Jimbo77
07-25-2006, 06:23 AM
Its not the best and it definatly needs work (its only 8 mins. long) but tell me what you think, the parenthesses mean actions and the background and the brackets mean the locations
Nibbles & Bits
(No chalk board)
(The couch gag: each flip and land on couch and land perfectly except Homer)
[In the Android Dungeon]
(Cash register sound)
Comic Book Guy: Thank you
(Kid leaves) (Kid in back of the store) (Kid spitting on comic)
Kid Spitting: Wowch whatshh thissh mista?
(Comic book guy taking comic away from the kid)
Comic Book Guy: Ugh that’s Itchy & Scratchy collector’s edition hello
(Kid leaves) (Comic Book Guy sighs)
Comic Book Guy: It’s the same thing everyday, no groaning, give that back, don’t put that up your nose. (Sighs again)
(Comic Book Guy tries to get up from his chair but struggles then tries again and gets up) (Comic Book Guy goes outside)
[Outside/Afternoon]
(Looks up at sky) (Then a barking little dog comes and sniffs him)
Owner of Dog: Come now Fifi!
(Comic Book Guy is thinking) (While he is thinking the owner of Fifi is yelling at her)
Comic Book Guy: I know what I’ll do, I’ll make The Animal Den
(Comic Book Guy gets a ladder and paint and goes to paint over “Android Dungeon”) (Comic Book Guy bends over to paint) (Pants/underwear rip)
Comic Book Guy: Oh Dear!
(Lady walks by and sees it and faints, a kid riding a bike looks at it and runs into a mailbox)
[At the playground of the school]
(Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearny are bullying Bart)
Kearny: Why don’t you fight us, SIMPSON!
Bart: Sorry, I’m not allow to fight girls
(Jimbo laughs, then realizes) Jimbo: Hey! Get him!
(Bart jumps on skateboard) (Rides on sidewalk) (Bart looks back)
Bart: Good, I lost them!
(Quickly turns around and hits into a sign) (Falls to the ground) (Everything is spinning and he looks up and sees “The Animal Den” instead of “The Android Dungeon) (Bart screams and runs to his house)
[At the dinner table]
Bart: You guys aren’t going to believe this but the Comic Book store is now a Pet Store
(Family gasps)
Lisa: Wow, Comic Book Guy has changed his life around completely
[Outside the Animal Den]
(A truck is pulled up and is hauling animals in cages)
(Delivery Man checking off on a clipboard)
Delivery Man: Dogs, cats, guinea pigs, ferrets, birds, frogs, squirrels, Opera dog, sna...
Comic Book Guy: What’s an Opera dog?
(Delivery Man turns cage around) (Dog in the cage clears his throat)
Opera Dog: Fidaro, Fidar-O, Fid a ro, Fid a ro, Fid a ro, FID A RO, FIDARO!
[At Simpson’s house]
Lisa: Dad, will you take me to the pet store to get a guinea pig
Homer: No!
Lisa: I’m sorry dad but, you owe me something since you forgot to get me my reed from King Toot’s.
Homer: Doh’!
[Outside the Animal Den]
(Homer and Lisa get out of the car) (Homer goes up to King Toot’s) (Homer shaking his fist)
Homer: Damn you!
Lisa: Stop cursing at the store
[In the Animal Den]
(Walking down the aisles)
Lisa: I would like to keep its name that it was given as a baby
(Lisa looking at the name tags on the cage)
Lisa: Pouches, Ham & Cheese, Fatty, Nibbles, well I guess Nibbles is the most normal name here, so I’ll get him.
[Outside the Animal Den]
(Homer is holding Nibbles) (Nibbles bites him)
Homer: Why you little…
(Lisa takes Nibbles)
Lisa: No dad he’s much smaller than you
(Lisa put Nibbles on her shoulder and walks in front of Homer)
(Nibbles looks back at Homer with a menacing look) (Homer gives a menacing look back and growls at him)
[In a bathroom at the Simpsons’ house/ Morning]
(Homer is shaving and humming) (Opens up mirror door and puts razor in and shuts the mirror door) (Nibbles is in the mirror) (Homer turns around)
Homer: Where are you? Come out, you cannot hide forever.
(In red vision targeting with computerized voice)
Computerized Voice: Searching target.
(Squeaking noise) (Nibbles is on the shower curtain bar) (Homer jumps for Nibbles but Nibbles jumps away and runs out of bathroom) (Homer runs to Lisa’s room)
Homer: Where is that rat?
Lisa: Guinea Pig and why?
(Homer tries to say a lie) Homer: I’m going to gently strangle him heh heh….. Doh’!
Lisa: Dad it was probably an accident.
(Homer grunts and walks away)
(Homer in the hallway, mumbling to himself)
Homer: Stupid Lisa had to take that guinea pig not one of those pit bulls or rottweilers a guinea pig, argh, I need to get rid of it somehow, think Homer think.
[In Homer’s mind]
(It’s all white except a Homer)
Homer in mind: Whoa don’t blame this on me buddy you are on your own.
(Homer walks away)
[Hallway]
Homer: Argh stupid brain what do you know, wait I got it!
[Lisa’s Room]
Homer: Lisa, may I please see the guinea pig.
Lisa: No
Homer: Doh’!
(Homer walks up to Nibbles)
Homer: You may have won this time but I’ll be back, oh yes I’ll be back!
(Nibbles squeaks and is gesturing with his paws) (In subtitles “Bring it on!”)
[Itchy & Scratchy Show]
(Theme song for Itchy & Scratchy) (Episode Title: “A Mouse named Itchy”)
(In a Pet store) (Scratchy points at a mouse) (Worker goes and gets it and gives it to Scratchy) (At Scratchy’s house) (Scratchy hugs Itchy) (Itchy chokes him) (Itchy jumps off and grabs a chair and hits Scratchy with it) (Jumps on scratchy and breaks his neck) (Crack noise) (Itchy turns towards camera and waves) (Scratchy get up with his neck bended and he waves too) (Itchy jumps on scratchy and bends him so he spells a “T” then a “H”, an “E”, “E”, “N”, and a “D”.
[The Krusty the Klown Show]
Krusty: And now a few words from our sponsors!
[Commercial]
(A green screen with the rating on it says “NCB/ No Cry Babies Allowed) (Under the green screen it says in white letters Animal Violence, One frightening milking scene) (A cow is holding its hooves a blue grass is on one hand and red grass is on the other) (The other cow grabs the red grass and eats it) (The screen flashes) (The cow jumps back with a gun and shoots all these farmers running towards him) (Green numbers drop from the top of the screen, like “The Matrix”) (The green letters fade in and say The Mootrix: The Milky Way)
[New Commercial]
(Like Star Wars a scene far away with meteors and ships shooting at each other with red and green lasers) (Then a ship flies right over screen and you hear the classic flying sound) (The ship runs through all the lasers and shoots down a few well doing it) (And races to the Animal Den) (Gets out of the ship, and goes inside the Animal Den) (Then comes out with a little cat and runs to the ship) (Gets in the ship and flies away) (In the ship the pilot is petting the cat saying “good kitty”) (The Animal Den comes up in red and orange colors)
[In Animal Den]
(Comic Book Guy was watching it on a small TV)
Comic Book Guy: The Animal Den’s business is clearly booming.
(A man in black enters the store)
Man in Black: This business is clearly not booming. We are shutting it down.
Comic Book Guy: No!
Man in Black: Yes!
(Man in Black exits the store)
[Newspaper]
(Newspaper spins up to screen and says “Animal Den shut down but a fat nerd buys plot”)
[At the Simpson’s house]
(The family is sitting at the dinner table)
Homer: We are getting rid of the squirrel
Lisa: Guinea Pig and you can’t
Homer: Why the hell not
(Lisa throws the newspaper in the center of the table)
(Homer gasps)
Homer: THERE’S a hotdog eating contest
Lisa: No, dad next page
Homer: Aww I want to do the hot dog contest
(Homer reads it) (A chill goes through the room) (Homer looks outside and a UFO is outside) (They walk outside and Nibbles follows them) (Then Nibbles walks in front of them and stands on his hind legs and turns to the Simpsons)
Nibbles: Fare Well!
(A green light sucked him up to the UFO) (The UFO flies away)
[End credits (the music like haunted music)]
ps: plz dont come and just say it sucks give me some advice to make it better
Nibbles & Bits
(No chalk board)
(The couch gag: each flip and land on couch and land perfectly except Homer)
[In the Android Dungeon]
(Cash register sound)
Comic Book Guy: Thank you
(Kid leaves) (Kid in back of the store) (Kid spitting on comic)
Kid Spitting: Wowch whatshh thissh mista?
(Comic book guy taking comic away from the kid)
Comic Book Guy: Ugh that’s Itchy & Scratchy collector’s edition hello
(Kid leaves) (Comic Book Guy sighs)
Comic Book Guy: It’s the same thing everyday, no groaning, give that back, don’t put that up your nose. (Sighs again)
(Comic Book Guy tries to get up from his chair but struggles then tries again and gets up) (Comic Book Guy goes outside)
[Outside/Afternoon]
(Looks up at sky) (Then a barking little dog comes and sniffs him)
Owner of Dog: Come now Fifi!
(Comic Book Guy is thinking) (While he is thinking the owner of Fifi is yelling at her)
Comic Book Guy: I know what I’ll do, I’ll make The Animal Den
(Comic Book Guy gets a ladder and paint and goes to paint over “Android Dungeon”) (Comic Book Guy bends over to paint) (Pants/underwear rip)
Comic Book Guy: Oh Dear!
(Lady walks by and sees it and faints, a kid riding a bike looks at it and runs into a mailbox)
[At the playground of the school]
(Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearny are bullying Bart)
Kearny: Why don’t you fight us, SIMPSON!
Bart: Sorry, I’m not allow to fight girls
(Jimbo laughs, then realizes) Jimbo: Hey! Get him!
(Bart jumps on skateboard) (Rides on sidewalk) (Bart looks back)
Bart: Good, I lost them!
(Quickly turns around and hits into a sign) (Falls to the ground) (Everything is spinning and he looks up and sees “The Animal Den” instead of “The Android Dungeon) (Bart screams and runs to his house)
[At the dinner table]
Bart: You guys aren’t going to believe this but the Comic Book store is now a Pet Store
(Family gasps)
Lisa: Wow, Comic Book Guy has changed his life around completely
[Outside the Animal Den]
(A truck is pulled up and is hauling animals in cages)
(Delivery Man checking off on a clipboard)
Delivery Man: Dogs, cats, guinea pigs, ferrets, birds, frogs, squirrels, Opera dog, sna...
Comic Book Guy: What’s an Opera dog?
(Delivery Man turns cage around) (Dog in the cage clears his throat)
Opera Dog: Fidaro, Fidar-O, Fid a ro, Fid a ro, Fid a ro, FID A RO, FIDARO!
[At Simpson’s house]
Lisa: Dad, will you take me to the pet store to get a guinea pig
Homer: No!
Lisa: I’m sorry dad but, you owe me something since you forgot to get me my reed from King Toot’s.
Homer: Doh’!
[Outside the Animal Den]
(Homer and Lisa get out of the car) (Homer goes up to King Toot’s) (Homer shaking his fist)
Homer: Damn you!
Lisa: Stop cursing at the store
[In the Animal Den]
(Walking down the aisles)
Lisa: I would like to keep its name that it was given as a baby
(Lisa looking at the name tags on the cage)
Lisa: Pouches, Ham & Cheese, Fatty, Nibbles, well I guess Nibbles is the most normal name here, so I’ll get him.
[Outside the Animal Den]
(Homer is holding Nibbles) (Nibbles bites him)
Homer: Why you little…
(Lisa takes Nibbles)
Lisa: No dad he’s much smaller than you
(Lisa put Nibbles on her shoulder and walks in front of Homer)
(Nibbles looks back at Homer with a menacing look) (Homer gives a menacing look back and growls at him)
[In a bathroom at the Simpsons’ house/ Morning]
(Homer is shaving and humming) (Opens up mirror door and puts razor in and shuts the mirror door) (Nibbles is in the mirror) (Homer turns around)
Homer: Where are you? Come out, you cannot hide forever.
(In red vision targeting with computerized voice)
Computerized Voice: Searching target.
(Squeaking noise) (Nibbles is on the shower curtain bar) (Homer jumps for Nibbles but Nibbles jumps away and runs out of bathroom) (Homer runs to Lisa’s room)
Homer: Where is that rat?
Lisa: Guinea Pig and why?
(Homer tries to say a lie) Homer: I’m going to gently strangle him heh heh….. Doh’!
Lisa: Dad it was probably an accident.
(Homer grunts and walks away)
(Homer in the hallway, mumbling to himself)
Homer: Stupid Lisa had to take that guinea pig not one of those pit bulls or rottweilers a guinea pig, argh, I need to get rid of it somehow, think Homer think.
[In Homer’s mind]
(It’s all white except a Homer)
Homer in mind: Whoa don’t blame this on me buddy you are on your own.
(Homer walks away)
[Hallway]
Homer: Argh stupid brain what do you know, wait I got it!
[Lisa’s Room]
Homer: Lisa, may I please see the guinea pig.
Lisa: No
Homer: Doh’!
(Homer walks up to Nibbles)
Homer: You may have won this time but I’ll be back, oh yes I’ll be back!
(Nibbles squeaks and is gesturing with his paws) (In subtitles “Bring it on!”)
[Itchy & Scratchy Show]
(Theme song for Itchy & Scratchy) (Episode Title: “A Mouse named Itchy”)
(In a Pet store) (Scratchy points at a mouse) (Worker goes and gets it and gives it to Scratchy) (At Scratchy’s house) (Scratchy hugs Itchy) (Itchy chokes him) (Itchy jumps off and grabs a chair and hits Scratchy with it) (Jumps on scratchy and breaks his neck) (Crack noise) (Itchy turns towards camera and waves) (Scratchy get up with his neck bended and he waves too) (Itchy jumps on scratchy and bends him so he spells a “T” then a “H”, an “E”, “E”, “N”, and a “D”.
[The Krusty the Klown Show]
Krusty: And now a few words from our sponsors!
[Commercial]
(A green screen with the rating on it says “NCB/ No Cry Babies Allowed) (Under the green screen it says in white letters Animal Violence, One frightening milking scene) (A cow is holding its hooves a blue grass is on one hand and red grass is on the other) (The other cow grabs the red grass and eats it) (The screen flashes) (The cow jumps back with a gun and shoots all these farmers running towards him) (Green numbers drop from the top of the screen, like “The Matrix”) (The green letters fade in and say The Mootrix: The Milky Way)
[New Commercial]
(Like Star Wars a scene far away with meteors and ships shooting at each other with red and green lasers) (Then a ship flies right over screen and you hear the classic flying sound) (The ship runs through all the lasers and shoots down a few well doing it) (And races to the Animal Den) (Gets out of the ship, and goes inside the Animal Den) (Then comes out with a little cat and runs to the ship) (Gets in the ship and flies away) (In the ship the pilot is petting the cat saying “good kitty”) (The Animal Den comes up in red and orange colors)
[In Animal Den]
(Comic Book Guy was watching it on a small TV)
Comic Book Guy: The Animal Den’s business is clearly booming.
(A man in black enters the store)
Man in Black: This business is clearly not booming. We are shutting it down.
Comic Book Guy: No!
Man in Black: Yes!
(Man in Black exits the store)
[Newspaper]
(Newspaper spins up to screen and says “Animal Den shut down but a fat nerd buys plot”)
[At the Simpson’s house]
(The family is sitting at the dinner table)
Homer: We are getting rid of the squirrel
Lisa: Guinea Pig and you can’t
Homer: Why the hell not
(Lisa throws the newspaper in the center of the table)
(Homer gasps)
Homer: THERE’S a hotdog eating contest
Lisa: No, dad next page
Homer: Aww I want to do the hot dog contest
(Homer reads it) (A chill goes through the room) (Homer looks outside and a UFO is outside) (They walk outside and Nibbles follows them) (Then Nibbles walks in front of them and stands on his hind legs and turns to the Simpsons)
Nibbles: Fare Well!
(A green light sucked him up to the UFO) (The UFO flies away)
[End credits (the music like haunted music)]
ps: plz dont come and just say it sucks give me some advice to make it better