it's a fruit/berry.

  25. #23
    social justice spell fencer hamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yule Blog View Post
    Then you are excused.

    But I have to ask, because this is important: does your family keep mayo in the fridge? It must be in the fridge or it will definitely make you throw up.
    We don't have Mayo often but if we do, yes.

  26. #24
    social justice spell fencer hamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CousinMerl View Post
    Isn't the tomato a vegetable?
    That's like "fun" facts 101, Merl.

  27. #25
    White Whine Yule Blog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CousinMerl View Post
    I do think ketchup should be stored in the fridge; while I haven't tried it out myself, I'm sure warm or tepid ketchup isn't the best.
    Yeah, it's weird because it gets warmed up when you put it on hot food, but I absolutely prefer it to be originally cold. Something about it being able to get heated up while sitting out or in a cupboard is so gross to me.

  28. #26
    social justice spell fencer hamm's Avatar
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    Room temperature ketchup is perfection. Despise cold condiments on my warm food.


  29. #27
    Abhorsen-in-Waiting kupomog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaos View Post
    actually, malt vinegar is the best condiment
    Yes


    I like most condiments. Ketchup is used often but not to an overpowering amount. A few times, it has actually saved some horribly bland chili I have been forced to eat.
    I like mustard NOW (hated it as a kid), but stone ground or sweet hot mustard is better than yellow. I'm a-ok with mayo and its many uses, and have even grown to tolerate tartar sauce.

  30. #28
    not-gonna-work o'clock Steve's Avatar
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    Had burgers and fries from Five Guys the other day and got 3 ketchup containers to go with it Fresh, room temperature Heinz goes so well with their fries. Ahghghghghghgh

  31. #29
    homo nintendonus mutilated_lips's Avatar
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    oh no wait, ketchup is third place

    cocktail sauce is second place

  32. #30
    Food-Crazed Maniac Oh, that's raspberry!'s Avatar
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    Ketchup is the only condiment I'll even eat, I have to fight the urge not to use the whole bottle in one sitting. I'll eat any brand really, Heinz or Hunts or generic, whatever, I prefer it cold but doesn't need to be.

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