Jake
07-12-2006, 07:33 PM
Boredom! Anyway, here's a fanscript idea I've had for the normal series:
"Don't Touch that Smile"
O.S.: The Simpsons car. The family wagon pulls into Krustyburger. Everyone simultainously gets out of the car.
LISA: (points at the Handicapped sign) Dad! You parked in the handicapped space, again!
HOMER: Lisa, that's not a guy in wheelchair, that's a man with a really, really fat-ass. A man like me!
BART: (giggles) Dad, admitting there's a problem is the first step--
HOMER growls and reaches over to choke BART
BART: (barely able to speak) Homer...I...need...this...throat...to swallow...'ach'...
CUT TO INSIDE AT A BOOTH. The family is finishing up breakfast and the dining is complete with a 'slurrrrp' from Lisa's juice.
HOMER: ...and so Lenny was given KP duty during Operation Deserst Storm because he kept wanting to clean the Drill Sargent's weapon.
THE SCRATCH VOICED TEENAGED GUY comes to the table carrying a small plate.
SVTG: Ahh, hello family, I just wanted to give you these new after breakfast fortune cookies, compliments of our new Chinese owners.
BART: Chinese owners? What the hell happened to Krusty?
CUT TO KRUSTY, SMOKING A CIGAR, IN A HOT TUB WITH TWO CHINESE MODELS AT HIS MANSION.
KRUSTY: You two ladies are the greatest trade I've ever made for one of my ailing businesses. God Bless your country's lack of civil laws.
CHINESE LADY 1: Mr. Krusty, you should also know that part of the small print in our deal says our 10 brothers, who are part of the Chinese Mafia, also come with the deal and they hate the West.
KRUSTY LOOKS UP AND SEES THE BROTHERS CRACKING THEIR KNUCKLES AS KRUSTY SLOWLY TAKES HIS ARMS OFF THE WOMEN'S SHOULDERS. HE THEN LETS OUT A GROAN OF DISSAPOINTMENT.
BACK AT THE KRUSTY BURGER, HOMER CRACKS OPEN A COOKIE
HOMER: (reading) "Love, Life and Honor will soon become yours." What!? No mention of a 'fortune'? 'sigh'...Oh, well, at least I still have this cookie...
HOMER TOSSES HALF OF THE COOKIE INTO HIS MOUTH AND TAKES A BITE, BUT THEN HE SUDDENLY LETS OUT A HOWL OF PAIN
SVTG: Sorry, sir. Ahh, would you like me to give the manager's home phone number.
HOMER: Maybe, but--
FLANDERS COMES IN AND GETS IN THE SVTGs FACE
NED: How dare you offer me these Satan-filled cookies! What's next? Divination straws for the boys's soda pop!?
CUT TO THE WAGON WITH HOMER IN THE PASSENGER SEAT
MARGE: Homer, I think you need to see a dentist, and--
HOMER: You're right, Dr. Hibber it is!
MARGE: Dr. Hibbert isn't a dentist, Homer. In fact, Homer, I can't remember the last time you did go to a dentist.
HOMER: I went last month...
MARGE: That was to drop off the kids!
BART: And he forgot to pick us up, too!
HOMER: Bart!
MARGE: Now, Homer, I know you have a phobia with new doctors, but not all doctors are as you said: "evil Jesus wannabes!". I think you should go find a dentist a.s.a.p.
CUT TO A CLOSE UP OF HOMER AS WORRIED LOOK COMES ACROSS HIS FACE.
LATER THAT NIGHT IN BED, MARGE IS SNUGGLING UP TO HOMER AND SHE PULLS BACK AFTER A LONG KISS
MARGE: So, Homie-Bear, I think it was a wonderful idea to make love to that R. Kelly CD. I just love chocolate!
MARGE LEANS OVER TO HUG HOMER AND HEARS HIS STOMACH GROWL
MARGE: Homer, didn't you eat anything tonight?
HOMER: No...my tooth hurt too much.
TBC...
"Don't Touch that Smile"
O.S.: The Simpsons car. The family wagon pulls into Krustyburger. Everyone simultainously gets out of the car.
LISA: (points at the Handicapped sign) Dad! You parked in the handicapped space, again!
HOMER: Lisa, that's not a guy in wheelchair, that's a man with a really, really fat-ass. A man like me!
BART: (giggles) Dad, admitting there's a problem is the first step--
HOMER growls and reaches over to choke BART
BART: (barely able to speak) Homer...I...need...this...throat...to swallow...'ach'...
CUT TO INSIDE AT A BOOTH. The family is finishing up breakfast and the dining is complete with a 'slurrrrp' from Lisa's juice.
HOMER: ...and so Lenny was given KP duty during Operation Deserst Storm because he kept wanting to clean the Drill Sargent's weapon.
THE SCRATCH VOICED TEENAGED GUY comes to the table carrying a small plate.
SVTG: Ahh, hello family, I just wanted to give you these new after breakfast fortune cookies, compliments of our new Chinese owners.
BART: Chinese owners? What the hell happened to Krusty?
CUT TO KRUSTY, SMOKING A CIGAR, IN A HOT TUB WITH TWO CHINESE MODELS AT HIS MANSION.
KRUSTY: You two ladies are the greatest trade I've ever made for one of my ailing businesses. God Bless your country's lack of civil laws.
CHINESE LADY 1: Mr. Krusty, you should also know that part of the small print in our deal says our 10 brothers, who are part of the Chinese Mafia, also come with the deal and they hate the West.
KRUSTY LOOKS UP AND SEES THE BROTHERS CRACKING THEIR KNUCKLES AS KRUSTY SLOWLY TAKES HIS ARMS OFF THE WOMEN'S SHOULDERS. HE THEN LETS OUT A GROAN OF DISSAPOINTMENT.
BACK AT THE KRUSTY BURGER, HOMER CRACKS OPEN A COOKIE
HOMER: (reading) "Love, Life and Honor will soon become yours." What!? No mention of a 'fortune'? 'sigh'...Oh, well, at least I still have this cookie...
HOMER TOSSES HALF OF THE COOKIE INTO HIS MOUTH AND TAKES A BITE, BUT THEN HE SUDDENLY LETS OUT A HOWL OF PAIN
SVTG: Sorry, sir. Ahh, would you like me to give the manager's home phone number.
HOMER: Maybe, but--
FLANDERS COMES IN AND GETS IN THE SVTGs FACE
NED: How dare you offer me these Satan-filled cookies! What's next? Divination straws for the boys's soda pop!?
CUT TO THE WAGON WITH HOMER IN THE PASSENGER SEAT
MARGE: Homer, I think you need to see a dentist, and--
HOMER: You're right, Dr. Hibber it is!
MARGE: Dr. Hibbert isn't a dentist, Homer. In fact, Homer, I can't remember the last time you did go to a dentist.
HOMER: I went last month...
MARGE: That was to drop off the kids!
BART: And he forgot to pick us up, too!
HOMER: Bart!
MARGE: Now, Homer, I know you have a phobia with new doctors, but not all doctors are as you said: "evil Jesus wannabes!". I think you should go find a dentist a.s.a.p.
CUT TO A CLOSE UP OF HOMER AS WORRIED LOOK COMES ACROSS HIS FACE.
LATER THAT NIGHT IN BED, MARGE IS SNUGGLING UP TO HOMER AND SHE PULLS BACK AFTER A LONG KISS
MARGE: So, Homie-Bear, I think it was a wonderful idea to make love to that R. Kelly CD. I just love chocolate!
MARGE LEANS OVER TO HUG HOMER AND HEARS HIS STOMACH GROWL
MARGE: Homer, didn't you eat anything tonight?
HOMER: No...my tooth hurt too much.
TBC...