klawedkillerkitten
08-11-2006, 09:37 AM
This one is "The Return of the Nerds" and the other one is a clip show, yes I said it, a clip show...and it's called "Awwww..Crap, Another Clip Show". I know everyone hates clip shows so don't waste your breath telling me.
----------------------------
The Return of the Nerds
Lenny: Hey Homer, me and Carl are going to Moe's for lunch. You wanna come?
Homer: No, go on without me. I have um...some uh, extra work to do around here.
Lenny: You sure? Well, okay. *walks away with Carl*
Carl: that's weird, Homer never passes up a free lunch at Moe's.
Lenny: Who said it was free?
Carl: Because Homer's always too drunk to find his wallet.
Lenny: *angry* Yeah, "too" drunk.
Homer: Hehehehe, suckers. *pulls out a 6 foot long hoagie and a six pack of beer from a mini refrigerator under his desk*
---In Mr. Burns Office, he and Smithers are watching the plant through the security cameras---
Mr. Burns: Look at all these filthy workers hurrying to leave work to stuff their face for lunch. Oh but look here. This one was smart enough to bring his own lunch to work and eat at the same time. Who is this food bag?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson sir, one of your continuasiually lazy boobs from Sector 7G.
Burns: Why, he isn't lazy at all! Look at him work!
*Homer is shown eating his hoagie and doing a child's word search and can't seem to find the word "cat".*
---Back at Homer's work station---
*Mr. Burns and Smithers Enter*
Homer: *with food in his mouth* Where are you cat! *pencil breaks* dammit!
Mr. Burns: Simpson...
Homer: *turns around* HAAAAAAAA! *hides hoagie, beer, and word search* I'm mean, Haalloooo Mr. Burns. What can I do for you?
Mr. Burns: Come with me tubby.
Homer: Yes sir.
*All 3 enter Burns' office*
Mr. Burns: For your admiring work effort, I'm...
Homer: Promoting me?
Mr. Burns: No, I'm putting you in charge of teaching three strapping young men the works around the plant.
Especially, the safety since that's your field of work. Bring them in Smithers.
*Smithers brings in the 3 nerds Homer bunked with at college*
Homer: Hey I know you nerds!
Nerd 1: Greetings Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 2: Long time no see Mr. Simpson.
Milhouse: Hi Bart's dad!
Mr. Burns: Whoops, wrong nerd...*presses button and makes Milhouse fall through a hole in the floor.*
Nerd: 3: Hello Mr. Simpson.
---Next Scene---
*back at Homer's work station*
Homer: Wow, I can't believe I'm working with my old college buddies...I remember all the good old days back when we were in college...
*random clip shown of Homer and the nerds in the Homer Goes to College Ep*
Nerd 1: Mr. Simpson, that was only a few years ago.
Homer: Doesn't it feel like it was yesterday?!
Nerd 2: We should get started on our work...
Homer: Work? Pfffttt....we don't have to do that.
Nerd 2: But Mr. Simpson...
Homer: C'mon guys, remember how much fun we had in the dorm?
Nerd 3: Getting expelled wasn't that much fun...
Homer: See, he knows what I'm talking about!
Nerd 1: Gary's right, we need to get to work.
Homer: Okay, okay. How about we full around a bit and then, I promise, we'll do some REAL work around here. I do it all the time!
Nerd 2: Well, if you do it all the time...
Nerd 1: And you've been working here for 10 plus years...
Nerd 3: I guess it's alright.
Homer: Wahoo! Let's start with some prank calls!
Mr. Burns: *phone rings, picks it up* A hoy, hoy.
Homer: Hellllllooooooooo.
Mr. Burns: Yes....
Homer: Hellooooooooooooo?
Mr. Burns: May I help you?
Homer: *acts like an retart* Duh, Nooooo. You called me!
Mr. Burns: No, I’m sure you called me. What can I help you with?
Homer: Duh, I like speedos!
Mr. Burns: Smither's is this you!
Smithers: *pops out from under Burns' desk* i'm right here sir.
Homer: *laughing in the background*
Mr. Burns: *mad grunt* A prank call, eh. We'll see who will be laughing when a mutated rattlesnake slithers out of your phone and bites you on the neck! ...wait, there is a mutated rattlesnake, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: No, Mr. Burns. Rattlesnakes crawling through phone lines is considered impossible.
Mr. Burns: Damnation!
------Homer's work station------
*Everyone is laughing*
Nerd 1: Wow, I haven't had this much fun since...well, ever!
Nerd 2: This is what it must feel like to actually go first base with a girl!
Homer: Let's not get too excited there pal.
Nerd 3: Thanks for breaking the ice Mr. Simpson, but let's get started on our work then.
Homer: Work? But nerds, I mean, guys....we have just begun! We can't stop now. How about one more prank call. Hmmm? *hands phone to one of the nerds*
*Mr. Burns walks in*
Mr. Burns: So, you think you can all forget about your work and prank call people, including me, all day long? *points at security camera* Nice try, but I caught your every move!
Homer: huh? *looks up at camera* D'oh!
Mr. Burns: You three nerds are fired! *storms out of the room*
Smithers: What about Homer Simpson, he's the one who persuaded these men to stray away from their work?
Mr. Burns: Who?
Nerd 1: Thanks a lot Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 2: Let's go play Dungeons and Dragons back at my Grandma's house.
Nerd 3: You're not invited Mr. Simpson.
*all 3 nerds leave*
Homer: Oh, I ruined these nerds' life again!
Mr. Burns through the intercom: Back to work tubby!
Homer: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
---------Simpson's house----------
Homer: Oh Marge, this is the second time I ruined it for these nerds...and this time, I think they're really mad at me.
Marge: Aw Homie, maybe if you just apologize, they'll forgive you.
Lisa: Dad, first of all, quit calling them nerds and second of all, you should confess to Mr. Burns that it was you who refused to show them the ropes at work, not them.
Bart: Only a true nerd would say that.
Lisa: Takes one to know one, Bart!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's is making good come backs!
Marge: Would you two quiet! Now Homer, maybe you should take Lisa's advice.
Homer: Okay, I won't call them nerds anymore.
Marge: No, her other advice.
Homer: Alright Marge, but if I lose my job it's your own fault!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Okaay, okay. It won't be your fault, it will be Lisa's fault.
-------Outside of Mr. Burns' Office--------
Homer: Well, I guess it's time to tell Mr. Burns the truth. *hears Mr. Burns and Smithers* Huh?
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm telling you...push harder!
*Homer peeks in and sees Mr. Burns standing beside a file cabinet with a drawer opened at his waist and Smithers is bent over with his head behind the drawer which makes it look like the two are doing something naughty*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *runs*
Smithers: *looks up* What was that? *pushes the drawer closed*
Mr. Burns: *an outlet and cord plug in Smither's hands is shown* Oh pish posh, get back to trying to put that plug into the wall.
--------Back in Homer's work station-------
Homer: *tries to catch breath* Okay, okay, Homer, try to think of something else other than those two behind the file cabinet! *thought bubble above head shows donuts twirling* ahh.....(sigh of relief) Maybe telling Mr. Burns the truth right away isn't such a good idea. Let me go apologize to the nerds first.
*Homer walks past Burns' office to leave the plant*
Mr. Burns: It's not in all the way I tell ye!
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I get outta here! *runs*
------------Nerd's Grandma's House------------
*Homer rings doorbell*
Grandma: Yes dear?
Homer: I was wondering if Gary and the other guys can come out and play?
Grandma: Oh sure young man, there just playing Dungeons & Dragons in the den. Gary, there's someone here at the door for you!
*all the nerds come outside to see Homer*
Homer: I hope you guys aren't still mad at me for getting you fired.
Nerd 1: We're mad that we got fired Mr. Simpson, but we couldn't stay mad at you forever.
Homer: Does that mean we're still pals?
Nerd 2: Although Dungeons & Dragons took our minds off of what happened and eased our pain, we have come to the conclusion that seeing you isn't such a good idea.
*nerd 3 nods*
Homer: But I'm sorry! And I promise not to call you guys nerds anymore! I'll call you by your real names. Gary, um....., and you two.
Nerd 3: It's not about what you call us, it's that you let us down again, Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 1: Good bye, Mr. Simpson.
*Homer starts to walk away*
*Snake comes from nowhere and knocks on the door*
Nerd 1: What can I do for you?
Snake: Um...Cellphone inspector.
Nerd 1: *pulls out cellphone* Well, here's my new razor phone. Hope everything's in order...
Snake: Whoa! I can't believe that worked again! Bye! Ha-Haw! *runs*
Homer: *runs back* See, you guys need me!
Nerd 2: Well, I guess we do need you Mr. Simpson.
Homer: Call me Homer.
Nerd 2: Okay....Homer.
Homer: And since we're buds again, I'm gonna go straight to Mr. Burns and get your jobs back!
Nerd 3: No need Homer. We all got hired at the Shelbyville Plant, invented a new type of power there, caused the plant to gain billions of dollars, got paid in the millions, and now we play Dungeons and Dragons all day to pass the time.
Homer: *jaw drops* Whaaaaa?
Nerd 1: And it's all thanks to you!
Homer: So if I didn't make you...but if you didn't get fi-----D'OH!
Nerd 2: Don't take it too hard on yourself Homer. But did I mention that everyone at the Shelbyville plant got raises?
*Homer passes out*
----------------------
Awww...Crap, Another Clip Show
*Bart and Lisa Watching Itchy & Scratchy*
Lisa: Have you noticed that the show has decreased in hilarity over the years?
Bart: Meh...it has good episodes every once in a while.
Marge: *knitting on the couch* Over time, cartoons lose their luster as do people.
*Everyone looks at Grampa who's sitting in a recliner*
Grampa: Your Itchy and Mitchy filth didn't stand a chance from the beginning! Back in my day we didn't have a picture box to watch silly cartoons on. We'd all....*falls asleep*
Bart: In this kind of situation, I would say hey let's write our own episode for Itchy and Scratchy. But that kinda already happened.
Little Barbershop of Horrors cartoon is shown.
Marge: Why don't you two come up with your own cartoon?
Bart: It's already been done.
The Angry Dad Cartoon is shown.
Marge: How about you two listen to the radio for entertainment? That's what I did when I was a kid.
Bart: *puts KBBL on* I hope they do dialing at random!
From 'A Tale of Two Springfields' -
Marty: Okay, time to give away freeeee concert tickets.
[Bill pushes a button on console]
Gary Coleman: [sound bite] Whatchu talkin' about?
Marty: What we're talking about, Gary, is The Who.
Bill: We're giving away tickets to next week's concert at
Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena.
Homer: [gasps] The Who? I love bands!
Bill: And now, we'll dial our big winner at random.
[puts a sound-bite tape into the console]
Singers: Dialing at random.
Marty: Okay, let's start with 5-5-5-0-1-1, and 3!
[at home, Homer's anticipation mounts]
Homer: That's my number! Jumps near the phone, ready to
pick up.
Burns: [on radio] Ahoy, hoy!
Homer: Hey, that's not me.
Bart: Dad, we're not in their area code any more.
Bill: Congratulations, you're going to rendezvous with The
Who!
Homer: [smashes radio] It's not fair! I've been a fan of
The Who since the very beginning, when they were The
Hillbilly Bugger Boys.
Bart: You should call that radio station and let 'em have
it!
Homer: Good idea!
[dials the phone -- and gets the tri-tone again.
Bart laughs]
You little --!
[throttles Bart with the cord. Bart fights back by
hitting Homer repeatedly with the receiver. They
both eventually pass out on the floor]
Lisa: Or some other pointless contest!
From 'Bart Gets an Elephant'-
Marty: Let's try one more number.
Homer: Y'ello?
Bart: [grabs phone] KBBL is going to give me something stupid!
Marty: Well, hot dog! We have a weiner! [car alarm noise]
Homer: [grasping air] Y'ello?
Bart: I won, I won!
Marty: You win your choice of $10,000 or -- what's our gag prize this
week, Bill?
Bill: [raucous] A full-grown African Elephant! Bart: Well, all that money sounds mighty tempting, Marty, but I think I'm going to have to go with the elephant.
Homer: [to Marge, happily] He's taking the elephant instead of the money.
Marty: [whispering] The kid wants the elephant!
Bill: We don't have an damn elephant.
Marty: Don't whisper into the mike! Bill: Ahem, kid, the elephant's a gag prize. Nobody takes the gag
prize. [nervous laughter] You want the cash.
Bart: [indignant] I want the elephant!
Homer: Heh, heh, stick it to the man!
*Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are listening to the radio*
*Homer runs through the door in fear*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Grampa: *whimpers* Don't do that!
Marge: What's wrong Homer?
Homer: The mob's after me!
Lisa: What'd you do?
Marge: You didn't pretend to be Krusty again, did you?
From 'Homie the Clown'-
Legs: [gasps] I'm seeing double here: four Krustys!
Homer: Krusty! Oh thanks, thanks a lot. You came here to save me!
Krusty: [slowly] Yeah, that's what I did.
Vittorio: My apologies to you. I almost made a grievous error. [cocks
gun at Krusty] Goodbye, Krusty.
Krusty: Wait: he can't kill anybody if he doesn't know which one is
the real Krusty.
[grabs Homer by the head and plays the shell game with
himself and Homer]
Vittorio: I am confused.
Homer: Heh heh. Good one, Krusty.
[Vittorio cocks the gun at Krusty]
Krusty: Oh, crap.
*The two klowns jump across a gap
onto the bar; Homer's head plays "The Godfather" theme music on the wine
glasses that dangle from the roof. "Ah!" gasp the Italians. Krusty
sees that the part of the bar that lifts up so the bartender can get out
is raised. Thinking quickly, he knocks it closed with seltzer. The
Italians even applaud, but Vittorio moans, "Ah, but without the loop it
is nothing," cocking his gun again.
He's spoken too quickly -- Krusty and Homer fly off the bar, straight
towards the loop, and whizz around and around it many times. They fly
off together and skillfully land in the "Ta da!" pose; the miniature
bike flies towards them, and Krusty, although he opens his mouth to
catch it, is beaten to the punch by Homer, who swallows it and makes the
bell ring by opening his mouth.*
Homer: No....
*Gun shots*
Homer: Haaaa!
Bart: Then, what happened?!
Homer: I parked in Fat Tony's parking spot at the Try N Save!
*More Gun Shots*
Marge: Everyone, down in the basement!
--------The Basement---------
Homer: Aw..the basement. Our lone protection from the forces of evil and harm.
From 'Hurricane Neddy'-
*Marge and Lisa run from the front yard into the basement after coming home from the Kwik-E-Mart*
Homer: Okay, it's the standard Grampa drill. Everybody into the cellar!
Bart: Can't the mobsters just come into the house and then find us down here?
Lisa: Bart's right, they'll eventually f----
*Fat Tony and his mob buddies bust through the cellar door and head downstairs*
Fat Tony: *with a gun pointed at Homer* So, you think you can take my parking spot without asking, eh? Well I got knews for you....*puts gun up against Homer's head*
Marge: Wait, wait wait! If Homer apologizes, will you let him, and us, go?
Fat Tony: Homer? That name sounds familiar....
From 'The Twisted World of Marge Simpson'-
Tony: [clearing his throat] Greetings, Homer.
Homer: Hey! Fat Tony! You still with the mafia? [walks away]
Tony: Uh... Uh, yes, I am. [holds him back] Thank you for asking.
Now, Homer, as you no doubt recall, you were done a favor by our,
uh, how shall I say -- Mafia Crime Syndicate.
Homer: Oh, yeah...
Tony: Now the time has come for you to do us a favor.
Homer: [shocked] You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something
in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir!
From 'Mayored to the Mob'-
Homer: Yes! Nobody messes with the mayor when Homer Simpson's on
... oh, crap.
[notices Fat Tony, who is beating the mayor with a baseball
bat]
Homer: Oh, Fat Tony ...
Fat Tony: What? What did I do?
From 'Insane Clown Poppy'-
Homer: *singing owimoweh from "The Lion Sleeps Tonight*
Fat Tony: Don't do that.
Tony: Now I remember you! You have caused me trouble over the years...and now that will all end! *Starts to pull the trigger on the gun pointed at Homer's head*
Legs: Boss, look out!
*Moe comes flying in through the small basement window with the Fanman's propeller to save Homer once again*
Tony: Let's get outta here...that guy's gotta fan! *runs away with mobsters*
Homer: Thanks Moe! But where did you get that fan thing?
Moe: That's right, you don't remember....
From 'The Homer They Fall'-
Homer: [slurred] Are you an angel?
Moe: Yes, Homer. I'm an angel. All us angels wear farah slacks.
Homer: But you stopped the fight. Won't everyone be mad at you?
Moe: Eh, let 'em be mad. The only thing that matters to me is you're
safe.
[bumps Homer's head up a steel beam]
Homer: D'oh!
Moe: Sorry.
------Outside in the backyard--------
Marge: Oh Moe...you're all our heroes!
Moe: *whispers to Marge* Can I be your hero somewhere else?
Marge: No!
Moe: Well, it was worth a shot.
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Sislack...
Moe: What is is angel?
Lisa: You have a piece of dry wall stuck in the back of your head.
Moe: Yeah, it kinda got stuck there on the way in. How come they make basement windows so damn small?!
Homer: Wheeww! I need a drink. Moe, can you fly me over to the bar?
Moe: Sure thing Homer.
Marge: You left the bar all alone?
Moe: Well, hasn't been the first time.
From 'The New Kid on the Block'-
Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? *Gasps* Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray! *drinks it*
Moe: Barney! I better get back to the bar fast!
Homer: Let's roll!
*Moe and Homer start to fly*
Homer: *hits head on tree branch* D'oh!
Moe: Sorry...again.
*Homer and Moe fly into the sunset together*
-----------End--------------
----------------------------
The Return of the Nerds
Lenny: Hey Homer, me and Carl are going to Moe's for lunch. You wanna come?
Homer: No, go on without me. I have um...some uh, extra work to do around here.
Lenny: You sure? Well, okay. *walks away with Carl*
Carl: that's weird, Homer never passes up a free lunch at Moe's.
Lenny: Who said it was free?
Carl: Because Homer's always too drunk to find his wallet.
Lenny: *angry* Yeah, "too" drunk.
Homer: Hehehehe, suckers. *pulls out a 6 foot long hoagie and a six pack of beer from a mini refrigerator under his desk*
---In Mr. Burns Office, he and Smithers are watching the plant through the security cameras---
Mr. Burns: Look at all these filthy workers hurrying to leave work to stuff their face for lunch. Oh but look here. This one was smart enough to bring his own lunch to work and eat at the same time. Who is this food bag?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson sir, one of your continuasiually lazy boobs from Sector 7G.
Burns: Why, he isn't lazy at all! Look at him work!
*Homer is shown eating his hoagie and doing a child's word search and can't seem to find the word "cat".*
---Back at Homer's work station---
*Mr. Burns and Smithers Enter*
Homer: *with food in his mouth* Where are you cat! *pencil breaks* dammit!
Mr. Burns: Simpson...
Homer: *turns around* HAAAAAAAA! *hides hoagie, beer, and word search* I'm mean, Haalloooo Mr. Burns. What can I do for you?
Mr. Burns: Come with me tubby.
Homer: Yes sir.
*All 3 enter Burns' office*
Mr. Burns: For your admiring work effort, I'm...
Homer: Promoting me?
Mr. Burns: No, I'm putting you in charge of teaching three strapping young men the works around the plant.
Especially, the safety since that's your field of work. Bring them in Smithers.
*Smithers brings in the 3 nerds Homer bunked with at college*
Homer: Hey I know you nerds!
Nerd 1: Greetings Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 2: Long time no see Mr. Simpson.
Milhouse: Hi Bart's dad!
Mr. Burns: Whoops, wrong nerd...*presses button and makes Milhouse fall through a hole in the floor.*
Nerd: 3: Hello Mr. Simpson.
---Next Scene---
*back at Homer's work station*
Homer: Wow, I can't believe I'm working with my old college buddies...I remember all the good old days back when we were in college...
*random clip shown of Homer and the nerds in the Homer Goes to College Ep*
Nerd 1: Mr. Simpson, that was only a few years ago.
Homer: Doesn't it feel like it was yesterday?!
Nerd 2: We should get started on our work...
Homer: Work? Pfffttt....we don't have to do that.
Nerd 2: But Mr. Simpson...
Homer: C'mon guys, remember how much fun we had in the dorm?
Nerd 3: Getting expelled wasn't that much fun...
Homer: See, he knows what I'm talking about!
Nerd 1: Gary's right, we need to get to work.
Homer: Okay, okay. How about we full around a bit and then, I promise, we'll do some REAL work around here. I do it all the time!
Nerd 2: Well, if you do it all the time...
Nerd 1: And you've been working here for 10 plus years...
Nerd 3: I guess it's alright.
Homer: Wahoo! Let's start with some prank calls!
Mr. Burns: *phone rings, picks it up* A hoy, hoy.
Homer: Hellllllooooooooo.
Mr. Burns: Yes....
Homer: Hellooooooooooooo?
Mr. Burns: May I help you?
Homer: *acts like an retart* Duh, Nooooo. You called me!
Mr. Burns: No, I’m sure you called me. What can I help you with?
Homer: Duh, I like speedos!
Mr. Burns: Smither's is this you!
Smithers: *pops out from under Burns' desk* i'm right here sir.
Homer: *laughing in the background*
Mr. Burns: *mad grunt* A prank call, eh. We'll see who will be laughing when a mutated rattlesnake slithers out of your phone and bites you on the neck! ...wait, there is a mutated rattlesnake, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: No, Mr. Burns. Rattlesnakes crawling through phone lines is considered impossible.
Mr. Burns: Damnation!
------Homer's work station------
*Everyone is laughing*
Nerd 1: Wow, I haven't had this much fun since...well, ever!
Nerd 2: This is what it must feel like to actually go first base with a girl!
Homer: Let's not get too excited there pal.
Nerd 3: Thanks for breaking the ice Mr. Simpson, but let's get started on our work then.
Homer: Work? But nerds, I mean, guys....we have just begun! We can't stop now. How about one more prank call. Hmmm? *hands phone to one of the nerds*
*Mr. Burns walks in*
Mr. Burns: So, you think you can all forget about your work and prank call people, including me, all day long? *points at security camera* Nice try, but I caught your every move!
Homer: huh? *looks up at camera* D'oh!
Mr. Burns: You three nerds are fired! *storms out of the room*
Smithers: What about Homer Simpson, he's the one who persuaded these men to stray away from their work?
Mr. Burns: Who?
Nerd 1: Thanks a lot Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 2: Let's go play Dungeons and Dragons back at my Grandma's house.
Nerd 3: You're not invited Mr. Simpson.
*all 3 nerds leave*
Homer: Oh, I ruined these nerds' life again!
Mr. Burns through the intercom: Back to work tubby!
Homer: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
---------Simpson's house----------
Homer: Oh Marge, this is the second time I ruined it for these nerds...and this time, I think they're really mad at me.
Marge: Aw Homie, maybe if you just apologize, they'll forgive you.
Lisa: Dad, first of all, quit calling them nerds and second of all, you should confess to Mr. Burns that it was you who refused to show them the ropes at work, not them.
Bart: Only a true nerd would say that.
Lisa: Takes one to know one, Bart!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's is making good come backs!
Marge: Would you two quiet! Now Homer, maybe you should take Lisa's advice.
Homer: Okay, I won't call them nerds anymore.
Marge: No, her other advice.
Homer: Alright Marge, but if I lose my job it's your own fault!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Okaay, okay. It won't be your fault, it will be Lisa's fault.
-------Outside of Mr. Burns' Office--------
Homer: Well, I guess it's time to tell Mr. Burns the truth. *hears Mr. Burns and Smithers* Huh?
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm telling you...push harder!
*Homer peeks in and sees Mr. Burns standing beside a file cabinet with a drawer opened at his waist and Smithers is bent over with his head behind the drawer which makes it look like the two are doing something naughty*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *runs*
Smithers: *looks up* What was that? *pushes the drawer closed*
Mr. Burns: *an outlet and cord plug in Smither's hands is shown* Oh pish posh, get back to trying to put that plug into the wall.
--------Back in Homer's work station-------
Homer: *tries to catch breath* Okay, okay, Homer, try to think of something else other than those two behind the file cabinet! *thought bubble above head shows donuts twirling* ahh.....(sigh of relief) Maybe telling Mr. Burns the truth right away isn't such a good idea. Let me go apologize to the nerds first.
*Homer walks past Burns' office to leave the plant*
Mr. Burns: It's not in all the way I tell ye!
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I get outta here! *runs*
------------Nerd's Grandma's House------------
*Homer rings doorbell*
Grandma: Yes dear?
Homer: I was wondering if Gary and the other guys can come out and play?
Grandma: Oh sure young man, there just playing Dungeons & Dragons in the den. Gary, there's someone here at the door for you!
*all the nerds come outside to see Homer*
Homer: I hope you guys aren't still mad at me for getting you fired.
Nerd 1: We're mad that we got fired Mr. Simpson, but we couldn't stay mad at you forever.
Homer: Does that mean we're still pals?
Nerd 2: Although Dungeons & Dragons took our minds off of what happened and eased our pain, we have come to the conclusion that seeing you isn't such a good idea.
*nerd 3 nods*
Homer: But I'm sorry! And I promise not to call you guys nerds anymore! I'll call you by your real names. Gary, um....., and you two.
Nerd 3: It's not about what you call us, it's that you let us down again, Mr. Simpson.
Nerd 1: Good bye, Mr. Simpson.
*Homer starts to walk away*
*Snake comes from nowhere and knocks on the door*
Nerd 1: What can I do for you?
Snake: Um...Cellphone inspector.
Nerd 1: *pulls out cellphone* Well, here's my new razor phone. Hope everything's in order...
Snake: Whoa! I can't believe that worked again! Bye! Ha-Haw! *runs*
Homer: *runs back* See, you guys need me!
Nerd 2: Well, I guess we do need you Mr. Simpson.
Homer: Call me Homer.
Nerd 2: Okay....Homer.
Homer: And since we're buds again, I'm gonna go straight to Mr. Burns and get your jobs back!
Nerd 3: No need Homer. We all got hired at the Shelbyville Plant, invented a new type of power there, caused the plant to gain billions of dollars, got paid in the millions, and now we play Dungeons and Dragons all day to pass the time.
Homer: *jaw drops* Whaaaaa?
Nerd 1: And it's all thanks to you!
Homer: So if I didn't make you...but if you didn't get fi-----D'OH!
Nerd 2: Don't take it too hard on yourself Homer. But did I mention that everyone at the Shelbyville plant got raises?
*Homer passes out*
----------------------
Awww...Crap, Another Clip Show
*Bart and Lisa Watching Itchy & Scratchy*
Lisa: Have you noticed that the show has decreased in hilarity over the years?
Bart: Meh...it has good episodes every once in a while.
Marge: *knitting on the couch* Over time, cartoons lose their luster as do people.
*Everyone looks at Grampa who's sitting in a recliner*
Grampa: Your Itchy and Mitchy filth didn't stand a chance from the beginning! Back in my day we didn't have a picture box to watch silly cartoons on. We'd all....*falls asleep*
Bart: In this kind of situation, I would say hey let's write our own episode for Itchy and Scratchy. But that kinda already happened.
Little Barbershop of Horrors cartoon is shown.
Marge: Why don't you two come up with your own cartoon?
Bart: It's already been done.
The Angry Dad Cartoon is shown.
Marge: How about you two listen to the radio for entertainment? That's what I did when I was a kid.
Bart: *puts KBBL on* I hope they do dialing at random!
From 'A Tale of Two Springfields' -
Marty: Okay, time to give away freeeee concert tickets.
[Bill pushes a button on console]
Gary Coleman: [sound bite] Whatchu talkin' about?
Marty: What we're talking about, Gary, is The Who.
Bill: We're giving away tickets to next week's concert at
Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena.
Homer: [gasps] The Who? I love bands!
Bill: And now, we'll dial our big winner at random.
[puts a sound-bite tape into the console]
Singers: Dialing at random.
Marty: Okay, let's start with 5-5-5-0-1-1, and 3!
[at home, Homer's anticipation mounts]
Homer: That's my number! Jumps near the phone, ready to
pick up.
Burns: [on radio] Ahoy, hoy!
Homer: Hey, that's not me.
Bart: Dad, we're not in their area code any more.
Bill: Congratulations, you're going to rendezvous with The
Who!
Homer: [smashes radio] It's not fair! I've been a fan of
The Who since the very beginning, when they were The
Hillbilly Bugger Boys.
Bart: You should call that radio station and let 'em have
it!
Homer: Good idea!
[dials the phone -- and gets the tri-tone again.
Bart laughs]
You little --!
[throttles Bart with the cord. Bart fights back by
hitting Homer repeatedly with the receiver. They
both eventually pass out on the floor]
Lisa: Or some other pointless contest!
From 'Bart Gets an Elephant'-
Marty: Let's try one more number.
Homer: Y'ello?
Bart: [grabs phone] KBBL is going to give me something stupid!
Marty: Well, hot dog! We have a weiner! [car alarm noise]
Homer: [grasping air] Y'ello?
Bart: I won, I won!
Marty: You win your choice of $10,000 or -- what's our gag prize this
week, Bill?
Bill: [raucous] A full-grown African Elephant! Bart: Well, all that money sounds mighty tempting, Marty, but I think I'm going to have to go with the elephant.
Homer: [to Marge, happily] He's taking the elephant instead of the money.
Marty: [whispering] The kid wants the elephant!
Bill: We don't have an damn elephant.
Marty: Don't whisper into the mike! Bill: Ahem, kid, the elephant's a gag prize. Nobody takes the gag
prize. [nervous laughter] You want the cash.
Bart: [indignant] I want the elephant!
Homer: Heh, heh, stick it to the man!
*Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are listening to the radio*
*Homer runs through the door in fear*
Homer: HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Grampa: *whimpers* Don't do that!
Marge: What's wrong Homer?
Homer: The mob's after me!
Lisa: What'd you do?
Marge: You didn't pretend to be Krusty again, did you?
From 'Homie the Clown'-
Legs: [gasps] I'm seeing double here: four Krustys!
Homer: Krusty! Oh thanks, thanks a lot. You came here to save me!
Krusty: [slowly] Yeah, that's what I did.
Vittorio: My apologies to you. I almost made a grievous error. [cocks
gun at Krusty] Goodbye, Krusty.
Krusty: Wait: he can't kill anybody if he doesn't know which one is
the real Krusty.
[grabs Homer by the head and plays the shell game with
himself and Homer]
Vittorio: I am confused.
Homer: Heh heh. Good one, Krusty.
[Vittorio cocks the gun at Krusty]
Krusty: Oh, crap.
*The two klowns jump across a gap
onto the bar; Homer's head plays "The Godfather" theme music on the wine
glasses that dangle from the roof. "Ah!" gasp the Italians. Krusty
sees that the part of the bar that lifts up so the bartender can get out
is raised. Thinking quickly, he knocks it closed with seltzer. The
Italians even applaud, but Vittorio moans, "Ah, but without the loop it
is nothing," cocking his gun again.
He's spoken too quickly -- Krusty and Homer fly off the bar, straight
towards the loop, and whizz around and around it many times. They fly
off together and skillfully land in the "Ta da!" pose; the miniature
bike flies towards them, and Krusty, although he opens his mouth to
catch it, is beaten to the punch by Homer, who swallows it and makes the
bell ring by opening his mouth.*
Homer: No....
*Gun shots*
Homer: Haaaa!
Bart: Then, what happened?!
Homer: I parked in Fat Tony's parking spot at the Try N Save!
*More Gun Shots*
Marge: Everyone, down in the basement!
--------The Basement---------
Homer: Aw..the basement. Our lone protection from the forces of evil and harm.
From 'Hurricane Neddy'-
*Marge and Lisa run from the front yard into the basement after coming home from the Kwik-E-Mart*
Homer: Okay, it's the standard Grampa drill. Everybody into the cellar!
Bart: Can't the mobsters just come into the house and then find us down here?
Lisa: Bart's right, they'll eventually f----
*Fat Tony and his mob buddies bust through the cellar door and head downstairs*
Fat Tony: *with a gun pointed at Homer* So, you think you can take my parking spot without asking, eh? Well I got knews for you....*puts gun up against Homer's head*
Marge: Wait, wait wait! If Homer apologizes, will you let him, and us, go?
Fat Tony: Homer? That name sounds familiar....
From 'The Twisted World of Marge Simpson'-
Tony: [clearing his throat] Greetings, Homer.
Homer: Hey! Fat Tony! You still with the mafia? [walks away]
Tony: Uh... Uh, yes, I am. [holds him back] Thank you for asking.
Now, Homer, as you no doubt recall, you were done a favor by our,
uh, how shall I say -- Mafia Crime Syndicate.
Homer: Oh, yeah...
Tony: Now the time has come for you to do us a favor.
Homer: [shocked] You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something
in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir!
From 'Mayored to the Mob'-
Homer: Yes! Nobody messes with the mayor when Homer Simpson's on
... oh, crap.
[notices Fat Tony, who is beating the mayor with a baseball
bat]
Homer: Oh, Fat Tony ...
Fat Tony: What? What did I do?
From 'Insane Clown Poppy'-
Homer: *singing owimoweh from "The Lion Sleeps Tonight*
Fat Tony: Don't do that.
Tony: Now I remember you! You have caused me trouble over the years...and now that will all end! *Starts to pull the trigger on the gun pointed at Homer's head*
Legs: Boss, look out!
*Moe comes flying in through the small basement window with the Fanman's propeller to save Homer once again*
Tony: Let's get outta here...that guy's gotta fan! *runs away with mobsters*
Homer: Thanks Moe! But where did you get that fan thing?
Moe: That's right, you don't remember....
From 'The Homer They Fall'-
Homer: [slurred] Are you an angel?
Moe: Yes, Homer. I'm an angel. All us angels wear farah slacks.
Homer: But you stopped the fight. Won't everyone be mad at you?
Moe: Eh, let 'em be mad. The only thing that matters to me is you're
safe.
[bumps Homer's head up a steel beam]
Homer: D'oh!
Moe: Sorry.
------Outside in the backyard--------
Marge: Oh Moe...you're all our heroes!
Moe: *whispers to Marge* Can I be your hero somewhere else?
Marge: No!
Moe: Well, it was worth a shot.
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Sislack...
Moe: What is is angel?
Lisa: You have a piece of dry wall stuck in the back of your head.
Moe: Yeah, it kinda got stuck there on the way in. How come they make basement windows so damn small?!
Homer: Wheeww! I need a drink. Moe, can you fly me over to the bar?
Moe: Sure thing Homer.
Marge: You left the bar all alone?
Moe: Well, hasn't been the first time.
From 'The New Kid on the Block'-
Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? *Gasps* Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray! *drinks it*
Moe: Barney! I better get back to the bar fast!
Homer: Let's roll!
*Moe and Homer start to fly*
Homer: *hits head on tree branch* D'oh!
Moe: Sorry...again.
*Homer and Moe fly into the sunset together*
-----------End--------------