"What If" game

[Lisa's First Word]

Just like the title when I ask y'all questions starting "What If....?" you guys answer and start another "What If...?" question.



"What if Al Gore became the president in 2000?"

[Talking Pie]

Then Michael Moore wouldn't have made Farenheit 9/11.

"What if Tom Cruise didn't go fucking beserk in the past year?"

[Semaj]

There would've been a lesser chance of Issac Hayes quitting South Park.

"What if John Ritter hadn't died in 2003?"

[CMQ]

Nobody would care.

What if The Simpsons were cancelled after 2 seasons.

[Wasteland]

We would be watching something else.

What if I shoved my foot up your ass?

[CMQ]

My ass would hurt.

What if Curtis became a mod?

[Semaj]

Mankind would take a step forward.

"What if there was a way to colonize Mars?"

[Wasteland]

The Martians will tax the hell out of us in property taxes.

What if Semaj was to down a bottle of JD?

[Talking Pie]

Then his drawings would be even more pornographic.

What if Clarence made a useful Noiseland thread?

[Wasteland]

At that exact moment, it will be revealed that Curtis can shit gold.

What if Talking Pie was really George W. Bush?

[Talking Pie]

Then I would be taking way too many vacations and become a horrible president.

What if reality tv hadn't been so big this decade?

[garret]

I wouldn't have almost completely stopped watching tv.

What if Curtis and Necromancer had a sitcom?

[Semaj]

It would give us a reason to watch NBC.

What if human beings were able to fly?

[Talking Pie]

Then I wouldn't complain about never being in a state that DOESN'T border California.

What if Paul McCartney and Heather Mills didn't split up?

[D DEBBS]

^
His children wouldn't be bitching about Heather according to the tabloids!
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What if EVERYONE had happy childhoods?

[maggie_simpson]

They would be no comedy writers.

What if alians invaded tomorrow?

[garret]

I'd be able to die happy.

What if I had a chicken quesadilla, and the filling accidentally squirted out and burned the president?

[Semaj]

I'd pee my pants from laughing so hard when the story airs on the nightly news.

What if abortions were illegal?

[garret]

There would be many a unwanted babys for all.

What if I was the sears tower dressed in sears clothing?

[vinceq]

Price of polyester would skyrocket due to the shortage of the material worldwide caused by the enormous clothing's creation. The higher price of polyester clothing would then cause rich people to want to wear it because of its cost. Hence, the return of the leisure suit!

What if I was married?

[Adamm R)))]

You'd spend less time posting in threads like these.

What if Bender was really big?

[Talking Pie]

Then he wouldn't have detention so much with the rest of "The Breakfast Club."

What if Pearl Jam (save Do the Evolution) kept making music videos after Jeremy?

[vinceq]

They wouldn't be able to act like curmudgeony music snobs and would lose all appeal.

What if the Simpsons aged?

[D DEBBS]

If they aged, nobody would buy their, to quote Krusty's own words "cheesy, crappy merchadise"-it'll look like bad, moldy cheese.
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What if Tyrant didn't adopt my family and wasn't a stray?

[Semaj]

Both your lives would be worse off.

What if Sarah never made it to the Castle beyond the Goblin City within 13 hours?

[D DEBBS]

TO: Semaj

So very true...5 years ago, he was a stray who BEGGED my dad for food and my dad, who felt sorry for him, gave him scraps.

Tyrant KNEW that we loved him, so he stayed.

It was Todd who wanted Tyrant for a pet, so my dad let him have him.

Tyrant calmed Todd's rage that was built up inside him due to his frustration on being deaf, diabetic, obese (320 pouns) and a paranoid schizphrenic.

Now Tyrant has lost his 'dad-dee', but I reassured my little kitty-kitty that I'll be his 'mom-mee.'

Back to the game...uh...who's Sarah?

Goblin City would be brought up by a greedy developer and the place would now be converted into a mini mall with a 'Starbucks', 'Mc Donald's', 'Home Depot', and a 'Wal-Mart.'
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What if wishes came true?

[Semaj]

There'd soon be no need for genies and magic lamps.

(Good luck again to your family.)

What if Scott Norwood HADN'T missed that winning field goal in Super Bowl XXIV?

[D DEBBS]

^
He'd get commercial endorsements up the ying-yang and wouldn't be considered a 'goat' like Bill Buckner of the Red Sox in the World Series back in the 1980's (? on decade).

[D DEBBS]

Oops...

What if the Icredible Hulk wasn't so 'incredible'...just credible?

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

He would be a frequent game show winner.
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What if smoking was actually good for you?

[CMQ]

I would be smoking right now.

What if the Buffalo Bills moved to L.A? :)

[vinceq]

Ralph Wilson would be tarred and feathered.

What if no Canadian hockey teams ever moved to American cities (Jets & Nordiques)

[Lisa's First Word]

They'd be drinking more syrups than usual


What if Matt Groening was a fake guy who actually is Jimmy Hoffa disguised (couldn't resist)

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

You will be wearing concrete boots by the end of the week.
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What if everyone lived in a soap opera?

[Semaj]

I'd die of boredom.

What if the kids stopped trying to steal the Trix rabbit's cereal?

[D DEBBS]

Silly Semaj...Trix are for Rabbits!
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What if...Peter Parker didn't get bit by a radioactive spider, but a radioactive cockroach?

[Semaj]

He'd be the lone survivor in a nuclear explosion.

What if William Jennings Bryan was elected President in 1908? :nerd:

[CMQ]

Nothing would change.

What if Kurt Cobain didn't blow his brains out?

[Lisa's First Word]

I'd enjoy his music more than Numa Numa

What if Portugal supported Columbus before Spain did?

[buh]

i don't know.

what if i didn't post this post

[D DEBBS]

^
We wouldn't know you existed
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What if SCS was the ONLY Simpsons collector's gathering place on the internet?

[Semaj]

Many fans would be discouraged from the lack of variety in Simpsons collectors domains.

What if domestic dogs had a longer life span?

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

They would develop opposable thumbs and take over their households.

What if everyone who had ever joined NHC was a frequent poster?

[Simpsons Forever!]

Then the site would crash from constant over-use.

What if pigs could fly?

[Semaj]

The term would no longer be used as sarcasm.

What if penguins could fly?

[Zoidbart]

Then they'd fly north and cause havoc.

What if Bush was dead? (Hooray!)

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

Anything you say, Generalissimo Cheney!

What if bowling was the only true way to salvation?

[Zoidbart]

Then I'd tell my parents "I don't care if bowling is expensive! I'm doing it anyway!"

What if life was better than it is now?

[lisalover1]

Then, "Wouldn't It be adequete!"

[Lisa's First Word]

Eh... I guess the answer is nothing for this one..

What if Bin Laden was captured in 2001?

[gangman]

then the world would be a better place and clarence wouldn't exist

what if someone fired a beam that made all the countries refuse into a supercontenent called the united states of 'cockaneckpopeeshire'

[D DEBBS]

^
It would be governed by Beavis and Butt-Head
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What if my older brother, Mark, allowed my younger brother, Todd, to come back to the house so I can take care of him (my older brother said no to having Todd live at home, thus he's going to be committed to a psychiatric hospital for the rest of his life)

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

You would be happier and we would be happier for you.

What if every holiday took place in the same month?

[D DEBBS]

We'd be tapped out on $ all the time!
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What if monkeys instead of nurses were the one to inspect lice checks at elementary schools?

[Lisa's First Word]

Kids would have had better time than studying


What if Alexander Bell didn't invent phones?

[gangman]

we would comuinucate by sending pies with the messages on them
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what if they released the PS3 PS4 PS5 PS6 and the PS7 all at the same time?

[Zoidbart]

Then Sony would suck 1000x more then they do now. Hopefully there won't be a PS4, PS5, PS6, or PS7. PS2 was okay, but PS3 is just stupid.

What if Comic Book Guy committed suicide?

[Semaj]

Springfield would be without its most valued critic.

What if Katey Sagal's child from 1991 wasn't stillborn?

[D DEBBS]

The kid would be going to high school by now.
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What if people are allowed to express their opinions on message boards freely without being chastised?

[Gatorgod]

Crack-Pots and Free thinkers everywhere would celebrate!

What if Reverse time & forward time objects could co-exist peacefully side by side? :nerd:

[D DEBBS]

Stevie Wonder and Paul Mc Cartney would be singing a duet about them!
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What if some NHC members weren't jerks to members who have family problems?

[Gatorgod]

Their souls would swell with joy so much that they'd burst! *For Real*

What if Family Guy made more Episodes than the Simpsons? ;-/

[Semaj]

The residents of Quahog would be the icons of contemporary television animation instead.

What if the plane attacks of September 11, 2001 hadn't occured?

[Lisa's First Word]

One of Derek Jeter's nickname wouldn't have become 'Mr. November'

What if Phil Hartman isn't dead?

[Gatorgod]

He would have provided the voice to Zap Branigan (Its True!)

What if California were separated into "2" north & south states?

[D DEBBS]

It'll be like that 'Who' episode of the 'Simpsons'-methinks my fellow citizens will be at war with one another.
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What if birds suddenly appear...every time you are near?

[Gatorgod]

The small ones usually clean my teeth when i leave my mouth open, Ducks are Dinner :yummy:

What if Superman Returns sucks royally? :-/

[tarflyonthewall]

I'll be saying "I told you so."

What if "The X-Files" came back?

[D DEBBS]

Then the truth will really be out there...for $8-$10 a ticket, unless you go to the matinee.
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What if James L. Brooks didn't approach Matt Groening and asked him to come up with drawings for the 'Simpsons?'

[Gatorgod]

He'd be known only for his "Life in Hell" strip.

What if Impending Doom makes you giggle silly like? :giggle:

[D DEBBS]

Then I won't have to see a psychiartrist!
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What if nosy people didn't read e-mails that weren't sent to them?!!!

(Thanks a lot, Virginia, my dad's so-called 'friend!')

[Gatorgod]

They'd never learn of the secret plot to assassinate them!

What if every book you touch burst into confetti before you read it?

[D DEBBS]

I would be having my own personal New Year's greetings every time I read!
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What if there was no Father's Day (which would suit me just fine!) on Sunday?

[Gatorgod]

They'd replace it with "Disney/Pixar" day. which would be even more hated!

What if all you can eat meatball subs for $2 weren't just a dream?

[D DEBBS]

Your stomach would have meatball imprints-everyone would know what you ate!
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What if everyone's luck has changed?

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

Then I'm a gonna win the lottery and stop getting laid. :uhh:
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What if I didn't browse the NHC archives while I'm at work?

[D DEBBS]

You'd be busy and the boss wouldn't suspect a thing!
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What if my brother, Todd, didn't have his mental meltdown on May 12, 2006?

[Gatorgod]

Theirs always may 13th?

What if they stopped making summer blockbusters every year?

[D DEBBS]

Blockbuster season would be around Christmas time!
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What if $ grew on trees?

[Adamm R)))]

It would be a disaster. Money would go into inflation making it useless.

What if the what if thread didn't exist?

[Gatorgod]

We'd find a new way to Piss off the Establishment, Maaaaan!

What if George Bush's brother Jeb wins the next election? :'( (misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=usernote#)

[vinceq]

The Democrats would start Civil War Episode II: Attack of the Kennedys


---

What if I could go one day without hating on the tree-huggin' hippies?

[Gatorgod]

You'd devote your free time to inventing a machine that hears what trees are saying,..(It'll be boring as hell, all they want to talk about is the Weather)

speaking of boring, What if Monk Chants took over the top 40 stations?

[HOMR]

Nothing would happen


What if Noiseland didn't suck?

[Gatorgod]

It can't suck cause you Sucked them all...

What if the Good old days weren't really all that Good?

[D DEBBS]

VH-1 won't have any cheesy rememberance programs.
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What if I didn't have high blood pressure and was allowed to participate in a health study (which took me an hour to find >:()

[D DEBBS]

^
GRR! :angry: this is the emoticon I wanted to use!

[Gatorgod]

What if you had used this one? :-? ..(what does it stand for???)

[D DEBBS]

^
I'd be stoned...and not the throw rocks at me kind!
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What if I actually did get a rock thrown at my head?

[Gatorgod]

Bounces off harmlessly, It seems harding of the Arteries Does have an Upside after all

What if Moses had roses for toes-es?

[D DEBBS]

^
He'd be a clue in Sunday's Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle!
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What if I won first prize for my embroidery entry in the Del Mar Fair than second?

[Gatorgod]

Fair-Folk would applaud your Inventive Design of a be-speckled Gator with a case O' the Fidgets!

What if I then sued you for copyright Infringement? :silly:

[Semaj]

You'd get a lot of money, at someone else's expense.

What if the Earth had two moons?

[D DEBBS]

Beavis and Butt-Head would be maikng a lot of crude jokes!
---------------------------------------------------------

What if Beavis and Butt-Head were two well-behaved boys?

[Gatorgod]

The mantle would be passed to Rod & Todd to carry on the miss deeds

What if your friends Web comic becomes more famous than "Angry dad"?

[D DEBBS]

Here's hoping he'll hire me as a promotional PR person or a colorist.
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What if wishes come true?

[Gatorgod]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/mergator.jpg
THIS Would Happen! :D

What if Umbriel told me to crawl back to my putrid swamp and leave her alone? :(

[D DEBBS]

^
Who's Umbriel?

What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?

[Gatorgod]

Who's Umbriel?...The Mermaid from Futurama :aww:

We'd have Much to discuss!

What if Lighter fluid was edible?

[D DEBBS]

We'd have flaming hot breath!

-------------------------------

What if lighter fluid was used as a mouth wash?

[Dewey Finn]

I'd have accidentally swallowed more mouth wash

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What if Groening graduated law school?

[Gatorgod]

The bottle I have says LF is also great at removing Grease, Oil, Wax, Gum, Labels, Crayon, Tar, & Heel marks. ... The Average teeth build up of NHC members, So I say GO FOR IT!!

What if That new fella hadnt snuck that post in while I was replying to Debbs?:-/

[Sniper Squirrel]

you and D Debbes would've fallen for each other

what if president Bush appointed the Juggernaut as secretary of defense?

[D DEBBS]

He'd be an X-Man character...isn't Juggernaut a comic book character?
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What if I didn't have to take my bleepin' high blood pressure medication?

[Gatorgod]

You'd be Ok cause its probably just a placebo anyways

What if Toy police badges were just as good as the real ones?

[Sniper Squirrel]

all children would arrest there parents and teachers

what if I was elected next president?

[D DEBBS]

You'd assassinate yourself!
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What if humans don't urinate/excrete?

[Sniper Squirrel]

millions of plumbers would go out of business

what if money literally grew on trees?

[D DEBBS]

I wouldn't have to drive all the way down to San Diego to participate in skin/drug research studies for $$$$$$$.
----------------------------
What if MEN instead of women have period and gave birth to babies?

[Sniper Squirrel]

penile repair would be the hottest new career field

what if the simpson's movie was nc17

[D DEBBS]

Bart's soul will be worth more than $5!
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What if Tyrant behaved like a good widdle kitty-kitty and promised never to offend the NHC?