GABBIN' ABOUT GENOCIDE

Pizza, party at your house
I went, just to check it out
Nineteen, extra larges
What a shame
No one came

Just us, eatin' all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense, lettin' all this go to waste"
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And every day
There's cheese 'round the clock
It's gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated, in the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no

I was, feelin' pretty down
'Til my, girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the, question there that night
I was, kissing her so tenderly, but woe is me
Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I'd suddenly spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me
Tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
(Ooh)


I had, so much on my mind
I thought, maybe I'd unwind
Try out, that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand
But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvienience
Oh man, I really hate it
(Such a drag, now)
I can't eat I can't breathe I can't snore I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no, why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
(Yeah, yeah!)
I gotta tell ya
Life without a head kinda makes me irritated
(What a bummer)
I can't blink I can't cough I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no