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Family Guy Fanscript - Flight of the Griffin (Part 2)

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(Part 1)

(Lois walks outside, she instantly gasps as she sees the truck)

LOIS:

Peter! What is this?

PETER:

What are you blind? Oh, no Lois. Weíre just getting a couple of boxes of books for your reading club. We stole beer. From Pawtucketís.

LOIS:

Why did youÖ?

BRIAN:

Go look in the fridge, Lois.

LOIS:

I know well thereís no beer in there.

PETER:

Yeah, and why go out and buy a 6 pack thatíll last 2 days when we can get a lifetime supply for free?

LOIS:

Because youíre stealing.

PETER:

Donít think of it that way Lois, think of it asÖa reward for all myÖ.hard work.

LOIS:

Hard work.

PETER:

Yes. A reward. A reward for my hard work.

LOIS:

Wait until the brewery hears about this, Peter. Then weíll see whoís working hard.

PETER:

Oh please, the breweryíll never find out.

(Peterís phone rings. He answers.)

PETER:

Hello? What?! No, the bottom shelf. Anyway, Iím fired?!

LOIS:

Told ya.

BRIAN:

So whoís working hard, Lois?

(Stewie walks by in a builderís outfit.)

STEWIE:

Donít mind me, just working hard.

(Brian and Lois look at eachother. Cut to outside The Drunken Clam. Cut to inside. Peter, Quagmire, Mort and Joe having a conversation.)

PETER:

I just canít belive I got fired, guys.

QUAGMIRE:

Wait, why are we at the Clam? Donít you have a lifetime supply of beer?

JOE:

We confiscated it from him.

QUAGMIRE:

Then donít you have a lifetime supply of beer?

(Joeís eyes dart from side to side.)

JOE:

ErmÖno. Whatíd make you think that Quagmire? Itís in the policeís hands. I DONíT HAVE IT I TELL YOU!

MORT:

I remember the first time I got fired, it was very bad. I was 14. I had misplaced a book in the bookstore. Oh yes, I put The Theory of Evolution under Non-Fiction by mistake. My Mother took away my inhaler for a week because of it. It was very bad. I nearly died.

PETER:

I just donít know where Iím gonna get a job now, I mean Lois doesn't have one, Megís too ugly to get a job anywhere and Chris is spending all the money from the paper route on himself.

MORT:

Well maybe you could come and work at the Pharmacy?

(Peter looks upwards, thoughtfully. Inside a thought bubble we see him behind the counter with Mort talking to him.)

MORT:

Now, Peter. I need to go to James Woods High, Neil forgot to bring in his maths assignment and due to family rules, he may not watch any National Geographic if it isnít handed in.

PETER:

Yeah whatever just go.

(Fade in to later, the shelves are empty and bottles and packets are on the floor, emptied. Peter is lying down in a pile of them.)

PETER:

Lois? Lois? Lois, I think I left the gate open. Get the dragon in, PLEASE! Itíll take my grandparents! Lois?

(Back to Peter in the Drunken Clam.)

PETER:

Nah, I donít see that happening.

JOE:

We donít want you on the police force.

PETER:

Why?

(Joe gives him a ďare you really asking that?Ē look.)

QUAGMIRE:

What about if you became a pilot?

PETER:

Letís seeÖany flaws with that?

(Once again to Peterís thoughts. Heís in the cockpit of a plane with many bags of peanuts surrounding him. A stewardess comes in.)

STEWARDESS:

Excuse me, Mr.Griffin. A passenger wants some peanuts and you have them all.

PETER:

Noooo! Theyíre mine! MINE!

STEWARDESS:

A-alright. Iíll tell him weíre out.

(She walks off. Peter laughs to himself)

PETER:

That showed her. Oh. Wait. Holy crap, Iím allergic to peanuts!

(Peter puffs up to the size of the cockpit. View of the outside of the plane.)

PETER:

Errrm, attention passengers, we need to make an emergency landing.

(Back to Peter again in the Clam.)

PETER:

Iíll take it! Peter Griffin is now a pilot!

ALL:

Yay!

QUAGMIRE:

Actually youíre not a pilot yet. You need to take flying lessons.

PETER:

Oh...right.
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Comments

  1. Paul's Avatar
    Dreadfully faithful to the show.
  2. Ralph_Wiggum's Avatar
    ...I can't tell if this was a sarcastic comment or not
  3. Blake's Avatar
    You could be one of the best writers on the show
  4. Ralph_Wiggum's Avatar
    Thank you ;D
  5. Ralph_Wiggum's Avatar
    Wait...was that sarcastic too? D: