Official: Hollywood Has Run Out OF Ideas.

[Wasteland]

I know I said that I wouldn't be back until May, but even I came out of vacation for this:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462395/

Can somebody please tell me WHY THE FUCK they would give Larry the Cable Guy his own movie?

Now back to vacation.

[garret]

http://www.apocalipsis.org/image6-1.jpg

this truly is, the end

[Moose of Doom!]

...because it's guaranteed to make money because he has many many fans?

[mayo]

...because it's guaranteed to make money because he has many many fans?
sad yet true :(

[RussChaney]

i wonder what my stepdad will be asking to see next. no matter what a good influence i try to be, you just can't shake mississippi roots. this is some unbelievably unfunny shit though. fuck

[Gatorgod]

All the Bumpus Hicks I know should be Ah-Hootin an Ah Hollerin once they hear tell of this news. ... Me? I'll submerge till its all over ;-/

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/68ce26e2.gif

[Wonderboy]

I think it's a guarentee it'll take the top spot on IMDB's 100 Worst.

[grissom]

How did I know what this thread would be about when I read the title? I saw the trailer for this the other night, it's pretty sad. Just about anybody can get their own movie now apparently

[Toli]

http://www-tc.pbs.org/wnet/broadway/stars/images/brooks_m_pic2.jpg?mii=1

[lolpenis_taco]

Yes! The guys who wrote "Max Keeble's Big Move" are behind this! Score!

Edit: Wait a second, is that Buster fucking Bluth?

[brody]

^I know, I hope Tony Hale owes the mob money or something.

[Talking Pie]

How did I know what this thread would be about when I read the title? I saw the trailer for this the other night, it's pretty sad. Just about anybody can get their own movie now apparently

...and you wonder why people like me hate Whoreis Hilton. :angry:

[boogie down mikel]

...because it's guaranteed to make money because he has many many fans?

true, but by the time larry's fans save up enough money for one ticket the movie will be out on dvd

get er done

[America: Fuck Yea!]

this can't be good.

[Sam]

what a terrible thread title. what is this, fark.com circa 2001

*1/2 /*****

(Beep)

[Semaj]

And people wonder why the box office numbers are so low nowadays.

[Curtis]

Saw the trailer for this piece of shit awhile back. I HATE the Red Neck Comedy, its not funny at all and this guy is an idiot. I hope the movie bombs.

[Matt B.]

The movie will most likely bomb. Most movies based off stand up only make $20 million at best.

[Curtis]

http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artId=183

People read that.. David Cross rips that redneck sack of shit to pieces.

[AngryDad33]

I don't know why but I really want to go see this movie And I'm not a country hick, I'm not a big larry the cable guy fan either. well if I'm the only one who goes to see it I'll tell you guys how it was.

[lolpenis_taco]

That David Cross letter is comic gold. Reminds me of something DNS would write.

[Larson Something]

I've always wondered what kind of project would bring Kid Rock and Jerry Mathers together.

[Toli]

^I know, I hope Tony Hale owes the mob money or something.

Probably the case for his guest star on Stacked.

[Jolly Bengali]

Amazing letter from Cross. I really never find the guy that funny in TV or movies, with the exception of stand-up or to a certain extent AD, but everything he's ever written or said outside of actual entertainment has impressed me tremendously.

[DotheBartman]

Pretty much agreed, though I'll add that he's great as Russ Lieber on The Colbert Report....I truly had no idea that he played that character until just now (IMDB search).

But yeah, that piece is fantastic. Really well said and deconstructs that guy perfectly. And not to mention it's pretty damn funny too.

And yeah, that movie looks awful, but honestly it's far from the end of the world. No one will remember it in ten years, like most shitty movies.

[Toli]

Is this guy a real cable guy? I don't get it.

[billi vanilli]

All the Bumpus Hicks I know should be Ah-Hootin an Ah Hollerin once they hear tell of this news. ... Me? I'll submerge till its all over ;-/

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/68ce26e2.gif
you've got to be like the nhc's most fag gy member.

[Dr Zaius]

I'd say Hollywood is far from losing ideas, what with Snakes on a Plane coming out later this year.

[Jayrayman]

Hollywood ran out of ideas when they started to produce the constant remakes of horror movies, and hardly any of them are any good. Apparently The Omen remake is coming out this year, but what pisses me off more is them redoing The Wicker Man with Nick Cage.... that’s a fuckin disgrace. Arghh (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450345/)

[box elder]

i’ve gotta admit, i don’t understand the vitriolic fervor against these guys. i mean, they aren’t funny and they are lowest common denominator and they're rich etc, but who cares? some people find it funny; to each his own, right? i mean, when i see other comedian’s in a rage about the “blue collar” guys, it just seems to me like jealousy.

and if you really “hate” them, i've gotta think there's something wrong with you.

[lolpenis_taco]

I have legit reasons for hating that stupid fuck. For one, a lot of his material is lifted. Observe:

"I dated a clown who was into rough sex and she went down on me and I looked down and my wiener was twisted into a puppy dog."- Larry the Cable Guy, God of Comedy.

Rewind six years.

"I dated a clown for childrens parties, and it turns out she was into rough sex. Which I found out is a really bad combination. I thought it was getting really hot down there, I looked down, my penis was twisted into a giraffe."- Russ Meneve.

Wait, there's more!

"I tried phone sex once and I got a girl who stuttered and it cost me 200 bucks."- Larry the Cable Guy

That made me think of a slightly similar joke Johnny Rizzo told almost 11 years ago. See if you can spot the subtle deviations:

"I tried phone sex. I got a girl that stuttered. It cost me $3,000."

Secondly, I hate his stage persona. The flannel, the trucker hat, the intentional ass-raping of the English language: eat shit already.

By the way, what the hell is with the name of this movie? If the guys a health inspector, why the fuck is he still being referred to as Larry the Cable Guy? Can't he lose that moniker for just two fucking hours?

[Snowball13]

apparently I am the only one in the world who likes Larry the Cable Guy...I think he's funny...AND I'm not a redneck or a hill billy or a retard before anyone starts bashing me...

[Ihaveblink]

No, not at all. You just have shitty taste in comics.

[Curtis]

All the Bumpus Hicks I know should be Ah-Hootin an Ah Hollerin once they hear tell of this news. ... Me? I'll submerge till its all over ;-/

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/68ce26e2.gif

That was corny and weird as hell.

Larry the Cable Guy is a fag

[Ignignot]

Credited cast:
Bruce Bruce .... Big Shug
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Iris Bahr .... Amy Butlin
Joanna Cassidy .... Lily Micelli
Geoffrey James Clark .... Clumsy Waiter
Brooke Dillman .... Brenda Micelli
Eric Esteban .... Sakamoto
John Fiore .... Chef Carmine
Tony Hale .... Jack Dabbs
Tom Hillmann .... Tad
Kid Rock .... As Himself
David Koechner .... Donnie
Lisa Lampanelli .... Jane's Mom
Roger Marks .... Shmuly
Jerry Mathers .... As Himself
Tony Morales .... Health Inspector
Joe Pantoliano .... Mayor M.T. Gunn
Michael Papajohn .... Short Order Cook
Megyn Price .... Jane Whitley
Robert Scott .... Impound Lot Attendant
Lance Smith .... Drysdale
Larry The Cable Guy .... Larry

This made me laugh^

I hate movies where anyone could of thought of it.

Me: Hey you random guy on the street.
Guy: Um, yes?
Me: Larry the Cable Guy is eating sushi, what happens?
Guy: Um....*thinks for 2 seconds* He is confused because the fish is raw?
Me: That's funny, I don't care who you are!

[caribou]

Curtis, you're a lot like this kid I knew in high school. He was obsessed with Invader Zim -- would never shut up about it, bring it up whenever possible, super obsessed -- and he was fond of hanging around my best friend, a guy who's second only to DNS in terms of quality biting sarcasm. This kid would always try to emulate my friend's barbs, and his versions always ended up trickling out as feebly as possible.

[moonwalker69]

This REALLY shows that Hollywood has basically run out of ideas. It's more interested in putting special effects ahead of scripts and destroying classic movies with so called updated remakes (eg House of Wax) and dull sequels to hit movies (eg Bridget Jones). Whatever happened to good old-fashioned story-telling?

[box elder]

I have legit reasons for hating that stupid fuck. For one, a lot of his material is lifted. Observe:

"I dated a clown who was into rough sex and she went down on me and I looked down and my wiener was twisted into a puppy dog."- Larry the Cable Guy, God of Comedy.

Rewind six years.

"I dated a clown for childrens parties, and it turns out she was into rough sex. Which I found out is a really bad combination. I thought it was getting really hot down there, I looked down, my penis was twisted into a giraffe."- Russ Meneve.

Wait, there's more!

"I tried phone sex once and I got a girl who stuttered and it cost me 200 bucks."- Larry the Cable Guy

That made me think of a slightly similar joke Johnny Rizzo told almost 11 years ago. See if you can spot the subtle deviations:

"I tried phone sex. I got a girl that stuttered. It cost me $3,000."

Secondly, I hate his stage persona. The flannel, the trucker hat, the intentional ass-raping of the English language: eat shit already.

By the way, what the hell is with the name of this movie? If the guys a health inspector, why the fuck is he still being referred to as Larry the Cable Guy? Can't he lose that moniker for just two fucking hours?


so, he's a talentless hack. but does that really warrant a hatred of him? i mean, maybe it's just hyperbole, but i think hatred is a rather intense reaction to a bad, unoriginal comedian.

[skittlebrau]

It's simple really: He's successful and we're not.

But the truth is, he built a tremendous following around the simple catchphrase of "GIT'R DONE!" while acting like your typical unfunny "unfamiliar with society" redneck jackass comic (which has been done many times before), while thousands of other unsung funny comedians are still awaiting their big break. But yeah, "hate" is a strong word to use here. I'd rather say I dislike him for not having any funny and making it for it.

[Larson Something]

^Pretty much my sentiments. But if you do actually hate him, take comfort in the fact that he's kind of like a 21st century redneck version of Andrew Dice Clay, and people didn't exactly line up around the block for The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane. And that had Wayne Newton!

[Snowball13]

for the record I do not have shitty taste in comics...my top 3 are
1) Denis Leary (a comedy God)
2) Dane Cook (Go Super finger)
3) that Canadian Guy (Cuz I am Canadian)

Just because I get Red neck humor does not mean that I have shitty taste...everyone has a right to their own opinion...

[Ihaveblink]

Canadian Guy? Can't argue with that.

I am as well one of the few Dane Cook fans on this board.

[lolpenis_taco]

Then again, Larry the Cable Guy is not a real person, but a character that Dan Whitney embodies when he goes onstage. I'm sure Dan Whitney is a very likeable guy, someone that I wouldn't mind kicking back a few beers and sharing funny stories with. I'm sure he speaks with a southern accent, but not to the extent where "preform (?)" arises in a conversation. It's all an act. I hate the act.

[Queenie]

Well, I'm probably one of the few people on this board who thinks he's funny, (I'm a yankee, BTW) But I don't know wheather to laugh or cry. Yes, I agree with the topic sentence.

[Snowball13]

Well, I'm probably one of the few people on this board who thinks he's funny, (I'm a yankee, BTW) But I don't know wheather to laugh or cry. Yes, I agree with the topic sentence.

awesome I'm not alone

[Ignignot]

Well, I'm probably one of the few people on this board who thinks he's funny, (I'm a yankee, BTW) But I don't know wheather to laugh or cry. Yes, I agree with the topic sentence.

I watched the Blue Collar Comedy and he sucks with the other guys. Everytime he tried to do a take of one of those jokes they do, it blew.

[Jayrayman]

And now Larry the Cable Guy is officially the worst film ever made according to the IMDB bottom 100 films here (http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom). So I suppose there is some justice after all :-$

[mr. broom]

This is probably the first time an IMDB list has been considered any type of justice. The only justice applicable here begins with the words "lead pipe."

[Wall E. Weasel]

...everyone has a right to their own opinion...
doesn't mean it's not completely and utterly wrong.

[mr. broom]

Whenever people's opinions get criticized, they think it's their right to have an opinion that's getting criticized. When was the last time anyone told anyone, "You're not allowed to have that opinion"? Right.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

in reply to the two week old use of "hate" for larry the cable guy: if he's lifting other people's material for his own use, then yes, hate is fair word to use for him. that's a really fucking asshole thing to do.

as for the subject of opinions...some opinions are inherently wrong, period.

[mr. broom]

Much like gil and Christopher Walken, I'm starting to hear all of your posts as being spoken by Logan. Angrily.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

should i just put a :angry: at the end of every post and remove all doubt?

[AngryDad33]

Well I saw Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector It wasn't that bad I'd probally give it a 3/5

[lolpenis_taco]

in reply to the two week old use of "hate" for larry the cable guy: if he's lifting other people's material for his own use, then yes, hate is fair word to use for him. that's a really fucking asshole thing to do.

Uh...is this sarcasm? I can never detect it in text form at this place.

[TransponderHut]

I can't STAND Larry. I am SO SICK of the whole Git-Er-Done thing. I can't walk by a hick pickup truck without seeing Git-Er-Done painted somewhere on it or a Git-Er-Done bumpersticker stuck on it.

I wish they'd start making a bumper sticker that says Run-Er-Over.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

Uh...is this sarcasm? I can never detect it in text form at this place.
absolutely not. and that wasn't sarcasm either. or that. or that. or that. i seriously hate people who steal other people's material. it's about as jackass a thing as you can do.

[box elder]

i still have to disagree. "hatred" implies that it really means something to you, and i just can't see why you'd feel that strongly about Larry the f'in' Cable Guy.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

my dad is a former standup comedian who had countless jokes jacked from him over the years, including at least one joke from an individual who made his break during the mid-90s and has/had a sitcom (don't watch enough t.v. to know if it's still on) who shall remain nameless. so, yes...i do have a BIG issue with material stealing hacks amounting a hatred of them

[box elder]

but that sort of thing exists everywhere. i mean, do you hate every band that has a lifted bass-line or guitar solo in one of their songs? or a TV show that steals a joke from another show? because in that case, you hate a great deal of folks.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

i think i have a right to take something personally if the topic has had a direct effect on people i'm close with...it's just a fucking scummy thing to do. becoming famous by taking credit for other people's work? i think we're taught from day one that that's wrong, and we get expelled from schools (plagirism) if we do it. and yes, i do hate alot of people. you can't condone a form of immorality simply because it is a frequently occuring form of it. in the entertainment industry, people like him are hated for stealing material (and he could at least do us a favor and steal a half-decent joke, but that's a different story) and are generally SEVERELY disliked. i don't listen to alot of "guitar solo music", but yes...musicians who steal music (and i don't mean emulate or have influence, i mean STEAL riffs) are severely disliked by me.

[box elder]

haha. just because i'm talking about a guitar solo, doesn't mean i'm talking CC Deville wank-offs or something. most rock songs have a guitar solo of some kind in it, including a lot of indie rock (just listen to Pavement).

[Dead Nigga Storage]

i know exactly what you meant, but the longest guitar solo (which i would refer to as exactly that...a guitar playing and NOTHING else) of any song i have on itunes is probably something pathetic like the bassline in "hate to say i told you so". i know pavement, and i have "terror twilight" on my computer and just recently deleted "crooked rain" off of it. not a big fan at all.

my point about stealing still stands. ;)

[box elder]

ok, i'm officially de-railing this thread i think, but how can you not like Crooked Rain? that's top 5 best albums of the 90s in my opinion. it has no less than 5 classic indie rock tracks. i mean "Range Life," "Gold Soundz," "Elevate Me Later," "Stop Breathin'," "Silence Kit" “Cut Your Hair”? these are up there with the best songs of the entire genre. i guess to each his own though (there, that kind of gets back on the track of the thread).

also, you're right, i didn't mean soloing as in literally the guitar going solo, i just meant when the lead guitar takes center stage and there're no vocals, which occurs in almost every rock song at some point and to some degree.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

in the same way that you might not like (and, actually, i probably wouldn't like) what are considered the top albums of 2005-06 era hip-hop. it's just not my type of music.

[box elder]

fair enough. although, it isn't like Pavement's all that different in style from Arcade Fire, Flaming Lips and even Wilco.

do you not like Terror Twilight either? that one's a little different from their other stuff on account of Nigel Godrich's imput (actually they didn't really have 2 albums that sounded exactly alike). but it's got a lot more crunchy guitars and less of the so-called "slacker" attitude of their earlier albums. if i were you i'd check out the "watery/domestic EP" before i wrote them off completely.

p.s. i'm not meaning to sound like a Pavement salesman

[Dead Nigga Storage]

well, even within a set genre i can be picky. some stuff sticks with me in a good way, and some doesn't, pavement just didn't do it for me. i assume you pulled those bands out of my profile, so that's fair game...but i'll say that even those 3 bands rank lowER on my list of favorites than some of the other stuff. it's impossible to pinpoint my taste, but i wish i could so i knew what to look for. my itunes is a mess. and no, i'm not a big 'terror twilight' fan either, i just haven't deleted it for some reason or another. mainly laziness, i guess...but i guess i want it around in case it suddenly strikes my fancy to listen.

[box elder]

of course. if you don't like something you don't like it. there are some bands that are very divisive in that way (like Neutral Milk Hotel) where some people love them, but others (even with very similar tastes) don’t.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

plus, i'm not cool enough to like indie music or today's mainstream music, so i'm fairly stuck in the middle.

[mr. broom]

Official: This Thread Has Run Out OF Ideas.

[Sampson]

this thread hurt my brain why did i read it

[Dead Nigga Storage]

same reason you turn your head when you pass a car accident on the freeway.

[Sampson]

president logan, did you used to be dns?

[Dead Nigga Storage]

yes

[kelly]

and yes, i do hate alot of people.

generi-scott :-X

how can "cut your hair" not put you in a great mood?

[Dead Nigga Storage]

because you're gay, that's why.

[kelly]

Official: President Logan Has Run Out OF Ideas.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

how about i just ask you how you can listen to it and BE in a great mood? not my type of music, you lose. but that's OK, you still have roarkey-woarkey to cry to, right?

[kelly]

I WAS JUST KIDDING NO NEED TO HATE.

and your pet name for him isn't as cool as mine, anyway.

[Dead Nigga Storage]

which one? fat man or little boy?

[Sampson]

president logan, stop being such an unfunny cunt

[Roarke]

more like, fat boy.

wait

HOW THE FUCK DID A THREAD ABOUT GITERDONE TURN INTO PAVEMENT2k6

go back to not replying to this thread, everyone

[lolpenis_taco]

I've decided to take one for the board and go watch this tonight. I'll report back with my Official Whisman Laugh Count and "Oh my fucking Jesus"-laden review. If I end up killing myself before the film has finished, please delete my account and create a rememberance thread in Town Square.

Also, I'm convinced I live in the dumbest town in America. My theater is advertising this movie as "The Cable Guy: Git-R-Done". Jesus God.

[Matt B.]

I saw it when it came out it was ok. But my movie theater has taken out the movie.

[bluemoose]

movie looks like shit.

bottom 100: #15 makes sense.

I hate Larry the Cable Guy (Well, not him. I hate his material. He just annoys me). He's not even a good comedian! Why should he get his own movie?

title of this thread = completely true.

[lolpenis_taco]

He got his own movie because his fans are the same idiots I know who spent $30 to see The Dukes of Hazzard 8 times when it was in theaters. The movie is a goldmine when the idiot demographic is taken into consideration here.

[Ihaveblink]

My friend had the great job of telling people that the Larry the Cable Guy movie wont be showing in his town. He smiled while he told them too.

[lolpenis_taco]

Before I begin this review, I'd like to point out that I HATE the Stereotype A meets Stereotype B formula. I've seen Asian cop meets black cop, I've seen white businessman meets black criminal, I've seen Asian cowboy meets white cowboy, and I've seen no telling how many veteran cops meet their new young, street-smart partners. Hell, I've even seen Whoopi Goldberg team up with a fucking dinosaur (http://imdb.com/title/tt0114658/). But I don't think I have ever witnessed a farcical mismatch as annoying as this one.

Unkempt redneck meets businesswoman with bug up her ass. Hilarity if I've ever seen it.

At one point, somewhere between the 34 fart jokes and his memorable "morning wood" scene, Larry and his partner fight over the radio station. Rehashing a tired movie formula is one thing, but Jesus Christ I am sick of seeing this scene. We get it, contrasting people have contrasting musical tastes. For the love of Christ: STOP.

Did I mention Larry farts a lot in this movie? Because he does. He also destroys his love interest's toilet when he executes one of the loudest "shit-scenes" I have ever cringed at. He then proceeds to wipe with one of her guest towels. How DO they write this stuff?

Who enjoys unintentionally exposed asscracks? Spoiler alert!

There was this one funny part where Larry eats at this fancy restaurant. Just kidding. Nothing in the movie was funny. I even went outside for a smoke break at the one hour mark, and I don't normally smoke.

PS. Lisa Lampinelli is an unfunny bitch and I hate her.

D

[Dead Nigga Storage]

how did it manage a D?

[lolpenis_taco]

I'm in a generous mood.