Brad : Balot? I voted for Jack.
Eric : Lee does ballet.
Lee : Joy of movement increasing. Love of dance impossible to resist. Toes twinkling...look at me! I'm doing ballet...and I love it!
Nate : He's a sissy.. ..let's rush him!

Thano : I think someone needs some prozac!
Eric : Oh no you don't. You put so much ice cream in your homemade prozac you'll make him sick.

I want "The Prodigy" to appear on the Simpsons. Simple for one reason the kick major ass. Nah. They appear in Springfield doing a concert and sing a bunch of their songs. Alot of the kids are there and they take what they sing literally Milhouse and Nelson decide to "Smack their bitches up" Ralph becomes a "Firestarter" Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph decided "To F**K them and their law" Lisa, Janie, Alison and the other girls become "Voodoo People" Bart decided that he wants a haircut like keith and shaves downt he middle of his head why keeping the sides spiked. All the kids get in trouble and eventually change their ways thanks to..oh i don't know.......Moe and If I do not win the elephant I may actually become a FIRESTARTER and I know where you live. - AJ Doucett

Thano : Then you will get nothing and like it.
Eric : Firestarter? You are one troubled young lad.
Brad : I burn things.
Eric : Yes, of course you do.

everyone who was at woodstock 99. in fact, an entire episode should be nothing but woodstock footage, the entire festival, every song of every act of every band. plus lots of special footage of drunk chicks flashing the camera, and people getting it on on the ground. then maybe like christina ricci having hot lesbian sex with katie holmes and natalie portman... and i suppose if theres time left they could work the simpsons into it somehow, just as long as they dont interfere with the music and sex. - Scorpiome

Eric : You have just described my ideal dream. Give that man the $10,000!
Thano : Mmmm... lesbian sex...

I for one, would like to see the Dixie Chicks on The Simpsons**. Lurleen Lumpkin returns to Springfield. After years of searching for a man, she wants to see Homer again. Sadly, Homer can't offer Lurleen the love she wants. Homer makes a prank call, dialing a bunch of numbers. The phone rings, and the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks answers.... instead of continuing his prank call, he has a chat to them. He tells them Lurleen would be a perfect addition to their band, and Lurleen goes on tour with them. Dooood, I was sensible this week. BOOGNISH! ** i do not like the dixie chicks.... so don't call me a donkey - Adam Wolf

Eric : Donkey.........Kong 64, man, this game lasts forever.
Thano : Come on now, the dixie chicks? Make sure your purse matches your dress.
Eric : *grabs Adam's purse* Yoink!
Adam Wolf : Ohh, police, stop that awful, awful man!

Britney Spears. She would play the Boognish. - space coyote

Thano : I'd like to hit her one more time. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. I'm pathetic.
Brad : I think we ALL get it. Don't beat women Thano.

Limp Bizkit. They could put on a concert in springfield after being blackmailed by mayor quimby, and it would be one of those get the town noticed scams... then marge would start a get limp bizkit banned campagn... - Matt Bonyak

Thano : Lee did it all for the nookie.
Eric : So he could take that cookie.
Brad : The trumpet. The trumpet. And you can take it and shove up your... uh.
Nate : Mambo Number 5!

Of course, Elvis Presley isn't dead at all. In 1976, he got taken to a hospital for a triple bypass operation, but he never got out, because Mr Burns came and claimed him. Yes, Mr Burns is a big Elvis fan, and for more than 20 years, he's been having a "Misery"-type hold on the King in his manor, giving him just enough medical attention to survive, but when Homer is there for some reason, he saves the King. The King gets to live with the Simpsons, because he is very frightened of the new world, and he and Homer become friends, but then he hits on Marge and Marge slaps him, causing him to rot instantly. Hey, I'm a freakin' genius! By the way, I was being sarcastic. - Christina

Eric : Well duh.

I'd put Brittney Spears on the show. The episode would center around the controversy of Ms. Spears' speculated "bust augmentation surgery". The whole town'd gossip weeks before her big show in Springfield, then when she finally shows up, she defends her surgery so eloquently, all the ladies in town are lining up to get theirs down too. Even Marge. And Agnes Skinner. And even Grampa Simpson (cuz we all know it's not the first time he's wanted one!) - Cecil

Britney Spears : Cecil, they're real, and they're spectacular.
Thano : *drools*
Nate : Put the Britney hand puppet down, Thano.

George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars! Their role-um, i don't know, i'd just liek to see htem guest star. Actualy, my borhter's a bigger fan, it'd make his day if Geaorge Clinton was on the show! - Calvin

Thano : I weesh I caan spaal mored batters!
Nate : He site read good.

My band, of course. The Cow Humping Cow Humpers of Calabasas High. Heh.. heh.. There's a funny story behind that name. Well, not so funny as it is ... um.. nevermind. - Esa Eslami

Thano : Say something Lee.
Lee : Not this time.

Dammn...I'm drunkkkkkkkkkk..............................I lik e sisponss....tv osg ood,,,,,.///. I t hink I;m gong to asd124.-12-8901209 ..//[ ][[[[[[[[[;'''''' -- * - Nerf

Lee : What was that about my mom?
Thano : I don't know what you're drinking, but may I have some?

Wyld Stalyons: of course they would bring peace and joy to Springfield, but they would also have those way cool hand shakes with the air guitars. Don't forget about the babes and Rufus. I mean, how can you go wrong with Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan? It's a no brainer. - Aaron

Eric : Plus they're first non Brazillian people to travel backwards through time.
Mr. Peabody : Quiet you.

A band named Backstreet Boys and their role would be on death row for killing Krusty because of his joke.Then it turned out to be one of Bart's nightmare. - Jill Nichols

Thano : We would all like to see the Backstreet Boys die, except Eric of course. And for the last time, no, you cannot marry AJ.
Eric : Awww, but he's so dreamy..............wait a minute.

Culture Club. They could have Jon Moss (the drummer) and Boy George (flamboyant lead vocalist) get in a nice big fight or something. For those of you who aren't cultured in Culture Club, Jon and George were lovers for 8 years and now hate each other. Jon cries about it still and George exploits Jon and says "He's a liar", because Jon denied it all at first. But who wouldn't? George's a f*****g fruit!! - Trent DiSoleno

Thano : You lose simply for the fact that you suggested Boy George.
Nate : Looks like someone besides me watched that episode of Behind the Music out of boredom.

I would pick the Beastie Boys. They would be salespersons and they would sell addictive medical products that make the people, of Springfield crave Unusual products - Anne "Insert Funny Nickname Here" Matchette

Thano : I don't care what they do, the Beastie Boys kick ass. But they've already been on the show, I presume. I missed that episode though. Damn.
Nate : That was Futurama. And if the Beasties appear I demand they have Sabotage-esque mustaches.
Thano : I like my sugar with coffee and cream! Keep it goin', keep it goin', keep it goin' full steam! To sweet to be sour, to nice to be mean!
Beastie Boys' Lawyers : That's enough copyright infringement for one day, come with me.

i don't know what i am supposed to respond to, but i do want an elephant. - adamhiggins1@hotmail.com

The Rock : Get outta here, jabroni. Wait, what the hell is the Rock doing back here?
Eric : We tied you up and flew you ov.....
The Rock : It doesn't matter what you did!
Jerry "the king" Lawler : Ahh! Oh my God!!

i think Nine Inch Nails, should be there, they could be a band that have no gigs so they have to play at moes for money then homer thinks there good and manages them and they become multi milionairs , but then he spends it on this 1 beer that costs that much and the lead singer from the band steels it and runs cause he is an alchoholic - Sarah

Eric : One beer that costs millions of dollars? Now that must be some damn fine alcohol.
Barney : This better be the best beer ever! *drinks* You got lucky!

i think that the starland vocal band should be on the show. they can play the evil geniuses who tattooed Homer's arm. (You know this will win, because its my second response! hehe. i know how to beat the system.) - Matt "Howzit Hangin' Grimey?" 88

The System : I am above you. Die now. *sulfuric acid is thrown toward Matt, Matt ducks, the acid hits Nate*
Nate : Agh, my eyes! The goggles do nothing!

BLINK 182. RUN THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE NAKED - MARK

Thano : YEAH! WHAT A COOL IDEA! LIKE THE VIDEO!!!!11111!!!!1111
Lee : I like it!
Brad : All the small things.

The greatest band ever, of course, Dave Matthews Band. Dave could be playing a show in Springfield ("There will be no encore, Springton"), and discovers the nuclear plant. So, Dave calls for his fans to riot and destroy the plant. Unfortunately, all of the fans are stoned by that point, so nothing happens. Mr. Burns then hears of the plot, and tells Smithers to have the Rolling Stones killed. (Subplot of Lisa trying to kill Leroi so she can play sax in DMB) - Chris "Stop blowing my sex, I mean sax, stop blowing your sax" Rodriguez

Thano : Oh... my... this has never happened before... a well thought out response. What do we do, Eric?
Eric : I suggest to stop blowing your sax, for starters.
Nate : Begin the thawing of Jim Nabers.

I say you should have Mr. Bean - Ian Kivell

Thano : That's the most out of place thing I've ever heard.
Shakespeare : Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare?
Thano : Never mind.

I would like to see the artist formerly known as prince to babysit the kids, homer would once again bring up his fear of homosexuals.....hee-hee - Natalie

Nate : Hear that Lee, Homosexuals. This is your cue to say something.
Lee : Hi, everybody!
Eric : Aaaaah!
Thano : Can someone explain to me what's going on here?

I would like to see Will Smith in an episode of The Simpsons as a golfer. - Ryan

Eric : *shudder*
Will Smith : Willenium is comin' baby! You feelin' me?
Nate : Thano, take off that Will Smith mask this instant.

I would totally enjoy seeing "SIX PENCE NONE THE RICHER" On the Simpson's in an up comin episode because I love there group and their song "There She Goes" Its my favorite song. I also think that they would be a great band to watch on the Simpsons because they are very popular and all of my other friends also love their music and would love to watch them on the Simpsons. We don't wanna see N'SYNC or the stupid BACKSTREET BOYS!! - Six Pence None The Richer

Thano : Wouldn't that like, totally rule! Yaa! I mean like, they are soooo good and stuff.
Nate : Who'd a thought Six Pence None The Richer would suggest.. Six Pence None the Richer.
Brad : Starland Vocal Band?! They suck!

Barbara Striesand as a prostitute short of work who homer brings home to live after she makes him feel bad!! - Becka

Rosie O'Donnell : Look at me! I love Barbara Streisand! I wish I could be her! I'm an idiot that knows every single of her songs, and I'm a lesbian! I'm also a hypocrite! Yeah!
Nate : Yes, but honestly, who wouldn't want a piece of that Rosie? Little bit a' pinch n' squeal? Eh?!

Limp Bizkit. They would be Homer's new favorite band after his old favorite band breaks up. - Pittman

Eric : The Doodletown Pipers?

TaxiRide (Get Set, Every where you go) to be the back up group for the....um... Bee Gees then they have to do the whole rest of the show when the Bee Gees plane gets blown up and the darned fools don't show up, TaxiRide has a contract of course to settle the crowd down, in case of this, and gets swamped with eggs, etc. Because he didn't get to see them (Homer gets free tickets from the snpp company raffle even though he hates the Bee Gees) Homer takes the record company to court, with a new layer, Lionel Hutz Jr., and loses miserably as always, then something funny, taxi ride gets caught up in the battle yadda yadda yadda you know how these epicodes end. - Karn Schumacher

Eric : But you yadda'd the best part!
Thano : You can't yadda the best part! Damnit!
Nate : No Elephant fo' you!

I would have one of those cheesey boy bands like N'Sync or something on the show, but I'd have them run over by the springfield elementary school bus whithin the first 5 minutes. - Maddie C.

Eric : The fact that you'd have them on the show in the first place disqualifies you. Better luck next time.
Thano : Don't hide your love for the boy bands Eric, let it all out.
Eric : But there are people watching!

Whoa!!!! The Beatles are planning a US reunion tour and hold a contest to find a 4th member to fill John's shoes. The winner is to be selected at random. Homer enters the contest but is beat out by Joe Fellardi, a golden guinea from Staten Island, NY. He's like Homer in alot of ways, fat, slow, etc. He stuffs his face with pork rinds while on stage with the Beatles, chugs beer, and shows up to perform in his undershirt. Amazingly tho, when the guido opens his mouth to sing he emits a voice almost identical to john lennon's. The tour slowly goes sour when Joe Fellardi hires a manager who decides he will only continue to tour if the band is billed as "JOE FELLARDI and the beatles" blah blah blah - deirdra

Nate : This plot would be best suited for the Joe Fellardi and Friends Prime-Time Comedy Hour.

either Beck, Beastie Boys, Fatboy Slim, Pink Floyd, or Tom Petty. Madonna would be cool to. And oh yes, Ani Difranco, Weird Al, Imani Copala, and uh thats it. - Emily

Eric : The question specifically meant one band. Next!
Thano : You win.... at LOSING!
Nate : You heard the man.. fork over the loser belt, Lee.
Lee : Nooooooo! *reluctantly removes the belt, causing his pants to fall to the ground* Noooooo!
Eric : Ugh, keep the damn belt.

Blues Travler. Homer and lead singer John Popper would get in an eating contest. But Popper would eat to much and die, so Homer takes his place in the band. And the wackiness ensues... - JdRavnos

Eric : Seems like a plot the current Simpsons writers would think up.
Thano : OOOOoooooh! Low blow!

Metallica! For 5 minutes of the episode they would beat the Flandereses up,Beat some woodchucks to kingdomcom.Then For the rest of the episode it be live footage of Metallica playing theyre most ass-kicking songs.Like FUEL,KING NOTHING,OF WOLF AND MAN,and so on.MMmmm Metallica.... - Socko!!!

Eric : But everyone loves Ned Flanders.
Homer : Not me!
Chorus : Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders.
Thano : I wish I could be as cool as Ned. *sniff*

I'd have The Mighty Mighty BossToneS on. Bart could win tickets to one of their concerts and Marge goes with him, but when she hears the F-word she raids Bart's life, censoring everything. Or you guys could be a band, I don't care, whatever makes me win. - Patrick McFadden

Eric : Us, a band? Hmm..
Thano : I can be the sexy one that all the girls love. Every band needs one of those.
Nate : Awww come on! Can't Nate get a lick!

Marylan Manson. Sideshow Bob would go to one of his concerts. He would go because he got a tip that Marylan Manson played classical music. When bob got there, he would go to the front of the audiance to yell at Marylan about how bad his music was. Then Bob would climb up on stage because he was angry that no one could here him, and he would get pushed backstage until marylan was done playing. Then they would talk, and they would share stories, and then Bob would see bart in the crowd,and then marylan would state how he hates all of his fans and wish he could wipe out mass numbers of them, they then decide that by taking the whole audience hostage, they could kill two birds with one stone. The rest of it could take any twist or turn needed. - Dave Teitelbaum

Thano : Uhh...
Nate : Nice! The elephant is yours. Here's the keys.
Eric : Nate, elephants don't have ke......ah, I'll take those from ya.

Alanis Morisette - It turns out that she is the long lost sister of the fat comic store owner.It is revealed that they are part of a government experiment involving boosting subjects sarcasm levels to dangerously high levels. - Adam Henley

Mike Scully : Oh yes, we'll put Alanis Morisette on the show. Look at me, I'm making people happy. I'm the magic man, from Happy Land, who has a house on Lolly Pop Lane!
Dana Scully : I used to do porn. Now look at me pose in my black lingerie.
Mulder : *drools*
Vin Scully : Let's take a time-out from this just d'oh it entry to talk about Farmy Dean's pure beef sausage. Mmmm Mmm!

YMCA. They would be in the background of Smithers house when he answered the door for some reason. I don't think that i need to explain it. - psycho_sykes@hotmail.com

Eric : Psssh, you act like Smithers is gay or something.
Thano : Smithers? Gay? That's like saying that Ellen is a lesbian! It just doesn't happen!
Nate : I'm still awaiting their band choice.

I would like to see the band Ween (Gene and Dene) working at the quickie Mart. Maybe they could break in to song like ElCamino. (there would have to be an ElCamono presant of course). I would also like to see them work Batman in to the plot for a cameo of some sort. - Lisa Nosek

Thano : What the hell does Batman have to do with anything?
Robin : Holy jumpin' backbacks full of dog doo, Batman!
Thano : Go away.
Nate : Boognish!

Good question. First you'd have to consider what shade of light this particular lampshade would extract -- perhaps a darkish red. I thi-- (sees question). Ho ho ho.. oops.. wrong question. Now, what I meant was, SOHCAHTOA is an easy way of remembering which-- (reads question again). Fine. I think the Offspring should guest-star because they're at the peak of their career. They could be doing a show in Springfield to raise money for the key to the cupboard. (slaps self in face) Jeez.. what the hell am I talking about?! - Hari "greebo" Wierny

Thano : After this response, I vow never to allow you to win again.

The Winner: Have Brittany Spears guest star and have the show focus on Barney. It's revealed that Barney is the "genius" behind Spears' song lyrics such as "You spin me around / The earth is moving / But I can't feel the gound," (or her Soda Pop song) and a lawsuit arises with Barney suing Spears for all her money. Phil Hartman is no longer around, so no L. Hutz, but maybe have Shapiro, Cochran, or that other guy guest star (or Fieger) as his representation. In the show, Rolling Stone does a mock up of the Brittany Spears cover with Barney lying out on the bed instead, and at the end of the show, have it revealed that Homer has been coming up with band names that seem innovative but actually arose from his bad spelling: Korn, Limp Bizkit, N'sync, etc. Answer that fits in with the normal responses to the questions on Just D'Oh It: Have Britanny Spears guest star. There's a big sex orgy. Her press people try to get her out of Springfiled lest her paradoxically wholesome yet sexy image degrades into something merely tawdry. She doesn't want to leave, and her fans still see her as wholesome. Bart and Lisa screw. As for the requisite incoherent part of this answer, according to the last script I wrote, hootie mcboob. No elephant for me, thanks. Your scathing insults will be enough. - Mike Galloway

Eric : Surprise, you win! So, you don't want an elephant eh? Well how about we transform Lee into...some sort of a lobster like creature!
Lee : Now wait a damn minute, that wasn't discussed with me!
Eric : Too bad!
Thano : *raps Lee over the head with a lead pipe* Damn, this thing comes in handy.

Conclusion : An unhealthy amount of you want to see Blink 182 run around naked in an episode. I tell ya, it ain't gonna happen! =)