In this thread we talk with Simpsons lines only!

[I Love Lisa]

I saw this on another forum, but with Monty Python, but the principles the same.
The rules are

Only one line per post.
They must make some sort of sense.
Two consecutive posts can't be from the same section, else it'll just become a line by line thread.

And that's pretty much it.

[D DEBBS]

Homer and Bart walk in on Lisa:

HOMER & BART: (Forming a conga line; singing) You can't win friends with salad...you can't win friends with salad...you can't win friends with salad-

[Reverend Lovejoy]

See you in hell... from heaven!

[D DEBBS]

DEVIL: And don't forget to listen to heavy metal music!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homer: "40 seconds, but I want it now"

[D DEBBS]

HOMER: 5 days to wait for a gun? But I want it NOW!

[I Love Lisa]

There must be a solution that pleases everyone, from duck's and bee's, to you's and me's.

[D DEBBS]

RALPH: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

[Sniper Squirrel]

Lenny "Assault weapons are manufactured for a reason, to take out today's modern super animals, such as the flying squirrel and the electric eel"

[I Love Lisa]

I didn't know Mr. Burns had an electric eel pond.

[D DEBBS]

BURNS: SMITHERS! Release the robotic Richard Simmons!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homer: "You'd have to be pretty desperate to make it with a robot"

[Wasteland]

"WHY, WHY, WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN!!!!!"

[I Love Lisa]

Ow! So this is that pain thing!

[TriforceBun]

...Dying tickles!

[Where's Poochie?]

You're what we call in Latin: a dorkus malorcus. (that was directed to everyone)

[D DEBBS]

I have been accepted to participate in the Grammar Rodeo in Canada!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homer: Why do we want to leave America to visit America junior?

[Where's Poochie?]

^Lisa: Fuck, get fucked. (Homer the Heritic)

[Sniper Squirrel]

Brockman: And this reporter thinks it's about fucking time

[D DEBBS]

BROCKMAN: Yes...it's going to be golden showers for everybody!

[Where's Poochie?]

You bleeping bleepers.

[I Love Lisa]

Oh, nutty fudgekins

[Where's Poochie?]

This truely is a disturbing universe...

[I Love Lisa]

Wow, the universe is so boring.

[D DEBBS]

ASTRONAUT HOMER: (Singing) Oh, those Golden Grahams, oh, those Golden Grahams, crispy, crunchy, breakfast cereal, oh, so, sweet...

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homer's Mom: "Oo-ee, gooey, rich and chewy inside.
Golden, flaky, tender cakey outside.
Wrap the inside in the outside -- Is it good? Darn Tootin'!
Doin' the Big FIG NEWTON (here's the tricky part)"

[D DEBBS]

Hot Dogs!
Amour Hot Dogs!
What kind of kid likes Amour Hot Dogs?

Fat kids! Skinny kids!
Kids who climb on rocks!

Tough kids! Sissy kids!
Even kids with chicken pox!

Loves hot dogs!
Amour Hot Dogs!

The dogs kids love to bite!

[Sniper Squirrel]

"2 All Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions on a Sesame Seed Bun"

[I Love Lisa]

The kind of flavours they enjoy in Alberqurque!

[tarflyonthewall]

Lisa: You don't know what they do there, do you?

Homer: Not as such, no.

[Tonguebathing101]

Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?

[Wasteland]

"I FEEL LIKE CHICKEN TONITE, LIKE CHICKEN TONITE..."

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Turkeys, the only animal smarter than man"

[D DEBBS]

"Is my brother smarter than a hamster?"

[Sniper Squirrel]

and these are smarter than the average bear, they swiped my picanic basket

[D DEBBS]

HOMER: Simp-son, Ho-mar Simp-son, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-ree! From the...town of Spring-field...he's about to hit a chestnut tree! D'OH!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Mrs. Hoover: "Ralph, remember when you told me Snagglepus was outside"

[D DEBBS]

RALPH: Sleeping! That's where I'm a Viking!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Krusty: If you're idea of a first date is burning down her village, you just might be, a Viking

[Homer^3]

Ralph: "They taste like...burning!"

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homer: No I tried to look into my ears, so I lit a Q-tip

[D DEBBS]

HOMER: Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Nothing beats the Hobo life, like stabbing folks with my Hobo knife"

[D DEBBS]

"I don't need anything as long as I have my mansion, my rocket car and my millions of dollars"-Chester J. Lampwick

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Eternal happiness for one dolloar....I think I'd be happier with the dollar"

[D DEBBS]

Send your one dollar to 'Happy Dude!'

[I Love Lisa]

As intelligence goes up happiness goes down. See I made a graph! I make lots of graphs...

[Wasteland]

Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it.

[D DEBBS]

It's Alf...in pog form!

[Wasteland]

He told me to burn things!

[I Love Lisa]

When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn, something, something, then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe.

[Sniper Squirrel]

Water, water, everywhere, so let's all have a drink

[D DEBBS]

To alcohol: the cause and solution to everyone's problems!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Ah, Rex Morgan MD, you have the perscription for the daily blues

[D DEBBS]

Here...have a woll-wee-pop!

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Be creative, instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, instead of using bread, use pop tarts"

[Wasteland]

"Heh, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?"

[D DEBBS]

BART: (To Homer) You're going back to school? Barber or clown?

[I Love Lisa]

Thats it! I'm going to clown college!

[Sniper Squirrel]

A religious clown thing, yes

[Capt_Planet]

"what if were worshiping the worng relogion, we'll just be making god madder and madder."

[D DEBBS]

"Save me, Jeebus!"

[I Love Lisa]

"Don't worry boys, the lord wouldn't let us die this way."

[D DEBBS]

"Lies made Baby Jesus cry."

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Ralph, Jesus didn't have wheels"

[D DEBBS]

"GO BANANA!"

[Sniper Squirrel]

"Eat around the banana, it's just empty vitamin"

[D DEBBS]

"Eat...grow large with food."

[Sniper Squirrel]

40 seconds, but I want it now

[D DEBBS]

"WHERE'S MY BURRITO?" "WHERE'S MY BURRITO?" "WHERE'S MY BURRITO?"

[Sniper Squirrel]

"I sure could go for a hundred tacos right about now"

[D DEBBS]

"Mmmm...sac-delicious."

[Serena]

"see you in hell dinner plate."

[D DEBBS]

DEVIL: (To Bart) And don't forget to listen to heavy metal music!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Becky: "He refers to our love making as headbanger's ball"

[42 Is The Answer]

Marge: I hope the kids didn't hear us!
(Show Bart, Lisa and Flanders lying awake)
Flanders: Wow...

[D DEBBS]

No, Homer, I do NOT want to be called 'Hootie Mc Boob!'

[Sniper Squirrel]

Lenny: "Can I push this plaster cast on one of your boobs?"

[D DEBBS]

"The dank, Moe...the DANK!"

[Sniper Squirrel]

"This isn't faux dive, this is a dive"

[D DEBBS]

"Can we have a pool, Dad...Can we have a pool, Dad...Can we have a pool, Dad..."

[<hoagie>]

(hollywood producers filming Radioactive Man, painting a horse to resemble a cow)
Lisa: Why are you painting black spots on that horse?
Set Worker: On film cows do not look like cows, so we use horses.
Lisa: So what do you do if you need a horse.
Set Worker: Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.

[D DEBBS]

"Springfield Dog Track...Think Of Them As Little Horses."

[Sniper Squirrel]

"So thet's what's wrong with him, he misses casual sex"

[D DEBBS]

"Set your phasers to STUN!"

[gangman]

homer:Oh thats bull**** man!

[D DEBBS]

"Cursive? Well, I know Hell and damn and..."

[Sniper Squirrel]

"We'll live like kings, damn, hell, ass kings"

[D DEBBS]

"OW! My freakin' eyes!"

[Sniper Squirrel]

"My eyes, the goggles do nothing"

[D DEBBS]

"Beer goggles...look at the world through the eyes of a drunk."

[I Love Lisa]

This is a rather shameless promotion.

[Sniper Squirrel]

I love that little shill

[D DEBBS]

RALPH: I LOVE Lisa Simpson and someday I'm gonna marry her!

[I Love Lisa]

I suppose I could always skip college and marry Milhouse.

[D DEBBS]

"We're living in the age of cooties, Milhouse...be careful."

[Sniper Squirrel]

"It's called lice and it's nothing to be ashamed of"

[D DEBBS]

"If I know my Heloise, the solution is...mayonnaise! Or, is it peanut butter?"

[The Real Brian McGee]

Ohh... I wanted a peanut...

[D DEBBS]

"Homer, you just said you wanted rack and peanut steering."

[I Love Lisa]

I'll give you... one.

[D DEBBS]

"I'll Kwaanza you!"

[Illbeinmyroom]

Aw, nuts. I mean... aw, nuts.

[D DEBBS]

Wait a minute...with $, you can buy LOTS of peanuts!

[The Real Brian McGee]

Wait thats not the wallet inspector...

[D DEBBS]

Got your nose!

Got your wallet!

[Sniper Squirrel]

My uncle still has my nose

[The Real Brian McGee]

My automobile!
(The city of NY vs Homer simpson)

[D DEBBS]

To the Bee Mobile!

[Sniper Squirrel]

"It says let's Bee friends and there's a Bee on it"

[D DEBBS]

I'm allergic to bee stings, Sir. They cause me to, uh...die.

[Sniper Squirrel]

"That there's the Queen bee, her name is Smithers"

[D DEBBS]

Or you'll do what, you'll releash the hounds with bees?

[Sniper Squirrel]

Perhaps I have something I can scald you with

[moneychair2003]

mmmmmmmmmmm.....something

[D DEBBS]

Mmmmmm....invisible cola.

[Sniper Squirrel]

Tell you what, if we come back and they're all slaughtered, I owe you a coke

[D DEBBS]

Oh, the poor animals!

Lisa, they attacked us first!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Why does it sound like a lamb?

[D DEBBS]

Lisa...don't eat meeee....I thought you loved meee...loved meee!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids, eat them

[4 Alarm Chilli]

wait till he see's what I've done in his bird bath!

[D DEBBS]

Seymour! It's my turn to use the bathroom pillow!

[Rest your giant head]

Mother,I can see your...figure.

[D DEBBS]

WOW! Get a load of those bazongas!

[aιэjаηdяа]

....D'oh! :-O

[D DEBBS]

That's right...you're in deep d'oh now!

[I Love Lisa]

That's why I never listen to my brain.

[D DEBBS]

BRAINS....BRAINS!!!

[I Love Lisa]

Kids, to enter this weeks sweepstakes, send us your parents brains!

[D DEBBS]

Can we go to Mt. Splashmore...can we go to Mt. Sphashmore...can we go to Mt. Splashmore...can we go to Mt. Splashmore...can we go to Mt. Splashmore

[I Love Lisa]

The Simpsons are going to Antarctica!

[Old Man Simpson]

HERE WE GO AGAIN! (again)

[D DEBBS]

I'm haulin' ass all the way to lollapalooza!