jack bauer
04-27-2006, 05:15 PM
My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest day of my life. Today I lost two of my best friends; first David Palmer, then Tony Almeida. I find out my daughter's dating this guy who's older than I am. I had to kill, like, I don't know, a dozen people, maybe more. I hate that. It makes me look really, really bad. I haven't eaten. I itch. Not to mention I had to babysit my ex-girlfriend's incorrigible son Derek, all morning long. Before breakfast I found a gram of coke in his room. The little punk claims he was "holding it for a friend". My ass.
What else, oh yeah, my favorite shirt caught on fire. I've had to choke two different women. I'm tired. And now I've got this ex-CTU agent named Henderson trying to kill me. The guy totally creeps me out. I got punched by an old man. I have to fly a plane, again, which really sucks because I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing. And this is the kicker: I find out, while I was gone, the woman I loved was getting anal from some dude named Cummings.
Alright, I may have exagerated a little with the anal part. But damn it, there's something she's not telling me! Anyways.. uh.. what were we talking about? Oh yeah: blow. You got any? I already finished Derek's stash. C'mon, I know you party.
Just kidding. Say no to drugs.
What else, oh yeah, my favorite shirt caught on fire. I've had to choke two different women. I'm tired. And now I've got this ex-CTU agent named Henderson trying to kill me. The guy totally creeps me out. I got punched by an old man. I have to fly a plane, again, which really sucks because I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing. And this is the kicker: I find out, while I was gone, the woman I loved was getting anal from some dude named Cummings.
Alright, I may have exagerated a little with the anal part. But damn it, there's something she's not telling me! Anyways.. uh.. what were we talking about? Oh yeah: blow. You got any? I already finished Derek's stash. C'mon, I know you party.
Just kidding. Say no to drugs.