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fun features >>> whichcharacterareyou?
Ahem, n'hey.... simply fill out the survey below and I, the great Professor John Frink, will calculate which major Simpsons character you're most like. But, for this to work, you must answer all of the questions.. bhay-gn-flay-vn!

My favorite foods include...

Nachos with cucumbers and cottage cheese
Well I am partial to Jolly Ranchers
Mmm... paste
Steamed toast and dodo egg
Pork products

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

A chocolate factory
At work, far away from my many children
At this year's Comic-Con
At the library
At the bar. Oh man, I need a beer
Driving a speedboat, pulling a pyramid of men in Speedos
At church
At work, firing an employee or two
Entertaining my fans
The "Fireworks, Candy, and Puppy Dog" store

Who do you spend the most time with - who is your best friend?

My dog, man
My overpaying customers
I always just figured my wife was my soulmate
The Bible. Bless you, Lord
A monkey and some dude with a bone stuck in his hair
My books
My boss
What, you mean action figures?
The dollar bill
An imaginary dog who flies by wagging his tail

Here's $20. What do you do with it?

Buy the newest dolls to add to my collection
Bribe someone to throw pudding at the eyes of your employee
Purchase a subscription to the Greater Books of the Western Civilization
A limited edition Khan Noonian Singh figure? I must have it!
Buy an all-syrup Super Squishee
...My cat's breath smells like cat food
Place a bet against the Harlem Globetrotters
Purchase more Beatles memorabilia
Aww, $20? I wanted a peanut!
Buy more desperately needed diapers for your kids

How's your love life?

Hey babe - get down with the clown!
I'm happily married... would you like to adopt one of my kids?
How do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Ooh, if only someone could tame him..
Well, I've never dated anyone with their original hair and teeth.
Hey man, we're living in the age of cooties.
Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
Well, my wife's passing was rough, but ... I think I'm finally ready to move on.

You're granted one wish. What will you do?

Hmm... might as well spruce up the ol' homestead
I want to be more respected than all the educators in the United States put together
Block out the sun
I wish for world peace
I would like to own a full-size replica of the Millenium Falcon
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard
I'd like to plant a wet one on my boss
I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!
I want to be rich and famous
I'm gonna eat chocolate 'till I barf!

Which of these quotes would you be most likely to say?

Thank you, come again!
If anyone wants me I'll be in my room.
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.
That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
I failed you and I'll never forgive myself. Never never never never!
Ahh, there's nothing better than a cigarette... unless it's a cigarette lit with a $100 bill!

Which set of words describes you the best?

Devious. Mischievous. Clever.
Rude. Sarcastic. Geeky.
Hateful. Greedy. Evil.
Lazy. Obnoxious. Easily angered.
Neat. Helpful. Caring.
Intelligent. Ambitious. Know-it-all.
Self-serving. Amusing. Sarcastic.
Absent-minded. Unintelligent. Innocent.
Devoted. Cheerful. Business-minded.
Cautious. Predictable. Friendly.