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View Full Version : Simpsons script, "Homer the Taskmaster"


King Kong, er, Homer
01-28-2006, 03:29 PM
If anyone remembers, I posted 3 acts to another episode I wrote up (they were long, so I guess that's why there weren't lots of replies). Well, I've got the first act of another in the works. It's for fun, of course, but honestly I feel these would make real good Simpsons eps if they had a little tinkering. But I'm in no position to be a Simpsons writer... yet. This episode if "Homer the taskmaster" where he becomes more of a hard-@ss with the family (on his own ground rules) to get them to be more respectful. The first act, after some goofy side stuff, establishes this. Here it is, edited for plot purposes (see below for details):

“Homer the Taskmaster”
(Homer walking around confused at breakfast)
Homer: Hmmm... I give up, Marge. Where did you hide them?

Marge: Hide what? Oh, you haven’t been watching that video tape of “Magic Secrets Revealed,” have you?

Homer: No, it’s has nothing to do with my ever-improving magic skills (Homer flashes some cards). But the offer is still open for you to crawl inside this picnic basket (holds it up) and I’ve got the ginsu sword all ready! (happily gestures) Huh?

Marge: Yeah sure, I'll get in the basket (rolls her eyes). As if... (enthusiastically) Isn't that what they say in that hip recent film Clueless? Isn't it? Huh?

Homer: You mean Clue? That movie made Sherlock Holmes look like some kind of Limey detective. Oh boy, that was a fun board game too.

Marge: Yes, yes it was. Before you broke it with a magic trick last week. Please, you think you can be a magician but it's obvious you're not cut out for it. A magician wouldn't have turned our last pet into turtle soup with some silly ginsu trick.

Homer: Yeah, then we got that new one guaranteed to be the best pet ever. Pfft, talk about advertising fraud. I let him run away, but don't tell the kids. Stupid turtle. Though he did find these in the ravine (holds up containers marked "For Mr. Hoffa).

Marge: What was it you were looking for, Homie? Just sit and eat your breakfast.

Homer: That’s the point. You’ve got my bacon, toast, juice but Marge, giving everyone else waffles and not me is way too harsh just because I misplaced your grandma’s ashes.

(Cat in the basement claws at leaky pipe, ashes spill out and engulf it)
Marge: No it’s not revenge, Homer. I cooked up 5 waffles for you. And in the shapes of your heroes of TV (waffles look like 3 stooges, Rerun and Bob Saget on Homer’s behind)

(Homer turns around, dog is eating waffles off his backside)
Homer: Stupid mutt! Off! Off, I said!

(Dog rolls his eyes) (barks like he’s indifferent to Homer’s commands, cat walks on table and coughs up fleas onto Homer's plate)
Homer: What the hell? Eeeeewww.

Homer: (picks up phone and yells) KALL is the one that rocks my socks off! (dejectedly) Oh, it’s the Nuclear Power Plant? Oh, ok.

Smithers: Yes, well don’t come in today Simpson. We have a crisis situation here today and we already have enough of those who showed up early to help out.

Burns (covered in lesions in a tub): (moans) Smithers! These ninkumpoops are causing me unecessary irritation.

Smithers: You fools, use the silk sponges, not the cotton ones.
(Lenny and Carl dressed up in contamination suits scrubbing Burns in a tub)

Carl: Fine, fine. Gosh, if I’d had known the clocks were set back an hour I wouldn’t have wound up here at 6:30 A.M. Usually, my informer on these things TELLS me beforehand!

Lenny: I lost my calendar, trust me. There was a blustery draft one day and...

Smithers: Less talk and more scrubbing. Now, the last time this happened to
Mr. Burns, we used a combination of oatmeal, tomato soup and this rust remover (starts pouring it in). You should probably close your eyes and mouths, it could get very toxic.

Lenny: Oh great! Oatmeal. One of the few things I’m actually allergic to.

Carl: Just shutup, ya doofus.

Homer (happily trotting around): The day I’ve been waiting for since 3 weeks ago. Ah yes, and a little treat to go along with it (retrieves his waffles now in the dog dish and begins chomping them down)

Marge: Is it beef jerky 50% off day at the Kwik-E-Mart?

Lisa: I’m gonna say they’ve brought back Baywatch in some form or another.

Bart: I’ll go with Hobo’s-R-Us garage sale down on 3rd and 84th.

Homer: Even better. I get a day off work. Except for a few dummies who showed up early, we all get a break for once.

Bart: Yeah, that’s all great dad but you take days off on your own time every week. You'd be the "Titanic" at the All-time Laziest Americans awards banquet... if it existed.

(Homer groans as his family takes shots at his character some more)

Lisa: Yeah, I mean what’s another day off to you? If it weren't for the remote control, your hand-eye co-ordination IQ would be 0. Besides, you’ll just waste it, rotting away in the slovenly, suburban decay of American life.

Homer: What do I care? That's been the theme of my life fer crying out loud.

Lisa: True, but... um. Uuh... (groans)

Bart: He’s got you there, Lis. Wow, dad actually won an argument with Lisa. Scary stuff.

(Creepy music plays, Homer looks around frightened)
Homer: Oh my god, the music is right. That is scary (creepy music again) Aaaah!!! It’s like John Williams can read our minds this very moment! What do we do? What do we do? (hits the floor sobbing)

(Bart, Lisa and Marge look at each other worriedly then all run out of the room as Homer cowers in fear)

(Homer hears them talking in another room, then we see them)
Marge: Geez, your father can be so hopeless sometimes. I guess that's one of his most charming traits... unfortunately.

Lisa: Well it's comforting to know that unlike most of my schoolmates, my father isn't even capable of grounding me.

Bart: Lis, it's hard to ground people when your brain is off in the clouds, heheh. That's dad for ya. Remember when he tried to teach Santa's Little Helper to play dead?

Lisa: (sarcastically) Yeah, he really cracked the whip there. By the end of it, Santa's Little Helper was drinking from both the toilet AND the pitcher of OJ.

(They all chuckle)

(Homer's face goes a range of emotions while listening to this from the kitchen until he hangs his head and walks into the living room to watch TV)


(Homer watching TV)
Homer: Hmmm, at least TV has always been good to me. Unlike my family. Buncha disrespectful know-it-alls. Who are they to tell me I’m wasting my life? I can find that out without their help! They don’t respect me, that’s the problem here. Especially that old coot I have to call “dad.”

Grandpa: Hey, I’m right here! Just because I seem dead sometimes doesn’t mean I should be invisible to others! (pause, desperately) Does it? Quick, what am I doing right now (begins making funny faces and goofs around with his dentures).

Homer: Ugh, put your dentures back in... (grudgingly) Dad.

Grandpa: Oh good. It wasn’t another out of body experience. From now on, I’m prepared for those scary situations! (pulls out pills that say existentialisin) (Homer doesn’t react) Hello? Heelllooo? (Homer ignoring him still) Hey! Bonehead! You didn’t even invite me for this special breakfast! Luckily, your wife did. Mmmm, she can sure make good poached corn.

Homer: (sarcastically) Aw, how nice of her. You know, I wish I could make this house what it’s supposed to be; my own personal kindgom.

Grandpa: Oh that’ll never happen. You gotta be a disciplinarian to get it! Take charge with your disrespectful kids and your independent-thinking wife. It’s what made the 40s and 50s a golden age in America. President Grant didn’t back down to those Communist railroad splitters at the Congress of Vienna, so tagnabit we didn’t back down from our nosy kids either. You (pointing at Homer) have gotta learn how to crack the whip! Lay down the law!

Homer: Since when are you that kind of guy?

Grandpa: Well, I would’ve been if raising you hadn’t had taken all the fire outta my belly. And when your mom left, well then I really deteriorated. I used to be quite the fearful figure before my 40s. That’s when I said goodbye to being fit as a brand new fiddle and hello to as busted as an old banjo (hangs head).

Homer: Right. (mutters under his breath) Let's see if TV makes more sense than the old man.

(flips channels, stops at CNN)
Panel guest: You know, Aaron. I really have no idea what the hell that’s supposed to mean!
Homer: (worriedly groans)

(turns to FOX NEWS)
Guest: That comment by the Senator makes as little sense as calling our President’s foreign poelicy (uses quote signs) “unsuccessful.”
Homer: (panicky groans) Come on, 240 channels and this is it?

(to FOX)
Announcer: To keep up in the ratings and make sure we’re still the no. 1 source for the trashiest programming out there, FOX introduces a new, tired spin on an old tired format. It’s Husband Swap! (shows picture of Flanders and Cleetus) We’ve switched these two papa’s and let’s see how they did on their first day in their new environment.

(at Flanders home)
Rod: It’s time for our hourly prayers, Mr. Cleetus.
Cleetus: (holding the toaster) Hey, nobody fed this here critter yet. How y’all run this place without a good ol trusty electric generator?

Tod: First we have to read Luke 12:15 and then you have to get dinner ready.

Cleetus: Awright, then. After we's meet Luke at 12:15, what’s say we fry up a juicy squirrel from the backyard!?

Rod (turning to Tod): I’m scared, Tod. Is God testing us?

Tod: I hope so. This man is what daddy would call a primitive pagan waste of space.

(at Cleetus’ house, kids running around crazy)
Flanders: (making frightened noises) Now kids, I didn’t say play time I said prayer time.

Brandine: Theys don’t know no prayers.

Flanders: They don’t? Oh, may Jesus have mercy on this house.

Brandine: Jesus? Why, he’s that immigrant fellow who we gets our tomaters from! He ain’t got no reason to hate us.

Flanders: (sighs) Good lord, this place must be sinking deeper into hell.

Brandine: You’s right there (stomps on the ground, house shakes and sinks further down). Now it’s time to hit the bedroom (points at big doghouse with mattress in it). We’s need a smart, city-type youngun and you looks like you got a great genes pool.

(Flanders screams and runs off)
Flanders: I’ve tried to lead by example but... they don’t even have a church for miles around and there’s no car. We have to ride a warthog just to get down to the river for bathing time. This is my only communication with the outside world (holds up battered license plate and broken 1980s cellular phone).

Cleetus: Well, sure is a purdy old shack. But Ned sure has some crazy habits (holds up deodorant and shaving cream). He’s a strange one, he is. And his kids theys don’t have no idea how to save da valuables (holds up a container full of trash found on the sidewalk).

Homer: (laughs) Stupid Flanders. Hey, that explains all those vans and cables that were there. Hehehe, much cheaper than going to the electronics store (pans out to reveal living room is full of camera lights, various TV film equipment, cables and tripods holding various household appliances).

Grandpa: You with your brain fixated on that idiot box. One of my neighbours at the Retirement home has a nephew who can help you out. HE’S doing something worthwhile with his life. Maybe you can at least be a real master of the household before your kids bail out on you and your wife leaves ya for some young buck. (hands him card)

Homer: Morty the Mortician’s Funeral Parlour? You’ve been making plans behind my back!?... Oh, and this is the wrong card.

Grandpa: Oh, here you go (hands him the right one)
Homer: Chuck Larson, former drill sargent, fatherly instructor at Gold’s Gym and part-time manicurist. (Homer stands up) I’ll do it! Thanks for the advice, dad (walks off)

Grandpa: Uh oh, temporary paralysis again (he slides off the couch and falls down)

(the next day, Bart & Lisa watching TV, they find Grandmpa)
Grandpa: Oh, good, finally. Please kids, just poke me with my cane (they poke him and he gets up) Well, what's for dinner?

Bart: Grandpa, it's 4 P.M. the day after.

Grandpa: Ooo, what am I doing here then? It's that time of week where us folks at the retirement home go on a field trip to the drug store. (he leaves)

Krusty: Hey kids, guess what? This is our last show before Krusty gets a 2 week holiday. Just going in for a little repair on the plastic surgey snafu from last month you might've read about in Us Weekly... Lousy, cheap Hollywood cosmetic surgeons.

(smiling, begins talking weird) Oh great, it’s frozen again. Ugggh, anyway here’s Itchy & Scratcy (Turns around to have a cigarette, accidentally swallows it due to his facial muscular problems and begins choking on it as stagehands rush in to give him the heimlick)

(I&S is a cartoon called “In Cat’s Blood,” spoofing the Truman Capote book and this is a take on the gallows scene from Capote. Everyone is crowded around the gallows where they go to hang Perry Smith. Scratchy is the guy being hanged, Itchy has glasses and slicked back hair with a drink in his hand like Capote. Before they put the bag on his head, Itchy runs over to the area and says “No, wait!” He goes up to Scratchy and Scratchy says “Thank you for being the only friend I have!”

Itchy says “You’re welcome” but then splashes his drink into Scratchy’s eyes but it turns out to be acid thus burning his eyes out, then he pulls out an ice cube that he pressed down on to reveal it's an ice pick -much like a switchblade- and he stabs Scratchy with it. Then he ties Scratchy’s neck, legs and arms to ropes, takes the slack from each and ties them to a bull outside who he whips, the bull runs off and begins to stretch Scratchy who then is snapped like a slingshot up through the roof and up into the sky.

A battered Scratchy thankfully lands in a hot air balloon and he is relieved but then screams as an airplane’s jet propellers eat the balloon right up with Scratchy inside. Everyone outside below, including Itchy, then gleefully party while dancing in the rain of blood and gore. Then Itchy says “Free first editions for everyone” as he throws out copies of his book that say “In Cat’s Blood” by Truman Capitchy).

(Bart & Lisa laugh heartily as Homer walks by with a gym bag, wearing a headband tight XL t-shirt and sweat pants)
Bart: Whoa, dad! I thought you weren’t on parole anymore. What kind of community service they got you doing now?

Homer: Shutup, boy.

Lisa: (shocked) It looks he like he’s going to work out at a gym.

Bart: With that outfit? I'd say more like going to try shed some pounds as one of Richard Simmons foodbag dancers.

Homer: (chewing on a chicken wing all of a sudden then he gets upset) I'll foodbag you! Why you little... (chokes him)

Bart: (gasping out words, gagging in between) But... that... makes... me... proud (Homer begins easing up)... Of you.

Homer: Oh. Really? You mean it?

Bart: Yeah (pause). It tells me you’re clearly aware of your monstrous weight problem.

(Homer stops smiling and gets an angry face again)
Homer: Grrrrr!!!

(chases Bart through the living room until Homer stops when Marge walks up causing him to improvise his reasoning, yelling upstairs “Don’t run away, son! I just wanted to hug you for the A you got in your... uh, weather experiment... thingy... your teacher told me when I found her passed out on the floor at Moe’s!”)

Marge: Oh, good for Bart. That’s very sweet of you, Homey. (begins giggling) What’s with the getup (giggles again)?

Homer: Aw geez, I’m getting mocked at every turn. This is why I’m going out in the first place.

Marge: Going where? (suspicious) And what for?

Homer: Oh nothing, it’d just flair up that PMS of yours again.

(Marge does her trademark disapproving groan)
Homer: (gets his shirt caught on a nail) D’oh! This is the last time I shop at Costco on 50% off day. Look at this crap (begins pulling on a thread and the whole T-shirt falls to shreds)

Marge: Oh come on. I give you gym equipment for Christmas nearly ever year and you promise to wear it but you never do.

Homer: Please, Marge. Don’t give me that. It’s the same old (as he rambles Marge opens the closet and boxes of clothes pour out. Marge stands impatiently tapping her foot) excuses from... you... You always... Oh fine you win! (Homer grabs a box to go change)

(now changed Homer walks out the front door)
Marge: Will you be back for dinner? I’m making three-meat, three-cheese, three-sauce lasagna just for you!

Homer: (drools) Oh yeah. (snaps out of it, then regretfully says) No, sorry. I’ve gotta stick to my guns here. Just leave 3/4 of what you make in the oven and I’ll eat it when I get home in the morning.

Marge: Morning? But it's only 5 in the afternoon right now.

Homer: Uh, yeah. It’s an intense workout.

Marge: Oh my. Try not to have any heart attacks or chest pains. Remember what Dr. Hibbert says, if you feel dizzy count to 10 and take a cold shower.

Homer: But that’s what Dr. Nick said.

Marge: Dr. Nick, Dr. Hibbert. What’s the difference anymore?

(Homer driving to the gym listening to satellite radio, the song is just a series of high-pitched opera singing and weird Italian wording and sounds of sinks and toilets flushing)

Radio DJ (in that distinctive Harry Shearer voice if you can imagine for a moment): And that of course was the rare 20-minute alternate take of “Bohemian Rhapsody” recorded by Queen in a washroom stall during a tour stop in Wales back in 1974.

Homer: Wow, I can hear almost anything I want on this new doohickey. Hehe, who doesn’t have a show on Satellite radio? (begins flipping channels, one is introduced as “The King Biscuit Hans Moleman Flower Power Hour”)

Moleman: (in his old, slow manner) Well. This delightful Chipmunks song hit the charts in the summer of 1971. Alvin had recently checked out of rehab, and... oops. Oh dear (sound of mike falling and hitting Moleman) Oh no. (then we see Moleman on the floor in the studio) The microphone has pinned me to the floor again. My engineer and producer appear to have fallen asleep. Oooh, somebody’d better get here in and help me. At least in the next 10 minutes or I start developing blood clots.

(Homer pulls into Gold’s Gym and walks in looking around at the various rooms for courses; one door reads “The Barry Bonds Super Strength-Training Experience” and inside Homer sees tables with various chemical products, syringes, pill containers/jars strewn around but just then some guy comes by smiling defensively as he puts sheets over the incriminating evidence and he shuts the door).

(Another open door reading “This Hurts Me a Lot More Than it Hurts You: The Masochist’s Guide to Getting Fit” reveals teachers demonstrating bench press)
Teacher: Now, if you want your partner in this to really feel the burn, make sure the bar goes right down across the face where the razor blades can do the real damage.

Capt. McCallister: Gar! But what about if ye be wanting to use yer bar on a killer whale that ye nary see in the weight room?

Other teacher (with several stitches and wearing some casts and splints) walks over): You’re in the wrong class, Captain. You want “Seafaring 101: The Art of Using Weights Underwater” in the pool one floor up (water begins leaking down) Uh oh, another crack in the floor.

McCallister: Arrr, sounds like an adventure 20,000 leagues under the deep end.

(Homer finds a door saying “Becoming Master of the Household, aka Learning how to Stop Being a Pansy Dad”)
Homer: Pansy? Oh, that’s not me. I guess this is the wrong one.

Chuck Larson: Homer Simpson? Welcome. You’re 5 minutes late, but your grandpa told me to expect that.

(He’s standing in front a group of students sitting on the mats that includes Flanders, Cleetus, Apu, Wiggum, Burns w/Smithers of course, Kirk Van Houten, Barney-don’t worry I’ll explain it later)

Homer: You know who I am? Oh my God! You’re the man who’s been sending me those strange man-crush letters!

Larson: Uh, no. That’d be MacNamera over there! (points to a guy waving longingly at Homer, winking)

Homer: (now not so worried about that) Oh, whatever. Sorry about that. How did you know it was me?

Larson: Oh your grandpa also told me to watch for the guy who looked like him but younger, less wrinkly, bald and sporting 40 more pounds.

Homer: I’m surprised my dad even knew that much about me! Hey wait, you were a drill sergant, weren’t you?

Larson: Correct. I can also do your nails for you... If... If you’re into that kinda thing. Like MacNamera over there.

Homer: Sir, no, sir!

Larson: (chuckles a bit) Good one, Homer. But you don’t need to be like a soldier of the army or anythi-

Homer: Permission to speak, sir!

Larson: Homer you don’t-

Homer: Sir, thank you, sir! (thinking “Oh no, he’s getting mad. He’s gonna make you scrub the floor with your toothbrush. Let’s think here!”)

Larson: Look, can you just-

Homer: Order understood (runs over to equipment) 10 pull-ups pronto! (Homer attempts one, sweating profusely, grunting, wheezing, etc.) Al-most there! (pulls the entire contraption down nearly breaking it)

Larson: (smacks his forehead) This guy’s a father!? What’s sad is that he’s the most surprisingly unfit person to be a dad so far.

(everyone's confused, they look over at Kerney)
Kerney: Meh, you’d be surprised how often I hear that.

Desperado
01-28-2006, 05:59 PM
I liked the treasure marked "For Mr. Hoffa" and some other jokes that were made. Some of the Homer dialouge didn't seem in character but besides that it was great. :D

King Kong, er, Homer
01-28-2006, 07:15 PM
I liked the treasure marked "For Mr. Hoffa" and some other jokes that were made. Some of the Homer dialouge didn't seem in character but besides that it was great. :D

Yeah, it's a work-in-progress. The Homer stuff can get better no doubt. What stuff did you find most out-of-character? I just thought I had to work in a Husband Swap with Cleetus and Flanders. It may seem long and off-topic but it was fun to write.

Desperado
01-28-2006, 07:52 PM
The Husband Swap thing was good. The people aren't really out of character, some of the dialouge just doesn't seem to fit.

King Kong, er, Homer
02-06-2006, 09:11 PM
bump

Nebuchanezzar
02-06-2006, 11:07 PM
I liked the Lenny Carl banter, it's always good.

Stratman
03-06-2006, 08:25 AM
I certainly enjoyed reading it.

I think you could perhaps tone down Grandpa's dagnammits. And I though the long exchange about school between Homer and Lisa was a bit off. It just doesn't feel like something Homer would say.

But besides that, I can't wait to read more.

King Kong, er, Homer
03-06-2006, 05:19 PM
I certainly enjoyed reading it.

I think you could perhaps tone down Grandpa's dagnammits. And I though the long exchange about school between Homer and Lisa was a bit off. It just doesn't feel like something Homer would say.

But besides that, I can't wait to read more.

Yeah, I've been busy but I should get on that. Next act should deal with Homer going to the gym for this seminar then he becomes more disciplined, we see the family's reaction, etc. In my previous fanscript, I didn't get enough good Burns or Skinner stuff in or any Apu, Barney, Moe, or intelligable pre-Scully/Jean II Ralph (though I did give him the line when crunched between a mob "Aahh... It's too crowded. I can't scratch my bum or pick my nose. (looks down) Oh wait, Mr. Garden Gnome is doing it for me! Hi Gnomey!"). We'll see what I can come up with.

Stratman
03-07-2006, 12:50 AM
I'd be more than happy to beta it for you.

And I love that Ralph dialogue.

King Kong, er, Homer
03-11-2006, 02:20 AM
I've got so much material, no doubt a few minutes would be cut from this if it were a real episode. I added and subtracted with the 1st act and will do the same with the 2nd act tomorrow. I retracted it but it will be back up tomorrow with minor changes and more stuff added on to what I originally had posted here. But not now, cause I have to go to bed. Until then, look at the revised 1st act. Sure, it's bigger than time would allow but no harm in having backup material, right?

King Kong, er, Homer
03-14-2006, 12:55 AM
bump

note: not sure if i had to do this since I edited two previous posts I made.

Stratman
03-14-2006, 08:38 AM
Very well done! I'll post my thoughts when I get a chance.

King Kong, er, Homer
03-15-2006, 01:09 AM
(Act 2)

(Homer woozily gets up and runs into Flanders)
Homer: Wow, it's a good thing no one got hurt. Then you'd really have a bill on your hands.

Larson: Believe me, Homer. This thing costs more than your life.

Homer: It does? Lousy insurance company.

Homer: (unexcitedly) Oh, hi Flanders. Wait. Flanders? What the hell do you need to improve your parenting for?

Flanders: Oh gosh, Homer. I'm here more to become more God-like in behaviour and physique. You know, infallable? Y'see, unfortunately, the boys are having doubts that God created men in his image after that Husband Swap with the hick over there (points to Cleetus next to him)

Cleetus: And my little critters wants me to get some bibles so’s they can learn how to read! But I ain't man enough to's admit I'm a litterer (meant to say illiterate).. So’s instead I wants to learn how ta teach em to be tough.

Flanders: And to be honest, I could use less body fat. Say Homer, y’think 3% is a little excessive? Cause I sure do.

Homer: (looks at him with a blank expression, says w/enthusiasm) I drink 3% milk.

Barney: Hey Homer! Don’t tell Mr. Larson I’m not really a dad. It’s just I want to learn how to say no to my wife.

Homer: But you’re not married either.

Barney: Tell that to her (burps)! (points to bottle of duff, Barney begins having imaginary dialogue) I told you, sweetie. He’s Homer. My best friend since high school. How can you forget? He’s the one who introduced us to each other.

Larson: Now, we’re going to get into the psychological side of things a bit here. Professor Frink will help us out.

Frink: Hhhmmm, nn-hey! Thank you, Chuck. Now you are all here to try and become more stern fathers I would imagine.

Van Houten: Woah, woah braniac. More stern? What the heck am I doing here? I want Millhouse to like me more, not hate me cause I’m some hard ass. I mean, for crying out loud. I was expecting something reassuring like “Buy him more presents” or "Treat him like he's special and not just another ordinairy kid" but I guess not. What a waste of time (walks out).

Frink: Well yes. Anyway, let’s talk about the mentality of a son or daughter intimidated by their dad what with the yelling and the screaming and the imposing paranoia, the 6 A.M. wake up calls, the teasing, the germ lab experiment gone horribly wrong and the verbal abuse. OH WHY DADDY? WHY!!!? Nnyhaven! Oh, I didn’t know the ions were positvely charged,

(makes weird Frink nervous tics, runs off distraught)
Larson: Uh-huh. Don’t worry people, this happens every once in a while. I'll go try to talk him down.

(students are working out, Burns trying to do 10 lbs. on a chest press but can’t so Smithers lifts the weights on the machine for him)
Larson: Good, Mr. Burns. Wait, do you even have a son?

Burns: Yes, although we've been estranged nearly all his life. I'm here for the psychological hypnosis so I can forget I'm a padre at all. That is precisely why I'm enrolled in this educational forum.

Larson: Ok, to each his own I guess. But you think you could lift a little more than 10 pounds?

Burns: Oh, why of course. How does a healthy 120 kilograms sound, Mr. Physical health developmentologist (whispers under his breath to Smithers) Put your confounded spine into it, Smithers.

(Burns lifts and appears to be doing it, then Smithers collapses in pain)
Smithers: Oooohh, ow. I think I tore a muslce in my forearm.

Larson: Wait a minute, what's he doing here? I can’t pass you for a stunt like this, Mr. Burns. You’re going to have to (Burns hands him a wad of bills) move on to the leg station, good work sir!

Burns: Excellent. Come Smithers, you can still use your infernal legs.
Smithers: THEN can we go to the hospital?

Burns: Yes of course. Unless you fail at the cubicle chambers for leg, abdomen or stationary cycle rotomanual peddler that is.

(Smithers groans in agony and turns to see the weird MacNamara guy waving at him)
Smithers: (mutters) Foul temptress. Do your worst.

(Larson walks over to the excercise bike station where Wiggum is slumped over on the machine, barely peddling, Larson goes in and reads 10:00 and counting)

Wiggum (in between panting): Two things.... Do we... get... a snack break... and... does the... vending... machine... take 50 cent coins?

Larson: No and no. 10 minutes? Not bad for a Springfield cop I suppose. Oh wait, it’s at level 2. That’s, that’s really bad for... any human being really.

(Homer is also exhausted and Larson reads 11:00 and counting)
Larson: Well, at least you did better than Chief Wiggum. No wait, you’re at level 1. You know, I should really look at the level before making an assumption. (almost impressed at how bad that is) Wow, fascinating. Did you grow up next to a factory, Homer?

Homer: Does a paper mill count?

Larson: Yes.

Homer: Then no. Woohoo! 20 calories burned. What’s that like? A plate of nachos?

Larson: I’d say more like a garden salad.

Homer: Wow, I never eat those. So it must be a lot of calories. You know, I think I'm gonna try for more (starts peddling)(whipsers to himself) Oh yeah.. Come on, Homer... Feel the burn... To the extreme... Come on, work those internal organs... Yes, yes. Keep on trucking!

(Apu walks over)
Apu: Oh, Mr. Larson thank you ever so much. I can already feel the fat dripping out.

Larson: Yeah, it’s called sweat.

Apu: Oh, so that is what you call it? I finally figure out after all these years in America.From now on, no longer will I eat deep fried curry wrapped in mountain goat liver during coffee breaks.And I can’t wait to get control of my prissy wife and 8 children.

Larson: Eight? (muttering to himself) Gosh that sounds impossible.
Well good luck with that one Apu. (turns back around) Wow, you learn fast, Homer. Homer?

Homer (slumped over again): 9, 10. May I have a cold shower?

Larson: Cold? (Larson shakes his head looking down at his clipboard) Well, we wait till the end of the lesson but if you want to have it then, by all means have a cold (looks up) show- (looks around)

(but Homer has already run into the shower and you hear a “aaaahhh” then teeth chattering from the cold water)

(later in the session)
Larson: Well, 1 A.M. Time’s up! Keep up on your excercises and read pages 10-35 in the textbook cause our meeting next week will show you how to make sure your family follows and does exactly what you say!

(next shot shows the class lying tuckered out on the mats, moaning. Except Ned and Mr. Burns, with Smithers sagging behind him)

Burns: Hmph. Look at all these cockamamie 20th century housewives. What a soft bunch of over-gluconated cookie dough tubs these men are!

Flanders (walking past Burns and talks to him): Well, I guess age is just a number, eh? The two oldest guys can actually get up and walk.

Burns: What? I’m not in 1st place? Monty Burns does not share the spoils of victory with Billy Bible-Thumper or Wally Worshipper. This is completely unacceptable! Smithers, hop to it.

(Smithers sighs and goes over to Flanders and looks around for a weapon. He, for some reason, decides on a water fountain and he rips it off the ground then bashes Ned in the knee with it but it also lands on Smithers' foot too, causing him to hop around in pain, moaning "Oh, even this is a bit too much for one man to sacrifice for another")

Barney: Hey Homer, can I get a ride with you to Moe’s? I took the bus to get here and I could really go for some beer... now. I mean (desperately) RIGHT NOW!!! (grabs Homer by the collar of his shirt as he yells it)

(Larson walks by so Barney changes his demeanor)
Barney: Cause I gotta kiss my daughter goodnight. She's at my apartment cause I get visitation rights for the weekend.

Larson: Aw, that's a cute story. Carpooling, huh? Yeah, me too. My humvee is being fixed up in a body shop... still. Typical of these ridiculous auto workers taking forever like they've got all the time in the world. And I have to pay for the damages even though it was the other driver was the one who cut me off and made me go and ram him off the bridge. Anyway, my uncle's here now.

(pan over to Old Jewish man waiting at the door)
Old Jew: Sure, sure. Keep talking. Like I got all night! Come on! Big tough schmo you are. Enough with da chit-chat, sonny boy. I should be sleeping right now. Oi, hurry up before the nyquil kicks in. (gets groggy) Oh boy, that’s gonna be sooner than later.

(Barney and Homer are at Moe’s)
Homer: I’m telling you Moe. If only you had a family, this course would be great for you. I can tell that, other than the painful side effects, this is gonna be something that improves my life. This time for the better!

Moe: Uh, yeah you sorta implied dat with what you said before. To tell you the truth, I don’t likes the sounds of that. You and Barney not being miserable and fed up with the world takes away much needed business. And who will I feel a common, screwed-up bond with then, huh? Larry? Lenny? Carl? No, dey’s all either funny drunks or living double lives I don’t ever get to hear about.

Lenny: (drunk) Yeah, I’m happily married too. Through and through. Don’t let nobody tell you otherwise.

Carl: (drunk too, sarcastically) Yeah what a great gal Francine is, throwing out your cable, cutting off your membership to the Cuban-cigar-of-the-month club. Quite a woman, ain’t she?

Lenny: Hey, shadup Carl! Her name isn’t even Francine. You got a loud mouth to say such stupid things. If it wasn’t attached to a face so pretty, I’d put my fist right through it.

Carl: Hehe, right! Even Lenny can admit I’m handsome! Whataboutchu, Homer?

Homer: Yeah, Carl, we get it. Gosh, you’re a chick magnet, ok? There! Yeesh, talk about an ego... Moe! Hurry up with my beer! Aw, why is it always me that's gotta wait. I don't care about anyone else's beer, just give it to me. Gimme gimme!

Moe: Alright, quit your whining. Here you go (gives him his beer). Well, if it’ll make you a better parent go ahead and do it Homer. But please, don’t quit your day job! For me?

Homer: Nuclear technician? Why would I do that?

Moe: No, the other ya dummy.

Homer: Oooohh, borderline alcoholic. Gotcha.

Moe: I’m kinda worried this course here might work for Barney. He’s got this gleam in his eyes I ain't never seen before other than when he's glassy eyed drunk or wearing his contacts. Which it looks like he's doing neither of right now. Oh, oh wait. Yeah, I see dat gleam now. I know these things, Homer.

Homer: Yeah, I guess you can see it from a certain angle.

Moe: It really looks like he's really trying to say goodbye to his sweet old booze mistress. Not only would dat affect my liveliehood, the shareholders in MoeTavern Ltd. will sell off if they know he’s sober again. When he was off beer, I had to stock up on crap like soft drinks, coffee and cheap brandy just for him. Or Zima. Typical hooch. (getting frantic) But Homer, you gotta understand. They put tariffs on dat stuff! I don’t ever wanna have to go through that again!

Homer: Yeah, and those guys in dark alleways asking for favours!

Moe: Nah, you’re thinking of drug dealers. You really gotta quit watching Law & Order, Homer. It's distorting your mind.

Homer: I can’t help it sometimes. NBC has a way to control my mind (hangs his head in shame)

Carl: Eh, don’t worry, Moe. If that ever happens, you’ll make a great panhandler. You always been able to exshell at whatever ya doing!

Lenny: He’s right. You’d make a great bum!

(Moe stars blankly at them)
Moe: Are you two gonna leave yet or is my shotgun gonna do it for ya? Pick your poison, fellas.

Carl: Ok then. (laughing) Got any arsenic?

Lenny: (laughing) Yeah, I’ll take venom!
(shotgun clicks and their eyes widen in fear)

(The next morning, Homer walks out to retrieve the Saturday morning paper at 8 a.m.)
Homer: Ok, so what if I barely got any sleep? But this is where cracking the whip begins and letting these ungrateful slobs rule my life ends! Once I'm in miltary shape and have gotten through the text book, then the fun begins (rubbing his hands gleefully)

(looks over at someone crawling out from the bushes, it’s a dishevelled hungover Lenny)

Homer: Oh, hey Lenny.

Lenny: Wha? Aw, geez not again. Good thing I wasn’t wearing my new Guccis when I vomitted.

Homer: Yeah, and at least this time you woke up in our garden. You shoulda seen it last night. This time Moe actually fired a warning shot.

Lenny: Whoa, really? No empty threats for once? Who got it on camcorder?

Homer: Sorry, we forgot to bring one.

(car pulls up and a woman steps out but only her feet are revealed and under her we see Lenny kneeling on the ground looking worried as Homer watches on, we hear the voice of Lenny’s wife)

Lenny’s wife: Leonard!? What is it this time? One more strike and you’re banned from seeing Carl for a whole month.

Lenny: But you can’t do that Francine, it wasn’t his fault. Right, Homer?

Homer: (mutters indecisively) Well you know, you... uh, he... we, yeah. It's... uh, um. Whew (begins sweating nervously)

Lenny: See? Besides, I’ll be around him somehow. We work at the same place in case you forgot Francine!

Lenny’s wife: It’s not that simple. I’ll just tell Mr. Burns you’re in AA again.

Lenny: Again? But I ain't never been to AA before.

Lenny's wife: As if Mr. Burns is going to know that! Now come with me. You’ve been a very bad boy.

(Lenny is seen dragged off into the car by his wife, shouting “Noooooo!”)

(3 Saturdays later; Homer rushes into all the bedrooms at 8 A.M. yelling “Wake up time!” with an airhorn blaring too, then they all walk out into the hallway much annoyed)

Bart: Ow, my eardrums. What gives, Homer? It's 8 in the morning in case you're clock is broken again.

Homer: Oh it's fine. Working like a charm. From now on, we're gonna shape up in this house. We're all gonna get fit... like me.

(they all laugh)
Lisa: Sorry, dad. But go ahead. It's your self-fulfilling prophecy, so hold on to it.

(Homer then gets down and does 1-handed pushups, then gets on his back and lifts Grandpa like a dumbell with one hand)
Grandpa: Oh boy, I really should stay away from here more often.

Homer: Suggestion noted (runs down the stairs, throws grandpa out the front door)

Grandpa: Ah, I was gonna go catch the 8:15 streetcar anyway.

(the family looks stunned)
Marge: Oh my. So this is what you've been holed up in the basement for every day? And you've been going to a gym all this time. Wow Homie, you've gotten into shape... again. This could be a great thing for our relationship.

Homer: You're right. By the way. Tomorrow could you work on your crunches and cook up a protein-heavy lunch in between church?

Marge: (a bit amorous) Um, I was thinking more like...

Homer: Carbo-heavy? Great! Takes more time, but if you want to, I appreciate the enthusiasm.

Bart: What the hell's going on here, man?

Homer: I'd say about 1 less hour of TV a day for you and Lisa. (looks at Maggie) And 1 pacificier a day for you (Homer throws out extras, Maggie stands upset with her arms crossed) Hey! Don't make me put limits on that liquid mush you eat every day too. Mmmm, liquid mush.

Lisa: Wait a minute here. Dad, what exactly are you trying to accomplish? Turn the house into a brutal repressive boarding school, full of gruelling mental and physical degredation? Well, at least a boarding school without the roving hands of priests or the swinging rulers of nuns?

Homer: (a bit dumbfounded, then says in his overly delightful way) Lisa, daddy's still going to let you play your sax. Come on, kids. It's not all bad. We can have fun. You don't have to listen to instructions from me when you can get it from Handy Dandy (pulls out his hand with lips on it and makes puppet voice) Hey there, boys and girls. It's your old buddy Handy Dandy. Let's do something really cool, how about some health shakes and then a 2000m dash around the neighbourhood? That Homer really is a true man's man, isn't he? Six-pack abs for all!

Bart: Yeah, well let's see if Handy can hand-le this (runs downstairs to try and get out the doors but they're all locked, goes back upstairs to escape through his room's window)

Homer (as Bart runs by panicking): That's right boy, keep those legs pumping! Heheh, he shouldn't underestimate his old man so much. Little does he know getting away is like finding a needle in a smokestack. Or something like that.

(in the distance, Bart is heard saying "woohoo!", Homer watis patiently smiling for a few moments of silence)
Lisa: Um, dad... I think Bart escaped.

(just then, the two goons- usually at Burns plant- escort Bart back to Homer)
Homer: Thought you could get away, huh? Well, I've got all my bases covered. By the way Marge, all those bases are thankfully covered by Chuck Larson's security program.

Marge: Well, I knew there would be at least one positve about this.

Homer: (mutters) All but 1000 bucks.

Marge: What was that?

Homer: Oh nothing. Just doing my... uh, daily prayer. (turns to goons with Bart) Good work, guys. Shift's over? Well, see ya tomorrow.

(Bart runs for window again, Homer still looks calm as he pulls out a remote control that he presses, Bart is seen crawling down the drainpipe but a force field all of a sudden prevents him from going further down)

Bart: Oh, what now? I'll just have to jump the stupid thing. Hopefully I won't break any ankles and I can flee to Millhouse's till this blows over.

(He goes back into his room, takes a running start, then leaps only to be bounced back through the windown and right at the rest of the family's feet by a clear mesh netting)
Homer: So, anyone else feel like a hero today?

Marge: Ok, ok. Say, can I see that for a moment Homer?

Homer: Sure, go ahead.

(Marge gets a mild shock)

Homer: Heehee, you really bought it Marge (begins pointing and laughing gleefully at her) Only my fingerprints are allowed to touch this thing. Oooh, it's so easy even a guy like me can do this stuff. (stares to the sky) Bless you, Chuck. My guiding light.

Lisa: I'm pretty sure he's not an angel, dad.

Homer: Can't you at least let me pretend?

Marge: (wincing, grasping her hand) Ouch. What in the name of the pope is your father thinking? (turns to the kids) This time, someone's done the thinking for him.

(they all start doing pushups muttering their complaints under their breath as Homer stands proudly watching, counting and timing them)
(end act 2)

Stratman
03-15-2006, 07:35 AM
Okay, here are my thoughts on your script. It's very funny, and the story is interesting, but I think you could perhaps work more on establishing that the family isn't giving Homer the respect he deserves.

Homer: No, it’s has nothing to do with my ever-improving magic skills (Homer flashes some cards). But the offer is still open for you to crawl inside this picnic basket (holds it up) and I’ve got the ginsu sword all ready! (happily gestures) Huh?

Perhaps you could have Marge sarcastically say ''sure, Homer, I'll get in the basket'' or something like that. Perhaps you could something like that for each character to clearly establish a lack of respect.

And here are some random things you may want to consider.

Homer: Then no. Woohoo! 20 calories burned. What’s that like? A plate of nachos?

Larson: I’d say more like a garden salad.

Homer: Wow, I never eat those. So it must be a lot of calories. You know, I think I'm gonna try for more (starts peddling)

Perhaps Homer could egg himself on? You could include this line of dialogue; ''feel the burn, Homer. Feel the burn.''

Apu: Oh, so that is what you call it? I finally figure out after all these years in America. From now on, no longer will I eat my Kwik-e-mart's product during coffee breaks.

If you wanna' get really picky, that line about Apu eating his own merchandise may be questionable because I seem to recall him saying something about never eating the store merchandise.

If you wanted to you could shorten the script, and you could certainly compact a lot of dialogue but other that you did a great job!

King Kong, er, Homer
04-13-2006, 12:26 AM
Okay, here are my thoughts on your script. It's very funny, and the story is interesting, but I think you could perhaps work more on establishing that the family isn't giving Homer the respect he deserves.



Perhaps you could have Marge sarcastically say ''sure, Homer, I'll get in the basket'' or something like that. Perhaps you could something like that for each character to clearly establish a lack of respect.

And here are some random things you may want to consider.



Perhaps Homer could egg himself on? You could include this line of dialogue; ''feel the burn, Homer. Feel the burn.''



If you wanna' get really picky, that line about Apu eating his own merchandise may be questionable because I seem to recall him saying something about never eating the store merchandise.

If you wanted to you could shorten the script, and you could certainly compact a lot of dialogue but other that you did a great job!

Thanks for the constructive criticism. Yeah, it would be great one day if I could write for the Simpsons. I haven't gotten on to act 3 yet what with finals and all! I don't feel like shortening anything but I think I'll make some changes to the lines to show the family showing disrespect plus I'll amend that Apu line. I completely forgot that episode where he claimed to not eat his own product. I think I'll bold the changes so people can see.