Zombies Rise from the Sea

I'm still alive, I spent a week in a regional health clinic dedicated to dealing with these issues; here's the armbands I wore while I was there for proof.

I don't know what I'm going to do at this point; everything on the internet seems disinteresting to me and even my main hobby of using the computer is starting to feel lifeless for me. I have been on some meds and they aren't as bad as I thought but ...

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I just realized something.

My voice is instantly recognizable.

And my voice has not developed at all...

When I speak, I fear people will recognize me.

I need the community to answer me this?

Does anything I do on the internet matter?

Does any demerit I earn on the internet matter?

If you knew my past, would you still accept me?

And would things get worse if I reveal myself? ...

Everywhere I go they're the same people.

So why can't I use the name before.

Because these people know who I am.

Why can't I do what I want to do using an alias.

Why can't I face the fear and use that name?

I know that these are people.

So why can't I do it?

*sigh*

You know what I realized. That fame is only temporary, that you'll never have a certain skillset for a certain amount of time and that everything you have currently could go away in a second. I don't know if it was ever possible to keep this; the name, the respect, the companionship but I know that the limelight isn't exactly reasonable. It seems like whatever I'm going to do today/tomorrow will put all of this in jeopardy; let me just say that this is the closest I'll get to social interaction ...