Phony news headlines featuring above poster.

[Clarence]

Basically make a short news headline you might find in say a news paper about the above poster (featuring the above poster's username)

For example:

"Semaj caught stealing bran muffins from retail outlets"

[Semaj]

Clarence survives after being trapped in a well for three months!

[Talking Pie]

Semaj just posted in a the best Noiseland thread ever.

[Wasteland]

"Talking Pie Actually a Jelly Doughnut, Friends Close to Him Say."

[Toli]

Clarence here only one day and makes annoying games thread.

[vinceq]

TOLI WEDS TOMKAT'S BABY

[Wasteland]

Vinceq Banned From The Superfriends

[billi vanilli]

wasteland: not actually a waste of land, reporters say

[Nameless]

Post By Navin Johnson Thrills Nation!

[Talking Pie]

Nameless actually has a name!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Talking Pie to guest star on The Simpsons!

[D DEBBS]

SOMEBODY BEATS THE REV!!!!

[Semaj]

D DEBBS approves of new Gritty Kitty formula!

[Wasteland]

Semaj: Man or Myth? Maybe Woman?

[vinceq]

BRANGELINA VACATION IN WASTELAND

[Talking Pie]

Vinceq actually lives in Ontario,CA...not Canada.

[Clarence]

Talking Pie eaten by non-talkative human, police point to EgoJudicata.

[Alpha]

"Clarence Wrecks Car in Cemetary, Hundreds Dead"

[Clarence]

"Alpha has now been upgraded to Beta"

[Nameless]

Clarence Makes Halfway Decent Thread!

[Dr Zaius]

Topless Pics of Nameless vacationing in Hawaii inside!

[Paul]

Dr Zaius goes day without masturbating!

[Talking Pie]

Paul can't stand Lost anymore!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Talking Pie recommends The Simple Life!

[Semaj]

Reverend Lovejoy abandons Christianity!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Semaj gives up supporting Disney (leaving me as only Chicken Little fan here).

[Paul]

Reverend Lovejoy creates threads stating that she hates Lovejoy, and wants him to be killed off!

[Lizard Queen]

Paul arrested for public nudity. Photos, pages 11-27

[Cow Milk?]

'Lizard Queen' actually an amphibian, says Mayor

[Talking Pie]

Cow Milk is actually Cow Hamburger!

[D DEBBS]

Talking Pie To News Media: "No Comment!"

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS denies ever meeting a cat named Tyrant!

[D DEBBS]

Lovejoy knocked unconscious by Battle Bot Chief Knock-A-Homer!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS is allergic to cats!

[D DEBBS]

Turkey pecks pompous reverend to death!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS attacked by cats!

[Semaj]

Reverand Lovejoy recommends the Klingon Chronicles at her local bookstore!

[D DEBBS]

Ydaer ton si Semaj!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS attacked by turkeys!

[D DEBBS]

Reverend Lovejoy Attacked By Tyrant T. Tabby!!!!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS attacked by... something!

[garret]

Reverend Lovejoy says: I don't like your camera flashes!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Gorak is not on the level!

[Talking Pie]

Reverend Lovejoy is actually Reverend Hatejoy!

[garret]

"Talking Pie enjoys eating PIE!"

[Talking Pie]

Goark has never been to Seattle!

[garret]

Talking Pie is behind California's earthquakes!

[D DEBBS]

Gorak close friend and associate of 1970's children's show icon Korg, of 'Korg: 75,000 B.C.'

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS Loses Cat! - and her mind follows

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen is fully clothed in the Fermentarium!

[Lizard Queen]

Talking Pie Downs 72 Hot Dogs In 4 Minutes! However, He Was Not Entered In Any Sort Of Contest

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen throws bat at Delmon Young!

[gangman]

talking pie shoves food up ass and shits out mouth

[garret]

Gangman references South Park!

[Semaj]

Special Edition: Gorak Makes Whoopie with Henrietta R. Hippo!

[buh]

hot off the press: semaj goes a week without jerking off to a cartoon.

[Talking Pie]

Buh goes a week without listening to RHCP!

[garret]

Talking Pie states to transvestite hooker: What's a Cleveland steamer?

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Gorak is afraid of loud noises!

[D DEBBS]

Rev. Lovejoy Makes No Time For Turkey Lurkey Time!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS has no time for cats!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Turkey Lurkey Tragedy kills seven

[Semaj]

Breaking Story: Sniper Squirrel plots to assassinate Wally E. Weasel!

[D DEBBS]

Spongebob soaks Semaj to death!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS goes on murderous rampage!

[D DEBBS]

Reverend Lovejoy first casualty caused by Tyrant T. tabby!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS involved in cat-smuggling incident!

[D DEBBS]

Turkeys attack Rev. Lovejoy-stuffed with cranberries and almonds!

[Lizard Queen]

DDEBBS GETS CAUGHT IN THE RAIN; REMAINS DRY

[garret]

Lizard Queen found smuggling potatoes into Canada!

[Lizard Queen]

GORAK RUNS PUPPY MILL - CLAIMS, " NO PUPPIES HERE. JUST, UM, WIND MILLS"

[vinceq]

LIZARD QUEEN OVERTHROWN BY LIZARD SUBJECTS

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Vinceq - king of the monkeys?

[Talking Pie]

Reverand Lovejoy loses faith!

[Dr Zaius]

Talking Pie Outfarts Michael Moore!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Dr Zaius is not a real doctor!

[George]

Reverend Lovejoy - First Man On The Moonton Keynes

[Lisa's First Word]

Rod Flanders marries Jessica Lovejoy!

[Ivan]

Rod Flanders marries Jessica Lovejoy!

...how does that work? It's meant to be about the person that posted before you.

Lisa's First Word still silent.

[Dr Zaius]

IVAN SIMPSONS TO STAR IN SCHINDLER'S LIST MUSICAL!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Dr Zaius to marry Jessica Lovejoy!

[Talking Pie]

Reverend Lovejoy to marry Katie Holmes and kill Tom Cruise!

[garret]

Talking Pie IS Tom Cruise!

[Lizard Queen]

GORAK EATS TOM CRUISE - CLAIMS,"NOW I HAVE HIS POWERS"

[George]

oh man, nobody did it for me! :(

Lizard Queen, found dead and bloated at Duff Gardens
Sueing the NHC Times for false information

[garret]

George eats Pie - Talking Pie!

[D DEBBS]

Gorak gets food poisioning from eating Talking Pie

[garret]

D DEBBS gets a sandwich, sandwich gives her rabies.

[D DEBBS]

Gorak gets rabies from Tyrant T. Tabby!

[Talking Pie]

D DEBBS isn't 44!

[Wasteland]

Talking Pie Exposes Himself to War Widows!

[Semaj]

Wasteland Makes a Fortune off a Land of Waste!

[Wasteland]

Semaj Attacked By Children With Plastic Spongebob Dolls.

[garret]

Wasteland is burnt (down there).

[Wasteland]

Gorak is Raped (Down There).

[garret]

Wasteland fires employee stating: I aint not gettin' enough pleasure!

[bluemoose]

Gorak spontaneously combusts!

[garret]

Bluemoose eats himself!

[Dr Zaius]

Gorak trapped in refridgerator -eats own foot!

[George]

Dr Zaius named after Planet of the Apes musical reference, vows to kill parents.

[Reverend Lovejoy]

George - proud owner of a steamboat!

[Lizard Queen]

REVEREND LOVEJOY PREACHES IN TOWN CENTER - NO ONE LISTENS

[D DEBBS]

Nude Photos of Lizard Queen In The Fermentarium-read it and see it in the 'Enquirer!'

[Talking Pie]

D DEBBS doesn't think that Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston!

[D DEBBS]

Brad Pitt Cheats On Angelina Jolie: Talking Pie New Lover!!!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS sees Talking Pie with Angelina Jolie!

[George]

REV PUBLISHES NEW BOOK
"Someone's in the Kitchen with Jesus" is NOT that book

[D DEBBS]

^
George is actually the much-hated 'Dubya!'

[Talking Pie]

D DEBBS sees Talking Pie making out with Rachel McAdams after she broke up with Ryan Gosling!

[D DEBBS]

Talking Pie makes out with celebrities she ONLY knows!

[George]

DEBBS rapes cat.
Talking pie not surprised.

[garret]

George sells his soul to a giant chicken-Chicken rapes him anyway.

[Mira]

"Gorak engaged to humongous rapist chicken"

[George]

Mira regrets having chose milk.

[garret]

"Mira George steals giant rapist chicken's car, chicken not able to make it to wedding"

[George]

Gorak's new partner finds golden egg. Misunderstanding leads to divorce.

[Lizard Queen]

GEORGE PROCLAIMS - I AM THE WHIZ; NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen joins the Minutemen patroling the US/Mexico border!

[George]

Talking Pie discovered in Atlanta. Bookies give good odds of it never shutting up.

[Lizard Queen]

GEORGE HOLDS MALL HOSTAGE - SAYS: RETAIL PRICES PISS ME OFF!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Lizard Queen elected for president!

[George]

Reverend accused of eating babies, claims they were shaved chimps.
SOURCE: Jimbo

[Lizard Queen]

GEORGE FOUND DEAD IN DITCH, SOURCES SAY - HE LOOKED GOOD

[D DEBBS]

Talking Pie takes vow of silence

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS even more disturbed by 'The Monkey Suit' than I am!

[D DEBBS]

^
"Disturbed" over an unhealthy obsession over turkeys a la Troy Mc Clure's fish fetish.

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS HUNTS FOR TREASURE IN KFC DUMPSTER

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen invents a hyrbrid of a DVD player and an iPod!

[Lizard Queen]

^yeah, I call it iMod

TALKING PIE TO PRESIDENT BUSH - EAT ME

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen just discovered who killed Jon Benet Ramesy! More on this story and others on Eyewitness News at 11!

[E-I-E-I-Moe]

TAKLING PIE GOES PLOWING

[Lizard Queen]

E-I-E-I-Moe EATS OWN FECES, CLAIMS IT'S THE KEY TO ETERNAL LIFE

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen finds a way to make peace between Morrissey and the rest of The Smiths to reunite! Fans like Talking Pie rejoice!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Talking Pie the new Mr Plow?!

[Lisa's First Word]

Reverend Lovejoy hacks Kim Jong-Il's computer and whole North Korea's army system!

[Lizard Queen]

Lisa's First Word DECLARED WORLD'S RICHEST PERSON - CREDITS LOTTERY TICKETS

[D DEBBS]

Lizard Queen caught naked in the Fermentarium...photos downloaded on the internet very, very soon!

[Semaj]

City & Region: D Debbs singlehandedly fixes city potholes.

[Lizard Queen]

SEMAJ REVEALED AS INTERNET STALKER - CONFESSES TO LIZARD QUEEN

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen responsible for the extinction of dinosaurs!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Talking Pie responsible for the cancellation of Chicken Little 2!

[D DEBBS]

Rev. Lovejoys sets Thanksgiving turkeys FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

[Lisa's First Word]

D DEBBS IS ACTUALLY MATT GROENING: THE CREATOR OF THE SIMPSONS

[D DEBBS]

^
I WISH! (I would even settle for being Deborah Caplan, his ex-wife!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lisa's ACTUAL first word....(EXPLETIVE!)

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS wishes to be Matt Groening!

[D DEBBS]

Rev. Lovejoy officates the DEBBS/Groening nuptuals...Tyrant is ring bearer.

[Sniper Squirrel]

D Debbs/Groening divorce after a tumultous 3 weeks

[Semaj]

Sniper Squirrel outwitted by Screwy Squirrel in Wild Goose Chase!

[Talking Pie]

Semaj invents time machine!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Talking Pie - new king of the world?!

[D DEBBS]

^
Rev. Lovejoy benevolent ruler of a planet inhabited by turkeys.

[garret]

D DEBBS eats snakes; says she enjoys it.

[D DEBBS]

^
Actually, as a kid, I had TWO stuffed animals that were snakes: Stanley and Shady Lady!
-----

Eaten alive and head first by Stanley D. Cool and Shady lady!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS declares war on my turkey planet!

[Dr Zaius]

REVEREND LOVEJOY IN OLSEN TWIN THREESOME SCANDAL

[Semaj]

Dr. Zaius seen partying with Quagmire! (exclusive photos)

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Semaj declares hatred for King Of The Hill!

[D DEBBS]

^
Rev. Lovejoy denounces Turkey Lurkey Time in favor for Brussell Sprouts-a-rama!

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS USES LIZARD QUEEN'S REAL NAME ON MESSAGE BOARD - LIZARD QUEEN FURIOUS! :LOL:

[D DEBBS]

^
Lizard Queen does not have a legitimate complaint: SBBED .D's real name: Debra Jean Hopkins!!!

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS RENAMED DEBRA Q. EINSTEIN

[Semaj]

D Deebs arrested for stealing thunder!

[D DEBBS]

Semaj arrested for swiping lightning...Lightning Mc Queen...BEFORE 'Cars' gets released on June 9th!

[Semaj]

D. Deebs allegedly sees Cars before wide release date!

[D DEBBS]

Semaj is the luckiest person at NHC-wish some of his luck will rub off on me!

[E-I-E-I-Moe]

President mistakes D DEBBS's location for credit card land, confusion ensues

[gangman]

E-I-E-I-Moe discovers antimatter
funeral at 8:30

[Lizard Queen]

GANGMAN FINDS HOLY GRAIL - SAYS,"IT AIN'T SO GREAT"

[Zoidbart]

"Lizard Queen threatens children in Japan to give her free rice"

[Lisa's First Word]

Zoidbart is Osama Bin Laden!

[Lizard Queen]

LISA'S FIRST WORD GROWS WEED IN THE CLOSET - SENTENCED TO 25 YEARS IN PRISON

[Lisa's First Word]

Lizard Queen became the first lady replacing Laura Bush

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Lisa's First Word campaigns for more Jessica appearances!

[Zoidbart]

"Reverend Lovejoy caught stealing identities"

[Lizard Queen]

ZOIDBART REVEALED AS ECO TERRORIST

[D DEBBS]

^
Lizard Queen revealed to be the lips that introduced the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show.'

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS goes on a killing spree!!!

[D DEBBS]

^
Turkey Lurkey first casuality from SBBED .D's shooting rampage (hey...I hafta feed Tyrant!)

Next are President Logan and that other guy who dissed me!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS victim in my killing spree (hands off my turkey!)

[D DEBBS]

^
Rev. Lovejoy starts a turkey fund-raising drive for the months of November and December!

[Talking Pie]

^ D DEBBS invents a 13th month that runs for 30 days!

[Semaj]

Talking Pie befriends Speaking Cake!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Semaj confesses to boycotting Disney!

[Talking Pie]

Reverend Lovejoy has yet to find a penny!

[D DEBBS]

Talking Pie buries Dick!

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS REWRITES HISTORY - SAYS, CATS WERE THE FIRST IN SPACE

[Talking Pie]

Lizard Queen to do a "screamo" cover of 'Til Tuesday's Voices Carry!

[tarflyonthewall]

Talking Pie to be silenced!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Tarflyonthewall stops racing!

[Dr Zaius]

Brangelina adopt teenage girl from Milton Keynes!

[D DEBBS]

Dr. Zaius has hemmorroids!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS not angry!

[D DEBBS]

^
Oh, look...a penny! Now Rev. Lovejoy can have something to eat (wash it, first!)!

[Semaj]

D Deebs snubbed by Buena Vista for already living in Vista

[D DEBBS]

^
Snubbed by buffaloes in Buffalo.

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS stole my penny! :angry:

[D DEBBS]

^
Tyrant used stolen penny to buy turkey feed for Rev. Lovejoy!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS never gave me the turkey feed!

[D DEBBS]

^
Tyrant T. Tabby awaiting payment for Purina Turkey Chow.

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS tried to steal my penny... again!

[D DEBBS]

^
Tyrant saving pennies for ownership of a turkey farm!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS becomes a millionare!

[D DEBBS]

^
I Wi$H!!!


The Reverend becomes the new Pope.

[Sniper Squirrel]

reverend turn pope condemns woman and her cat

[D DEBBS]

^
Reverend removed from church due to not blessing cat on St. Francis of Assisi's Blessing of the Animals Day.

[Lizard Queen]

D DEBBS FINDS PENNY: DECLARED LUCKY

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Lizard Queen stars in Chicken Little 2!

[D DEBBS]

Reverend Lovejoy directs Chicken Little 2!

[Sniper Squirrel]

chicken little 2 hated by all except D Debbs and Tyrant

[Gatorgod]

Sports News: Sniper Squirrel Sweeps a Giant double Header!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Baby News Gatorgod is proud father of gator jesus

[D DEBBS]

Woodland assassin zaps Jack Black and Kyle Gass in the 'mucky-muck.'

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS escapes the woodland assassin!

[Gatorgod]

Lovejoy say school bus passengers should be belted

[D DEBBS]

^
Gator God installs light fixtures from IKEA so he won't have to "embrace the swampy darkness."

[Gatorgod]

D Debbs discovers Nobodys telling the truth about Anything!

[Sniper Squirrel]

gatorgod suffers severe case of swamp ass

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Sniper Squirrel attacks the cast of Over The Hedge.

[Gatorgod]

Reverend Lovejoy No.1 at the Box Office!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Gatorgod makes guest appearance in Chicken Little!

[Old Man Simpson]

Rev. Lovejoy banned from local movie theatre
Exposed illegally filming "Chicken Little" for Gator God

[D DEBBS]

Old Man Simpson actually a toddler!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS actually won first prize at the local fair!

[Old Man Simpson]

Reverend Lovejoy mentioned in phony news headline!

[Sniper Squirrel]

machine attacks old for failing to praise him

[Gatorgod]

Secret Squirrel adopts Sniper

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Gatorgod - proud owner of the world's best gator farm!

[D DEBBS]

Tic Tac rancher!

[Sniper Squirrel]

D Debbs reveiled as only daughter of crazy cat lady

[Gatorgod]

New York Press, NY - 3 hours ago ...Sniper Squirrel Shunned by Amish

[D DEBBS]

Amish Wears Gator God Shoes!

[Dewey Finn]

D DEBBS never hit puberty -CMM.com

[Paul]

Ian posts in intelligent Noiseland Arcade game

[E-I-E-I-Moe]

Paul loses to the world!

[D DEBBS]

^
Had a farm, but it was foreclosed, E-I, E-I Oh, No!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Homicidal Cat reeks havoc in Vista California

[Gatorgod]

Sniper Squirrel Booed at Sundance Film fest

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Gatorgod banned from Sundance film fest!

[D DEBBS]

Rev. Lovejoy featured speaker at the Cannes Film Festival.

[Gatorgod]

New york Post - Tyrant named Cat of the year!
*side article*...Slowest news day Ever!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Gator god leads Gator crusade against crocodiles

[Reverend Lovejoy]

Sniper Squirrel leads the squirrel revolution!

[Sniper Squirrel]

reverned lovejoy starts RAT (reverneds against thanksgiving)

[D DEBBS]

^
Sniper Squirrel president of the Mucky-Muck: Tenacious D Fan Club

[Jim Jones]

D DEBBS one of 63 dead after Iraqi car bombing.

[D DEBBS]

Jim Jones adopts Tyrant T. Tabby

[Sniper Squirrel]

D. Debbs and Tyrant perish in car accident driven by Tyrant's brother Toonces the driving cat

[D DEBBS]

Tyrant possesses the soul of Sniper Squirrel!

[Reverend Lovejoy]

DDEBBS posesses everybody's soul!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Reverend Lovejoy to perform mass exorcisms on people possessed by D. Debbs