klawedkillerkitten
08-20-2006, 08:53 AM
Intro: (Live action) Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks are driving in a car. They start reminising about the Simpsons.
Aykroyd: Ya wanna see something really scary?
*pulls over*
Brooks: Sure. Let's see it!
Aykroyd pulls off his face to reveal that he's Homer and you hear screaming as we zoom out and the opening credits roll with Bat Groening, etc....
Segment 1- 28 Lays Later
Homer: *walks in the door from work* Ahhh...friday. The only night of the week where I can sit on my ass and watch TV without anyone telling me to get back to work. *walks into the living room to see Lisa and Bart watching TV* Hey! You know what night of the week it is...
Lisa: Sorry dad, but there's an Itchy and Scratchy marathon on until 11 tonight...
Bart: You snooze you lose Homer! *evil laugh*
Homer: I'll snooze you......*chokes Bart*
*Marge walks in*
Marge: Homer!
Bart: We even called the TV for tonight this morning...
*flashback to morning at the table*
Marge: So, who has the TV tonight?
Bart: Uh.....
*Lisa points into the living room where she and Bart see a drunken Homer laying on the floor with the couch ontop of him while being surrounded by flies and beer cans*
Bart & Lisa: We do!
*back to the present*
Homer: I don't remember that!
Marge: That's because you were drunk and passed out!
Homer: No, I mean I don't remember sleeping on the couch last night.
Bart: You mean under the couch...
Homer: Ahh...touche.
*At the dinner table*
Homer: *whines* Owhhh...what am I supposed to do tonight? I know! I'll go to Mo.....
Marge: No Moes! For once I would like to have you sober on a Friday night so we can have a decent Saturday together as a family.
Homer: *Looks at Bart and Lisa* You kids are the devil! *storms off*
*Homer is in the bathtub*
Homer: Maybe taking a nice long bath will pass the time tonight. Then, when those two little demons are done watching Atchy and Scritchy, I will take control! Mwhwhahahahahahahaaaaa...*snores and falls asleep*
* hours go by and Homer wakes up*
Homer: *Looks at watch* Oooo...11 o clock on the dot. Heheheheheh...time for some pointless programming late in the evening.
*walks downstairs and grabs a bag of lays*
Homer: Ahhh...tv, we meet again my love. *starts eating rapidly*
TV: It's the Tonight Show With Jay Leno....
Homer: *With Food in his mouth* Ah crap, I don't want to watch the adventures of Chinman....*chokes on chips and passes out*
*Homer wakes up in an empty hospital room*
Homer: huh..hey, where am I? Where is everybody? *yells* Marge! Bart! Lisa! Maggie! Moe! Where is everybody at? *walks out of the room and sees a deserted hospital* Aw great, everyone's probably at home watching something great on TV and failed to mention anything to me!
*an enraged Dr. Hibbert attacks Homer*
Homer: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *is tackled by Dr. Hibbert* Awww...is someone PMSing?
Dr. Hibbert: *drooling screams and shrieks*
Homer: I'll take that as a yes! *takes a random bat laying around and bashes it over Dr. Hibbert's head* Something's a bit odd here. Oh well, better go home and see if the TV is still available.
*walks out of the hospital and sees no cars or people*
Homer: I knew it! There's something really good on TV!
*the ground shakes as Homer hears shrieking*
Homer: huh? *looks at a puddle in the street that is rumbling like in Jurassic Park* Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
*a huge mob of infected enraged people start chasing Homer*
Homer: Oh my god! *starts running*
*Professor Frink pulls Homer onto his flying motorcycle*
Prof. Frink: Homer, me and you are the last two people not infected with the rage virus!
Homer: Rage virus? When did that happen?
Prof. Frink: I stumbled across it when I was trying to calm a wild monkey by injecting a sedative into its GLAVIN! and it attacked me and my assistant.
Homer: So how come you didn't get it?
Prof. Frink: I injected myself with the antivirus before hand because I knew of the infection the monkey had.
Homer: So what do we do now?
Prof. Frink: Look for more survivers.
Homer: We need to go back to my house and get my family.
Prof Frink: Unfortunately, they're infected too...
Homer: No, No, No!
Prof Frink: *points down to an infected mob* There they are.
Homer: Ewww....okay let's go to Popeye's Chicken.
*the motorcyle runs out of fuel and falls to the ground, crushing Professor Frink*
Homer: *gets up and starts to run* Professor Frink!
*Prof Frink tries to speak*
Homer: What is it? Are you trying to tell me how to stop the infection?
Prof Frink: rrraaa rraaa rraaa....
Homer: Raaa! Raaa! Raaa! Something with cheerleaders?
Prf Frink: Ruuuunnnnnn...*dies*
Homer: Ohh....run. I got you...*turns around*
*All the infected people surround Homer*
Homer: D'oh!
*Homer is attacked*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *being ripped apart* This is the worst pain ever! *rip sounds can be heard* Owwwww...that was my good ear!
-End-
Segment 2- Geeky Fry Day
*Bart and Homer are laying around the living room in boredom*
Bart: Ooooooooooh...I am so bored!
Homer: I know...not even TV can help us this time.
*The TV is showing a boring House of Representatives Conference with only 2 people in the audience*
Marge: *enters from kitchen* You wanna know what I do when I bor...
Homer and Bart: No.
Marge: Hmmmmm.......*walks away*
Bart: I have fireworks dad.
Homer: Well, why didn't you say so!
Bart: Because I have no matches to ignite them with.
Homer: Oh...*sees Flanders mowing the lawn out the window* hmmmmm.....*yells* LISA!
Lisa: *yells from upstairs* WHAT DAD?
Homer: IF WE RAN OVER FIREWORKS WITH A LAWN MOWER, WILL THEY EXPLODE?
Lisa: WELL, THE HIGH AMOUNTS OF FRICTION AND HEAT COULD BE ENOUGH TO IGNITE THE EXPLOSIVES IN...
Homer: JUST YES OR NO HONEY!
Lisa: YES!
Bart: Ch-Ching, ch-ching!
Homer: *speaks slowly* No Bart, we say wahoo, we say waaa hooooooo.
Bart and Homer: Wahooooooo!
*Outside Bart and Homer are hiding behind the bushes that divide Flanders' yard w/ the Simpsons' yard*
Homer: okay, okay....what do we do?
Bart: Since I'm smaller...
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: I'm gonna really quick throw the fireworks in the path of the lawn mower when Flanders comes around.
Homer: Won't he see you?
Bart: That's where you come in big boy.
Homer: Oh...you're pretty good at this. Do you do any pranks often?
Bart: *rolls eyes* Here he comes! Go!
Homer: *pants* Hey Flanders....*sees Santa's Little Helper digging a hole and burrying a case of beer* Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Move dog! *trips* D'oh! Oh my god.......my beer!
*As Homer is flying through the air, he is heading towards Ned who turns around and looks*
Flanders: Oh sweet Jesus! Homer!
Bart: Wow, dad is creating quite a distraction...*throws fireworks*
*Homer and Ned collide just as the fireworks go off around them. After the smoke is gone, Bart sees both of them knocked out on the ground*
Bart: I didn't do it! *runs away*
Nelson: *pops out from behind a bush* Haw haw!
*hours go by as Homer and Ned lay unconscience. As they wake up, it is revealed that they have switched bodies, but don't suspect a thing!*
Homer (as Ned): *opens eyes while laying on the ground* God Flanders, always screwing things up!
Ned (as Homer): Oh sorry there Homer. I got a little diddly-distracted! But boy oh boy do I feel sore. *gets up real slowly, still not looking at Homer* Wheeewww...feels like I put on 60 pounds. Well, sorry again Homer. *walks in house*
Homer (as Ned): Hey all this flying around makes me feel thinner. Hmmm...I should collide into Flanders and get concussions everyday! And by that rate, I'll lose 60 pounds!
Kearny: *passing by while riding his bike* Taking a nap in the grass four eyes!
Jimbo: *laughs* Heheheh....geek!
Homer (as Ned): I'll have you know, this grass is...wait a minute! Four eyes?
*Kearny and Jimbo zoom away on their bikes*
Homer (as Ned): Heheheh...kids these days with their crazy imagination. Kinda makes me wish I never destroyed so many brain cells as a kid....Well, time for another beer!
*Homer (as Ned) walks inside the Simpson house and goes in the kitchen where Marge is*
Marge: What are you doing?
Homer (as Ned): What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting a beer...DUH!
Marge: No, I mean what are you doing here?
Homer (as Ned): Marge, it's saturday...I don't have to be at work...
Marge: It's Wednesday!
Homer (as Ned): HAAAAAAA! Don't panic, don't panic... I know! I'll...
Marge: Homie? Is that you?
Homer (as Ned): Of course it is, who else would I ...*looks at reflection in window* HAAAAA!
Bart: *walks in* They switched bodies mom. I saw the whole thing happen.
Marge: Why didn't you say anything?
Bart: I did. I said, "I didn't do it." And I didn't...
Homer (as Ned): Like hell you didn't...*chokes Bart and shirt rips off at same time*
Marge: *looks at Flanders' ripped body* Oh my...
Lisa: *walks in* Why is Mr. Flanders choking Bart?
Marge: Your father and Ned switched bodies.
Lisa: Oh, ok. *pauses* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
*The entire family pauses and hears Ned's girlish scream from next door*
Marge: Ned finally figured it out.
Bart: Heheheheh...so did Rod and Todd *points out the window where Rod and Todd are running and screaming in fear*
Todd: What happened to daddy?
Rod: I think that's what happens to you when you skip church!
Todd: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Reverend Lovejoy!
Ned (as Homer): *barges into the house and out of breath* Homer, I want *breathes heavily* nmy body back!
Homer (as Ned): I think not...FLANDERS! or should I say...LARDO! For once in my life, I'm thin and not filled with rage.
Ned (as Homer): But I am! *starts chasing Homer around*
*The chase escalates outside where Homer (as Ned) jumps into his car with Ned (as Homer) right behind him in his car*
*on the highway, old Gil is driving a taxi*
Gil: Oh boy, old Gil finally has a job that can get him places!
*Homer (as Ned) swerves around and is behind Gil's car and Ned (as Homer) is still in front of Gil. Homer (as Ned) accelerates forward while Ned (as Homer) accelerates backwards crushing Gil in his car*
Gil: Oh! I had two more payments before this Taxi was mine!
*All three cars blow up, sending Homer and Ned into the air, colliding, and then falling to the ground*
*Days later, the Simpson family is sitting at the dinner table and Homer is wearing bandages and an arm sling*
Lisa: I'm glad things are back to normal.
Homer: Me too.
Marge: You mean you don't miss Ned's well toned body?
Homer: The geekiness won over in that department.
Bart: What about Flanders? Things over there still are back to normal.
*Ned's house*
Ned: *fat like Homer* How did Homer manage to eat so much in the little amount of time we had as each other?
Todd: Daddy, is this your hair?
*we see trails of it around the house and falling out of his head*
Ned: Oh sweet Jesus! *faints*
Segment 3- Lost...D'oh!
*Homer and Marge, along with other Springfielders, are on a tour bus going to Capitol City*
Marge: Wow, I can't believe we're going on a bus tour to Capitol City!
Homer: Anything for my one and only!
Marge: Now how did you get these tickets again?
Homer: uhhh....
*Homer remembers being at the Retirement Castle*
Homer: Dad! I brought you your scalp ointment!
Grampa: It's about time! My scalp was making the bingo room have a blizzard!
Homer: *quivers* Ewwwwwww....
Jasper: Abe! Have you seen my teeth?
Grampa: For the last time, I did...pwahhhh! *Jasper's teeth fly out of Grampa's mouth*
Jasper: Come to papa! *bends over to pick up teeth and two tickets fall out of his pocket*
Homer: Hey old guy, you dropped your...hey, Capitol City....
Homer: Don't you worry about it honey. Just think of it as a gift from the old guy upstairs.
*back at the Retirement Castle*
Jasper: First you steal my teeth, then your fat, bald brother steals my trickets to Capitol City...
Grampa: My brother stopped by? Oh I haven't seen him since he died when I was 3!
*back on the bus*
Apu: What is that smell?
*Everyone turns around and looks at Comic Book Guy*
Comic Book Guy: Uh...may I remind you that I took 3, count them 3 showers this morning!
*Everyone turns around and looks at Homer*
Homer: Huh? Do I offend? *sniffs armpits*
Marge: Look outside!
*As the bus crosses the bridge, a big black cloud of smoke engulfs the bus and an explosion is heard*
Moe: Oh my god! We're all gonna die!
Barney: Grab the beer!
*As the bus falls into the water, we see Homer and Marge holding each other, then Apu and Manjula, then Lenny and Carl, then Mr. Burns and Smithers, and then Barney and the beer.*
Homer: *voice is heard* HAAAAAAAAAAA! Oooo...a cracker....HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*The screen then goes dark and cuts to Marge waking up on a sandy beach*
Marge: Oh dear lord! We're are we? *hits Homer on the head* Wake up Homer!
Homer: Huh? *spits out water, seaweed, some fish, a boot, and then a shark.* Oh god, we're am I?
Marge: I think we washed ashore on an island.
Homer: Tell me something I don't know!
Marge: Look, there are some survivors!
Homer: Lenny, Carl!
Carl: Homer!
Lenny: Marge!
Marge: Are there anyone else?
Carl: Yeah, we were just with Moe, Barney, Apu, Manjula, and Mr. Burns.
Homer: Hey, *points at bus* the bus washed the shore!
Marge: Let's see if anyone in there's still alive!
*All four of them run over to the bus when Dr. Hibbert jumps out from under it*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Marge: Dr. Hibbert!
Dr. Hibbert: *laughs* Sorry I startled you. *gets serious* But I don't know if you wanna go in there.
Homer: Why not? Is the boogeyman gonna get me? Hahahahahaha *opens door and corpses of Comic Book Guy, Smithers, Sideshow Mel, Edna, and Agnes fall out.* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lenny: What'd you see Homer?
Homer: Bodies, lot's of them.
Marge: Were they all....dead?
Homer: They were weird colors and smelled if that's what you mean.
Dr. Hibbert: Did you see my wife in there?
Homer: Oh yeah, definitely. The chick with the greenish hair and the bone sticking through it? Yep, saw her.
Dr. Hibbert: No! She looks like this. *shows picture*
Homer: *Sexy Growl* No, she wasn't in there.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, thank god!
Marge: We need to find all the survivors then so we can stick together and get help.
Carl: We're did they all go?
*The five of them walk into the nearby jungle and find Burns' severed head*
Lenny: Hey, I found Mr. Burns!
Homer: Hehehehe! Or what's left of him!
Marge: homer, that could happen to any of us!
Homer: Hehehehe...D'oh!
*A roaring sound is heard*
Dr. Hibbert: What was that?
Homer: Sorry doctor, I didn't eat before we left.
*A roaring sound is heard again*
Marge: No, this is something else...
*suddenly, a polar bear runs by trampling Lenny and killing him instantly,*
Carl: Lenny!
Marge: Oh my god!
Homer: Wait a minute. Tropical island, polar bear, sand...*gasps* That bear is gonna get sunburn!
Marge: Polar bears shouldn't be here.
Carl: Yeah, this is weird.
Dr. Hibbert: Very strange indeed.
*A large gust of wind picks up and a large roar is heard again*
Marge: We need to get outta here!
*Everyone runs until they are surrounded by the rest of the survivors who seem to be mindless zombies.*
Apu: Join us...
Barney: Come...
Moe: It's free and...
Homer: You had me at free! Let's go honey!
*More strange people swarm the survivors and take them away into the jungle*
Homer: Oh my god! HAAAAAAAAAAAA! I knew it was too good to be true!
*We zoom out to see the entire island and then we zoom out into space where we enter the spaceship of Kang and Kodos.*
Kang: I can't believe they deleted the scene where we blow up the bridge!
Kodos: That was our shining moment!
Kang: Why didn't our agent tell us about this!
Kodos: That's because we ate him for dinner last Tuesday!
*Both laugh*
Kang: Do you think the deleted scene will appear in the special features on the DVD?
Kodos: We better call and ask!
*Both rush to the phone*
-END-
Aykroyd: Ya wanna see something really scary?
*pulls over*
Brooks: Sure. Let's see it!
Aykroyd pulls off his face to reveal that he's Homer and you hear screaming as we zoom out and the opening credits roll with Bat Groening, etc....
Segment 1- 28 Lays Later
Homer: *walks in the door from work* Ahhh...friday. The only night of the week where I can sit on my ass and watch TV without anyone telling me to get back to work. *walks into the living room to see Lisa and Bart watching TV* Hey! You know what night of the week it is...
Lisa: Sorry dad, but there's an Itchy and Scratchy marathon on until 11 tonight...
Bart: You snooze you lose Homer! *evil laugh*
Homer: I'll snooze you......*chokes Bart*
*Marge walks in*
Marge: Homer!
Bart: We even called the TV for tonight this morning...
*flashback to morning at the table*
Marge: So, who has the TV tonight?
Bart: Uh.....
*Lisa points into the living room where she and Bart see a drunken Homer laying on the floor with the couch ontop of him while being surrounded by flies and beer cans*
Bart & Lisa: We do!
*back to the present*
Homer: I don't remember that!
Marge: That's because you were drunk and passed out!
Homer: No, I mean I don't remember sleeping on the couch last night.
Bart: You mean under the couch...
Homer: Ahh...touche.
*At the dinner table*
Homer: *whines* Owhhh...what am I supposed to do tonight? I know! I'll go to Mo.....
Marge: No Moes! For once I would like to have you sober on a Friday night so we can have a decent Saturday together as a family.
Homer: *Looks at Bart and Lisa* You kids are the devil! *storms off*
*Homer is in the bathtub*
Homer: Maybe taking a nice long bath will pass the time tonight. Then, when those two little demons are done watching Atchy and Scritchy, I will take control! Mwhwhahahahahahahaaaaa...*snores and falls asleep*
* hours go by and Homer wakes up*
Homer: *Looks at watch* Oooo...11 o clock on the dot. Heheheheheh...time for some pointless programming late in the evening.
*walks downstairs and grabs a bag of lays*
Homer: Ahhh...tv, we meet again my love. *starts eating rapidly*
TV: It's the Tonight Show With Jay Leno....
Homer: *With Food in his mouth* Ah crap, I don't want to watch the adventures of Chinman....*chokes on chips and passes out*
*Homer wakes up in an empty hospital room*
Homer: huh..hey, where am I? Where is everybody? *yells* Marge! Bart! Lisa! Maggie! Moe! Where is everybody at? *walks out of the room and sees a deserted hospital* Aw great, everyone's probably at home watching something great on TV and failed to mention anything to me!
*an enraged Dr. Hibbert attacks Homer*
Homer: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *is tackled by Dr. Hibbert* Awww...is someone PMSing?
Dr. Hibbert: *drooling screams and shrieks*
Homer: I'll take that as a yes! *takes a random bat laying around and bashes it over Dr. Hibbert's head* Something's a bit odd here. Oh well, better go home and see if the TV is still available.
*walks out of the hospital and sees no cars or people*
Homer: I knew it! There's something really good on TV!
*the ground shakes as Homer hears shrieking*
Homer: huh? *looks at a puddle in the street that is rumbling like in Jurassic Park* Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
*a huge mob of infected enraged people start chasing Homer*
Homer: Oh my god! *starts running*
*Professor Frink pulls Homer onto his flying motorcycle*
Prof. Frink: Homer, me and you are the last two people not infected with the rage virus!
Homer: Rage virus? When did that happen?
Prof. Frink: I stumbled across it when I was trying to calm a wild monkey by injecting a sedative into its GLAVIN! and it attacked me and my assistant.
Homer: So how come you didn't get it?
Prof. Frink: I injected myself with the antivirus before hand because I knew of the infection the monkey had.
Homer: So what do we do now?
Prof. Frink: Look for more survivers.
Homer: We need to go back to my house and get my family.
Prof Frink: Unfortunately, they're infected too...
Homer: No, No, No!
Prof Frink: *points down to an infected mob* There they are.
Homer: Ewww....okay let's go to Popeye's Chicken.
*the motorcyle runs out of fuel and falls to the ground, crushing Professor Frink*
Homer: *gets up and starts to run* Professor Frink!
*Prof Frink tries to speak*
Homer: What is it? Are you trying to tell me how to stop the infection?
Prof Frink: rrraaa rraaa rraaa....
Homer: Raaa! Raaa! Raaa! Something with cheerleaders?
Prf Frink: Ruuuunnnnnn...*dies*
Homer: Ohh....run. I got you...*turns around*
*All the infected people surround Homer*
Homer: D'oh!
*Homer is attacked*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *being ripped apart* This is the worst pain ever! *rip sounds can be heard* Owwwww...that was my good ear!
-End-
Segment 2- Geeky Fry Day
*Bart and Homer are laying around the living room in boredom*
Bart: Ooooooooooh...I am so bored!
Homer: I know...not even TV can help us this time.
*The TV is showing a boring House of Representatives Conference with only 2 people in the audience*
Marge: *enters from kitchen* You wanna know what I do when I bor...
Homer and Bart: No.
Marge: Hmmmmm.......*walks away*
Bart: I have fireworks dad.
Homer: Well, why didn't you say so!
Bart: Because I have no matches to ignite them with.
Homer: Oh...*sees Flanders mowing the lawn out the window* hmmmmm.....*yells* LISA!
Lisa: *yells from upstairs* WHAT DAD?
Homer: IF WE RAN OVER FIREWORKS WITH A LAWN MOWER, WILL THEY EXPLODE?
Lisa: WELL, THE HIGH AMOUNTS OF FRICTION AND HEAT COULD BE ENOUGH TO IGNITE THE EXPLOSIVES IN...
Homer: JUST YES OR NO HONEY!
Lisa: YES!
Bart: Ch-Ching, ch-ching!
Homer: *speaks slowly* No Bart, we say wahoo, we say waaa hooooooo.
Bart and Homer: Wahooooooo!
*Outside Bart and Homer are hiding behind the bushes that divide Flanders' yard w/ the Simpsons' yard*
Homer: okay, okay....what do we do?
Bart: Since I'm smaller...
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: I'm gonna really quick throw the fireworks in the path of the lawn mower when Flanders comes around.
Homer: Won't he see you?
Bart: That's where you come in big boy.
Homer: Oh...you're pretty good at this. Do you do any pranks often?
Bart: *rolls eyes* Here he comes! Go!
Homer: *pants* Hey Flanders....*sees Santa's Little Helper digging a hole and burrying a case of beer* Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Move dog! *trips* D'oh! Oh my god.......my beer!
*As Homer is flying through the air, he is heading towards Ned who turns around and looks*
Flanders: Oh sweet Jesus! Homer!
Bart: Wow, dad is creating quite a distraction...*throws fireworks*
*Homer and Ned collide just as the fireworks go off around them. After the smoke is gone, Bart sees both of them knocked out on the ground*
Bart: I didn't do it! *runs away*
Nelson: *pops out from behind a bush* Haw haw!
*hours go by as Homer and Ned lay unconscience. As they wake up, it is revealed that they have switched bodies, but don't suspect a thing!*
Homer (as Ned): *opens eyes while laying on the ground* God Flanders, always screwing things up!
Ned (as Homer): Oh sorry there Homer. I got a little diddly-distracted! But boy oh boy do I feel sore. *gets up real slowly, still not looking at Homer* Wheeewww...feels like I put on 60 pounds. Well, sorry again Homer. *walks in house*
Homer (as Ned): Hey all this flying around makes me feel thinner. Hmmm...I should collide into Flanders and get concussions everyday! And by that rate, I'll lose 60 pounds!
Kearny: *passing by while riding his bike* Taking a nap in the grass four eyes!
Jimbo: *laughs* Heheheh....geek!
Homer (as Ned): I'll have you know, this grass is...wait a minute! Four eyes?
*Kearny and Jimbo zoom away on their bikes*
Homer (as Ned): Heheheh...kids these days with their crazy imagination. Kinda makes me wish I never destroyed so many brain cells as a kid....Well, time for another beer!
*Homer (as Ned) walks inside the Simpson house and goes in the kitchen where Marge is*
Marge: What are you doing?
Homer (as Ned): What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting a beer...DUH!
Marge: No, I mean what are you doing here?
Homer (as Ned): Marge, it's saturday...I don't have to be at work...
Marge: It's Wednesday!
Homer (as Ned): HAAAAAAA! Don't panic, don't panic... I know! I'll...
Marge: Homie? Is that you?
Homer (as Ned): Of course it is, who else would I ...*looks at reflection in window* HAAAAA!
Bart: *walks in* They switched bodies mom. I saw the whole thing happen.
Marge: Why didn't you say anything?
Bart: I did. I said, "I didn't do it." And I didn't...
Homer (as Ned): Like hell you didn't...*chokes Bart and shirt rips off at same time*
Marge: *looks at Flanders' ripped body* Oh my...
Lisa: *walks in* Why is Mr. Flanders choking Bart?
Marge: Your father and Ned switched bodies.
Lisa: Oh, ok. *pauses* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
*The entire family pauses and hears Ned's girlish scream from next door*
Marge: Ned finally figured it out.
Bart: Heheheheh...so did Rod and Todd *points out the window where Rod and Todd are running and screaming in fear*
Todd: What happened to daddy?
Rod: I think that's what happens to you when you skip church!
Todd: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Reverend Lovejoy!
Ned (as Homer): *barges into the house and out of breath* Homer, I want *breathes heavily* nmy body back!
Homer (as Ned): I think not...FLANDERS! or should I say...LARDO! For once in my life, I'm thin and not filled with rage.
Ned (as Homer): But I am! *starts chasing Homer around*
*The chase escalates outside where Homer (as Ned) jumps into his car with Ned (as Homer) right behind him in his car*
*on the highway, old Gil is driving a taxi*
Gil: Oh boy, old Gil finally has a job that can get him places!
*Homer (as Ned) swerves around and is behind Gil's car and Ned (as Homer) is still in front of Gil. Homer (as Ned) accelerates forward while Ned (as Homer) accelerates backwards crushing Gil in his car*
Gil: Oh! I had two more payments before this Taxi was mine!
*All three cars blow up, sending Homer and Ned into the air, colliding, and then falling to the ground*
*Days later, the Simpson family is sitting at the dinner table and Homer is wearing bandages and an arm sling*
Lisa: I'm glad things are back to normal.
Homer: Me too.
Marge: You mean you don't miss Ned's well toned body?
Homer: The geekiness won over in that department.
Bart: What about Flanders? Things over there still are back to normal.
*Ned's house*
Ned: *fat like Homer* How did Homer manage to eat so much in the little amount of time we had as each other?
Todd: Daddy, is this your hair?
*we see trails of it around the house and falling out of his head*
Ned: Oh sweet Jesus! *faints*
Segment 3- Lost...D'oh!
*Homer and Marge, along with other Springfielders, are on a tour bus going to Capitol City*
Marge: Wow, I can't believe we're going on a bus tour to Capitol City!
Homer: Anything for my one and only!
Marge: Now how did you get these tickets again?
Homer: uhhh....
*Homer remembers being at the Retirement Castle*
Homer: Dad! I brought you your scalp ointment!
Grampa: It's about time! My scalp was making the bingo room have a blizzard!
Homer: *quivers* Ewwwwwww....
Jasper: Abe! Have you seen my teeth?
Grampa: For the last time, I did...pwahhhh! *Jasper's teeth fly out of Grampa's mouth*
Jasper: Come to papa! *bends over to pick up teeth and two tickets fall out of his pocket*
Homer: Hey old guy, you dropped your...hey, Capitol City....
Homer: Don't you worry about it honey. Just think of it as a gift from the old guy upstairs.
*back at the Retirement Castle*
Jasper: First you steal my teeth, then your fat, bald brother steals my trickets to Capitol City...
Grampa: My brother stopped by? Oh I haven't seen him since he died when I was 3!
*back on the bus*
Apu: What is that smell?
*Everyone turns around and looks at Comic Book Guy*
Comic Book Guy: Uh...may I remind you that I took 3, count them 3 showers this morning!
*Everyone turns around and looks at Homer*
Homer: Huh? Do I offend? *sniffs armpits*
Marge: Look outside!
*As the bus crosses the bridge, a big black cloud of smoke engulfs the bus and an explosion is heard*
Moe: Oh my god! We're all gonna die!
Barney: Grab the beer!
*As the bus falls into the water, we see Homer and Marge holding each other, then Apu and Manjula, then Lenny and Carl, then Mr. Burns and Smithers, and then Barney and the beer.*
Homer: *voice is heard* HAAAAAAAAAAA! Oooo...a cracker....HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*The screen then goes dark and cuts to Marge waking up on a sandy beach*
Marge: Oh dear lord! We're are we? *hits Homer on the head* Wake up Homer!
Homer: Huh? *spits out water, seaweed, some fish, a boot, and then a shark.* Oh god, we're am I?
Marge: I think we washed ashore on an island.
Homer: Tell me something I don't know!
Marge: Look, there are some survivors!
Homer: Lenny, Carl!
Carl: Homer!
Lenny: Marge!
Marge: Are there anyone else?
Carl: Yeah, we were just with Moe, Barney, Apu, Manjula, and Mr. Burns.
Homer: Hey, *points at bus* the bus washed the shore!
Marge: Let's see if anyone in there's still alive!
*All four of them run over to the bus when Dr. Hibbert jumps out from under it*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Marge: Dr. Hibbert!
Dr. Hibbert: *laughs* Sorry I startled you. *gets serious* But I don't know if you wanna go in there.
Homer: Why not? Is the boogeyman gonna get me? Hahahahahaha *opens door and corpses of Comic Book Guy, Smithers, Sideshow Mel, Edna, and Agnes fall out.* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lenny: What'd you see Homer?
Homer: Bodies, lot's of them.
Marge: Were they all....dead?
Homer: They were weird colors and smelled if that's what you mean.
Dr. Hibbert: Did you see my wife in there?
Homer: Oh yeah, definitely. The chick with the greenish hair and the bone sticking through it? Yep, saw her.
Dr. Hibbert: No! She looks like this. *shows picture*
Homer: *Sexy Growl* No, she wasn't in there.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, thank god!
Marge: We need to find all the survivors then so we can stick together and get help.
Carl: We're did they all go?
*The five of them walk into the nearby jungle and find Burns' severed head*
Lenny: Hey, I found Mr. Burns!
Homer: Hehehehe! Or what's left of him!
Marge: homer, that could happen to any of us!
Homer: Hehehehe...D'oh!
*A roaring sound is heard*
Dr. Hibbert: What was that?
Homer: Sorry doctor, I didn't eat before we left.
*A roaring sound is heard again*
Marge: No, this is something else...
*suddenly, a polar bear runs by trampling Lenny and killing him instantly,*
Carl: Lenny!
Marge: Oh my god!
Homer: Wait a minute. Tropical island, polar bear, sand...*gasps* That bear is gonna get sunburn!
Marge: Polar bears shouldn't be here.
Carl: Yeah, this is weird.
Dr. Hibbert: Very strange indeed.
*A large gust of wind picks up and a large roar is heard again*
Marge: We need to get outta here!
*Everyone runs until they are surrounded by the rest of the survivors who seem to be mindless zombies.*
Apu: Join us...
Barney: Come...
Moe: It's free and...
Homer: You had me at free! Let's go honey!
*More strange people swarm the survivors and take them away into the jungle*
Homer: Oh my god! HAAAAAAAAAAAA! I knew it was too good to be true!
*We zoom out to see the entire island and then we zoom out into space where we enter the spaceship of Kang and Kodos.*
Kang: I can't believe they deleted the scene where we blow up the bridge!
Kodos: That was our shining moment!
Kang: Why didn't our agent tell us about this!
Kodos: That's because we ate him for dinner last Tuesday!
*Both laugh*
Kang: Do you think the deleted scene will appear in the special features on the DVD?
Kodos: We better call and ask!
*Both rush to the phone*
-END-