Corrupt a wish game!

[thatgamerguy]

This is simple if you don't know. The person above you makes a wish then you make it backfire and then make a wish. You only get one wish NO EXCEPTIONS!
Example:
Wish: I wish for a car.
Corruption: The car runs you over.

:MrT: I pitty the FOO who doesn't play this game! :MrT:

[EspanolBot]

It's been done before.

[George]

i'll play despite espanolBot's comment, which happens to be true.

I wish for fries and a naked woman

[D DEBBS]

The fries may scald the naked woman, and she will sue you for damages.
____________________________________________________________ _

I wish I didn't have facial hair-I always pluck it every single day!

[EspanolBot]

Wish granted, you're on chemo.

I wish for a five hundred foot tall statue of himself which speaks and fires fire from it's eyes.

[Semaj]

You get burnt to a crisp while adjusting the fire flamers one day.

I wish somebody would tell me why the fuck the Bills have to fuck up everything at the worst possible moment! :angry:

[George]

wish granted- THEY'RE A BUNCH OF RETARDS!!!
I wish for a dumbell, whatever that is...

[ppoi307]

some one rings you

I'll have a #3, a large fries, and a soda

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but now you're obese due to the fast food and in a few years, you'll have high blood pressure and heart problems.
______________________________________

I wish I had the $ to renew my contact lenses.

[The Sovereign]

Every contact lense is destroyed by Ninja in a plot by China to make americans eyesight worse.

I wish I was 500 feet tall and made of 24 carat gold.

[George]

you can't move, you're a statue, you're INANIMATE!
i wish i'd weigh what i'm supposed to weigh.
corrupt that one, be-atch!

[D DEBBS]

You lose weight, but you wind up like that guy in the Stephen King novel, 'Thinner.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I didn't have to cook a three-hour roast tonight.

[George]

you don't cook, order chinese, and become a big fat bastard of an obese person!
ps: i have never read "thinner".
i wish i had a remote control that controls time.

[D DEBBS]

The remote control is Homer's toaster, it rains donuts, and your family now has forked tongues.
________
I wish I can finally lose the 25 lbs. my doctor wants me to lose.

[George]

damn you slightly overweight person!!!
you do, but ironically your doctor gains weight and you start calling him Piggy mcOink Oink c. O'Fatass.
wait a minute.
...
...
...

That's good for you! I suck at this game.
I wish d debbs would find other forums to unleash her unstoppable good will and rain on peple with good spirit...

[Semaj]

She does, but now she never comes here anymore. :(

I wish my region would make up its mind about the weather; its been alternating between sun, rain, and snow this past week.

[CJman327]

Here's mine:

I wish for a big supply of burgers and fries, a hot girlfriend, the biggest TV ever, all the videogames in the world and that I was totally rich.:LOL:

[brody]

I wish for a big supply of burgers and fries, a hot girlfriend, the biggest TV ever, all the videogames in the world and that I was totally rich.

Granted, the burgers and fries are ice cold, your "hot" girlfriend is some ugly sunburned lady, the TV doesn't work, all video game systems break down, and you lose all your money playing craps in Vegas.

I wish I wasn't so cruel.

[D DEBBS]

People will think you're a wuss and they'll take advantage of you, so be the Carrie White you wanna be!
__________________

I wish my cat, Tyrant, will his IAMS instead of 'human food.'

OOPS!

I left out "I wish my cat, Tyrant, would EAT his IAMS instead of 'human food.'

[Semaj]

He gets pissed when you can't afford anymore IAMS.

I wish I was working for Disney.

[thatgamerguy]

Fine you work for disney but then kill you for discovering "The Truth..."

I wish I was the Frito Bandito!

[George]

You are but you get killed by, uh,... the burger burglar.

...
...
...
...


I wish I was in a famous band. With chicks throwing their clean, drier-warmed underwear at me. And by chicks I mean anyone over 16 and under 25.

[EspanolBot]

Wish granted, but you're the leader Singer in the Elton John Combo, so you don't really like the underwear like you used to.

I wish I was the Incredible Hulk.

[brody]

Granted, you get so angry, your pants come off, and you die from embarrasment.

I wish that I had more muscle.

[EspanolBot]

Wish granted but, but all the muscle mass you gain is centred in your left buttock cheek. Making sitting down awkward and embarassing for you and everyone else.

I wish for a map that shows the location of the Holy Grail, the Lost Ark etc.

[D DEBBS]

You get a copyright infringement notice from the 'demon lawyers' of George Lucas and Steven Speilberg.
______________

I wish today is December 1st-that's when I get paid.

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

Wish granted. You're paid $50 less than you owe.
-----------
I wish I worked with smarter people.

[D DEBBS]

They act smug a la Cliff Clavin on 'Cheers' or the smart kids from 'Bart the Genius'
____________________________________________________________ _________

I wish my bra fits me better (I lost weight and now it's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too big)

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

It fits perfectly now - you gained the weight back.
-----------
I wish that wasn't so predictable.

[D DEBBS]

People will pass on you and scoff you for being predictable
_________________________________________________
I wish it doesn't take me one hour to use the library's internet computers.

[Semaj]

It takes you TWO hours to use the library's Internet computers.

I wish I could try more flavored teas.

[D DEBBS]

You go on a caffeine high, and it takes the Betty Ford Clinic to bring you down.
____________________________________________________________ __________

I wish I got paid NOW!!!

[EspanolBot]

Wish granted, but your manager makes you do a demeaning dance before they give it to you.

I wish i knew everything.

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

Too much knowledge gives you a permanent headache.
---------------
I wish I could drink beer at work.

[Semaj]

You get a hangover, and your boss fires you anyway.

I wish this semester was over.

[EspanolBot]

Ok, this semester is over... It's over... FOREVER!

I wish I some head-ache pills.

[brody]

You get such a bad headache, that you forget how to take the pills, so you shove them up your butt, and you become constipated.

I wish I had every copy of The Bathroom Reader.

[D DEBBS]

You reside in yon can, and you will be found dead a la Elvis Presley.
_________________________________________________________

I wish I had a flat abdomen.

[The Sovereign]

Your cut in half by a large piece of metal.

I wish I had all the seasons of the simpsons on DVD.

[Semaj]

You accidentally break the discs when you load them in your DVD player.

I wish I had a year's supply of yummy lemon tea. :yummy:

[Gatorgod]

A bunch of Boston Tea Party revolutionarys toss the Lemon tea into the Harbor.

I wish a bird would clean my teeth :D

[CJman327]

The bird successfully cleans your teeth.

But later do you find out that the bird had a contagious deadly disease in the mouth.
-----------------------------------------
I wish all my wishes couldn't be corrupted.

I wish that I was a simpsons character!

[EspanolBot]

Wish granted, you're Hans Moleman. And oh look, it's Mr Burns and he says he wants some lucky charms!

I wish I was wealthy.

[D DEBBS]

Taxe$
_____

I wish I wasn't so sleepy.

[The Sovereign]

You can never sleep again.

I wish I was 6'10".

[Semaj]

You can't fit thru doors.

I wish bees didn't sting when they were angry.

[D DEBBS]

Okay...they'll sting when they're singing songs from 'Radio Disney!'
________________________________________________________

I wish I didn't have to get up from this computer to use the bathroom.

[The Sovereign]

You become clogged for the rest of your life.

I wish tomorrow was friday.

[Semaj]

It is, but since you forgot to update your calendar, it'll still be Monday.

I wish I could beat up the shithead(s) who's responsible for the Bills' losing streak.

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted! ..but you cant wash the smell of shithead off your fist for the rest of your life.

I Wish, I Wish, I Hadnt sat on that Fish!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/SantaGatorgod.jpg (http://gatorgod3000.tripod.com/SimpWalls/index.album?i=18)

[D DEBBS]

Cats-including-mine-will follow you.
_____________________________

I wish San Diego wasn't so far away from where I live 'cuz every time I drive up there for my skin patch study, I burn ga$.

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

San Diego grew wings, detached from Southern Cal, and just landed on top of your city - you're squished!

I wish the last 24 hours of my life were real.

[D DEBBS]

FOX cancels you and replaces you with reality TV
__________________________________________

I wish PBS would hurry up and make new episodes of 'Antiques Roadshow'

[Semaj]

They suck

I wish the War on Terrorism was over.

[D DEBBS]

Bush creates a NEW war to replace the old one!
________________________________________

I wish people weren't so hung up over what celebrities do

[The Sovereign]

Celebraties become hung up on what YOU do


I wish that I lived on pluto, and could survive.

[brody]

Wish granted, but Pluto is incredibly boring.

I wish that I had a crossbow.

[D DEBBS]

PETA would hate you IF you're Ted Nugent
____________________________________

I wish I can think of a wish for this message board.

[CJman327]

Wish granted. You have thought of a wish. But you forgot it. :LOL:

I wish I had an unlimited supply of wishes. :D

[Talking Pie]

Wish granted but one of them is to delete all of the wishes.

I wish I was happily married to Rachel McAdams forever.

[CJman327]

Wish granted. But it turns out it was a dude.

I wish I was a moderator on this website! :D

[Toli]

Wish granted but you ban everybody and they form a NoCJman327's club forum.

I wish KFC was healthy.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but now you grow feathers and have a red comb on top of your head.
____________________________________________________________ ___________

I wish I get $$$$$$$ for Christmas.

[jwbph]

The money is counterfeit.

I wish to have sex with Sarah Silverman.

[Talking Pie]

Wish granted but her boyfriend walks in on you two and he beats you to a bloody pulp.

I wish all reality tv shows were extinct.

[The mayor of Albuquerque]

Wish granted. All TV is gone now.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[brody]

Wish granted, you get eaten.......by a wiener dog!

I wish it was Kwanza everyday.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted...please pass the peanut soup! (My older brother had this when we was in Ghana.)
______________________________________

I wish the woman I consider my step-mother didn't fall and break her hip :( .

[Semaj]

She didn't break her hip; she broke her wrist.

I wish my one-month break would start already!

[jwbph]

you get fired/expelled

i wish i could play guitar like Duane Allman

[Talking Pie]

wish granted...you're only able to play with your toes.

I wish I lived closer to the beach in SoCal.

[D DEBBS]

You get jabbed by a floating hospital syringe.
________________________________________

I wish my high blood pressure symptions wopuld go away...they made me sick this morning!

[brody]

Wish granted, they won't bother you anymore, because you're dead.

I wish that Fox would cancel all their bad shows and keep all the good stuff.

[Talking Pie]

wish granted...the shows get low ratings and sinks the network into non-existance.

I wish that Angels GM Bill Stoneman would stop being lazy and get a home run hitter.

[Semaj]

He hits a home run, but gets expelled when the ball kills an outsider.

I wish I knew what I wanted for dinner.

[D DEBBS]

You want...DESSERT!
__________________

I wish I can get rid of my high blood pressure headache.

[CJman327]

Wish granted. But the medicine you took sends you into a hallougenic state, and you are put into an insane asylum. Only to take more not knowing what will occur, you murder someone and are put onto death penalty.'
_____________________________
I wish I was moderator on the NHC. :D

[Semaj]

A mod you are, but not a popular one.

I wish I could get my new Sega Dreamcast working.

[gangman]

your sega dreamcasts start to work but then it sucks you in and you forever are trapped in it and have to battle for your life!
---------------------------------------------------------
i wish i had the fastest computer laptop in the world!

[D DEBBS]

Granted...but it's so fast, the websites come and go, and you're more frustrated!

I wish I didn't have to see a doctor for my injured right hand, which I slipped and fell and hurt it on Christmas Eve.

[gangman]

granted but the wound turns infectious and you have to get it sawed off.

i wish i lived with the simpsons!

[Semaj]

You're now a Simpsons resident, but you go on a crazy adventure every other week.

I wish I lived in a pineapple under the sea.

[Lizard Queen]

...but all you could afford was a kiwi under the sea.

I wish someone would empty that dumpster outside.

[Willmak5389]

They empty the dumpster but spill something in the process and it smells even worse.

I wish that I could get a great job that pays well without much education.

[Lizard Queen]

you can - it's called diamond mining.

I wish I could afford those bad ass heels at the mall.

[brody]

Wish granted, right when you put them on, you step in dog doo.

I wish that my nano could hold more music.

[Lizard Queen]

you mod it - it does - it burst into flames.

I wish all bathrooms were genderless.

[gangman]

granted- but you start a war between both genders

i wish i was a guy by day but a stelth working for the government by night
DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!

[brody]

granted-but it's too dark outside and you walk into the road and get hit by a car.

[Toli]

I wish I could have sex with any women in the world.

[George]

wish granted, but you die.
i wish i was taller. slightly taller.

[brody]

Wish granted, none of your clothes fit you now.

I wish that I could meet Matt Groening.

[CJman327]

Wish granted. You meet Matt Groening and become best friends. You become the writer for The Simpsons. But Matt Groening fires you for too many crappy episodes. So you go out and get sad, sloppy, angry drunk. You run over Matt Groening and kill him. You are arrested and put on death penalty and you meet Matt Groening in Hell. It turns out he is the devil's co-assistant and tortures you forever in the afterlife. :devil:
__________________________________________
I wish that no one could ever corrupt my wishes again. :D

[gangman]

granted-but everyone kills you so you never post on this thread again!

i wish i was a millionaire and every day i would get $100000000000 from the lottery,stocks,book sales,simpsons handmade products and anything else i've got coming to me

[Semaj]

Wish granted, but none of those things make you ahppy, so you hang yourself.

I wish they found the cure for cancer.

[gangman]

granted-they use nanotechnologicy to cure cancer. but the nanobots run amok and start to infect pepole and eat away at them from the inside!

i wish i was wise and knew the meaning of life

[Toli]

Wish granted but you die a virgin.

I wish I could punch Donald Trump in the face.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but you get needless publicity and are stalk-a-razzied every second of the day!
________

I wish it was next week 'cuz I want to get my breast exam and Pap smear overwith!

[brody]

Wish granted, you now have breast cancer.

I wish that when I'm about to fart I could press a button to make it stop.

[Semaj]

Wish granted; you explode.

I wish my older dog would learn to be more friendly to visitors.

[Epsilon]

Wish granted, but your dog becomes so friendly with visitors that he goes and lives with them instead of you.

I wish I could go to Springfield and meet Lisa Simpson.

[brody]

Wish granted, you are in Springfield, Illinois, home of a prostitute named Lisa Simpson.

[Epsilon]

How exatly is that corrupting?

[box elder]

^ she robs you and stabs you to death

i wish i had a money bin a la scrooge mcduck

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but here comes the duck IRS!
_____________________________________

I wish I didn't have to see a doctor tomorrow for my hand, which I hurt on Christmas Eve.

[sidd]

you never see a doctor, but your hand becomes infected and must be removed.

i wish for a 12 inch pianist

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but Lorena Bobbitt comes with the 12 inch pianist!

I wish I didn't have to see a gynocologist tomorrow for a Pap smear!

[Semaj]

You don't, but succumb to breast cancer.

I wish reality didn't suck so much.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but you're the one that makes reality SUCK.

I wish ga$ wasn't so x-pen$ive.

[brody]

Wish granted, gas is now free. People come in mobs to the station and they run over you, and you die.


I wish everything bag that could happen to me happens.

[Willmak5389]

(I'm guessing you meant "bad")
It does.

I find a certified Simpsons' cel on the street that is in perfect condition.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but the FOX network hunts you down like an alledged theiving dawg and shoots ya!
_________

I wish libraries close at 10 at night like the one in downtown San Diego.

[Willmak5389]

They do, but they raise taxes to pay the librarians for staying longer.

I wish Matt Groening accepted one of my stories and used it as an episode

[Semaj]

A new episode it is, but most fans compare it to a Mike Scully story, and rate it 0/5.

I wish I was a King of the Hill writer.

[Willmak5389]

Wish Granted, but they take the show off the air just before your story goes on.

I wish I had most posts, like 10,000.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but NHC puts those dorky (sorry, Cape Coddah!) icons (like the lips if you're a female member) that signifies your acheivement.

I wish for a robot maid a la 'Rosie' on the 'Jetsons' so I can watch the Barrett-Jackson
Classic Car Auction on Speed TV and NOT miss anything!

[sidd]

you get the robot, but when you go to take a picture of it the flsh scrambles its circuits and it falls lifelessly on top of you crushing you in a most horrific way.

i wish for a turkey sandwich.... AND, i don't want any zombie turkey, i don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and no other funny stuff... GOT IT!

[Semaj]

A turkey sandwich...with rye bread.

I wish I found serenity.

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted: Serenity can be found at 'Blockbuster Video'
--------------------------------------------------------

I wish I wasn't an emotional wreck.

[AngryDad33]

Wish Granted but your so happy people walk all over you.

I wish My house gets sold right away.

[gangman]

wish granted:you sell it for free

i wish i could turn into the hulk when ever i wanted!

[D DEBBS]

Granted, but you have anger management problems and hafta see a shrink.

I wish I wouldn't have to worry so damned much.

[sidd]

you don't worry about anything, but soon forget to do everything... including breath

i wish for 70 virgins

[D DEBBS]

Wish granted, but they all wear chastity belts and forgot to bring the lock.
____________________________________________________________ __

I wish Calgon would take me away!

[Toli]

I wish they'd uncancell Futurama.

[Uncke Herb]

Granted but there will be more Family Guy than Futurama.

I wish for ice-cream.

[Talking Pie]

Wish granted...it's urine flavored

I wish Veronica Mars got better Nielsen ratings.

[D DEBBS]

^
Wish granted, but now Veronica Mars is shown on DIGITAL cable...and you only got BASIC!!!

I wish I didn't worry about things/people so much!

[sidd]

you don't worry so much, and the entire world goes to hell... urns out you were the only thing holding the world back from WW3

i wish for a beautiful, and willing, cast of hundreds of beautiful naked women to show up at my door

[Good Moleman To Robert]

Granted, except when the show up, you aren't home...so they leave

I wish for super powers!

[D DEBBS]

"With great power, comes greater responsibility"-Stan Lee
_________________________________________________

I wish my commute next week to San Diego didn't consume so much ga$

[sidd]

you get a brand new unicycle, and your car is sold for parts... no more gas need

i wish for cake... lots and lots of cake...mmmm....cake

[CJman327]

Wish granted. Your best friend in the army is hosting a party with his friends because they're coming home. You come to the party. Cake is dessert and everybody gets so full they can't eat dessert. You get the ENTIRE cake! You take it home and eat it all. But you and up dying of food poisoning because it turns out an evil Iraqi managed to disguise himself and poison the cake.
____________________________________________________

I wish I had an IQ of 200 and become famous for that and create the best computer ever in the world but still manage to be cool, wicked funny, not a nerd and still have girls like me. :D Oh yeah, and with some of my money I buy out Burger King and I am now the creator of The Simpsons. :D

[brody]

Wish granted, your computer company becomes corrupt and loses millions of dollars, and the Simpsons becomes awful and fans torch you to death.

I wish that I could turn invisible.

[Semaj]

You're now invisible, but when a fat man sits on you and has to fart...well, what does he care? He can't see you! :p

I wish my university's north campus wasn't so far away. It's three miles from the south campus. :(

[Gatorgod]

Granted! ~*KaZam*~ Your North campus is now 3 miles closer,.. but the rest of campus is destroyed by the earth quake and landslide from its rushing over to you :irked:

I wish I was taller

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/BabyGator_cry.gif

[CJman327]

Wish granted. In the near future, scientists invent a super-growth soda. You grow as high as the sky! But remember it's soda--you burp and you plummet towards Earth and destroy the asphalt and fall underground and are forced to spend time with the devil. You become inexplicably evil and reign terror on the world. It's good for you---until put on death penalty by the police. Oh, you are still tall. But in heaven, you are short. :ashamed: :D
____________________________

I wish every really pretty girl in the world under the age of 18 liked me! :aww:

[brody]

Wish granted, all of a sudden you turn 25 years old, and you are seen with an underage girl by the police. You are arrested for rape.



I wish that I had a switchblade stuck in my eyes, and that it kills me.

[D DEBBS]

You'll wind up crossed-eyed and you DON'T die.

__________________________________________

I wish I can relax

[CJman327]

Wish granted. Your mind is worry-free forever---because you overdose on animal tranquilizers. :D
__________________

I wish that I had a trampoline. :D

[Semaj]

You have a trampoline, but you need to insert a quarter to use it.

I wish I had a moon party in outer space.

[rem87062597]

*It's Bart's moon party in outer space, with R2D2 playin the bass*

Okay, C3PO tags along and you get mad at his gayness so you commit suicide

I wish I had more sleep

[CJman327]

Wish granted. You sleep the rest of your life.
__________________________

I wish I could come up with a wish. :D

[brody]

Wish granted, but your wish is that you die.

I wish that during the Super Bowl, something taboo happens, and the FCC goes crazy.

[Semaj]

Wish granted, but the Christian conservatives crap themselves with anger, then in next year's Superbowl, nobody's allowed to have fun anymore.

I wish I was more flexible.

[Jimbo77]

you get stuck with your head on your back


I wish I was in heaven

[Gatorgod]

you end up in Disco Heaven :boggled:

I wish for fair weather and gentle rains for my crops.

[D DEBBS]

Can you say...Katrina?
___________________

I wish I had the $ for a flat screen TV

[Gatorgod]

i wish I had the $ for a flat screen TV
~*ShaZaam*~ a Ton of $ falls from the sky, Squishing you Flat, and it was seen onTV all over the world.

I wish people would stop running from me

[Jimbo77]

Wish Granted...you feel lonely




I wish for world peace

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted...you feel lonely
I feel Lonely cause they DO run from me :uhh:

Gives you a Piece of the World.

I wish i had a Goundhog filled with Jolt Cola! :yummy:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/gatorgod/68ce26e2.gif

[D DEBBS]

PETA kicks your sorry ass 'cuz you've hurt a poor, defenseless animal!

I wish animals would hunt, kill and eat PETA!

[CJman327]

They're filled with poison, so when the animals at them, they all feel sick and before they die, they must throw up. So, every day, about 5,000 animals throw up----ON YOU! :D
______________________

I wish I had a million dollars. :D

[Jimbo77]

I wish animals would hunt, kill and eat PETA!

They do kill the animals they have caught them with animal dead bodies.
____________________________________________________________ _______


You have to spend it all on taxes


I wish I owned the world

[D DEBBS]

But the IRS owns you and you have to pay taxe$.
__________________________________________

I wish I had more library internet time-I have 7 minutes left!

[24601]

Granted you would have unlimited time- but had to camp out at the computer terminal, without shaving, clipping or cutting any of your hair until someone else wanted a turn. The library would be declared a condemned area and no one would be allowed in.

____________________________
I wish I could be Simon's true love ^_^

[D DEBBS]

^
Wish granted, but Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson are insanely jealous of the 'man-love' Simon is now giving you.

I wish I can come up with some creative and funny wishes for this message board.

[Jimbo77]

Granted but you annoy everyone and they ignore u

I wish I wrote for the simpsons

[24601]

^ Granted you turn it into a OL-fantasy-fufillment yaoifest, with Comic Book Guy as the very assertive seme ^_^ (( Look it up, people. Not in the dictionary. ))

__________
I wish I didn't look like a tub of lard in my workout gear.

[garret]

wish granted you don't look like a tub of lard anymore in your workout gear but you look and act like(gasp)paris hilton
____________________________________________________________ ___________
I wish I wish I was a giant radioactive iguana/hampster hybrid

[D DEBBS]

Godzilla challenges you to a fight to the death...and you die.
___________________________________________________

I wish I didn't get 3 hours of sleep last night (has to take my dad to the hospital-he's fine)

[garret]

wish granted you slept perfectly, but you died in your sleep

[CJman327]

I wish that I could come up with an interesting post on the NHC that doesn't end up getting closed.

[24601]

Wish granted- yet it happens to be a play-by-play of the Homer + Marge 'Paris Hilton'-type video. You get raised to the rank of a god among men, but all the women want to kill you and won't get within 100 feet of you for the rest of your life.

I wish that zombies would bite the heads off of all my enemies, as part of my massive world-domination campaign!

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted,.... But Zombies go on strike for better Breath Mints :-)...

I Wish the next wish granter would get down and Boogie! :laugh:

[D DEBBS]

^
Wish granted, but youngsters will think you're lost in the 1970's and consider you "uncool."

I wish my hands weren't so cold from my anxiety symptoms.

[garret]

wish granted no more cold hands your severly burned

I wish I could eat do do eggs with mr.burns

[Jimbo77]

Wish Granted, you get sued from scientist and you can't afford a lawyer and Mr.Burns doesnt help you


I wish dead

[garret]

wish granted your dead but are a souless zombie who roams the earth sffering

I wish I was the one who shot mr.burns

[brody]

Wish granted, you are arrested for attempted murder.

I wish that NHC wouldn't censor the word **** on Valentine's Day

[Semaj]

As soon as they do, they're sent back to Bizarro World where they came from...

...seriously.

I wish Princiapl Skinner and Edna Krabappel would get married.

[garret]

wish granted they are married but both miserable.

I wish flanders was a deviled egg.

[D DEBBS]

^
Wish granted, but the Flanders deviled egg gets you a helluva stomach ache.
____________________________________________________________ _____

I wish I didn't have to go see a psychiarist for anxiety problems.

[Lizard Queen]

wish granted, you instead seek Dr. Phil and are humiliated on TV

edit : oops! oh yeah - i wish that my master card credit increase request goes through today; i got some shopping to do.

[garret]

wish granted you buy what you want/need and it ends up sending you through an interdimensional portal to hell

I wish I wish I was a giant mutated fish

[D DEBBS]

^
You get caught by Bart ,Marge serves you for dinner and Mr. Burns eats you and spits you out.
_______

I wish for a flat screen TV

[garret]

wish granted it's evil and controls your mind

I wish you (person who grants this wish) would die before they grant my wish

[brody]

Wish granted, but I have a psychotic clone who grants your wish instead, and he is unkillable.

I wish that I could juggle refrigarators.

[Sniper Squirrel]

The doors open and your head is crushed by a frozen ham

I wish for a 3 way with anna kournikova and eva mendes

[D DEBBS]

They take one look at your naked body, laugh and leave.
________________________________________________

I wish I can think of a wish for this message board.

[garret]

wish granted you thought of a wish but it is bad and actually comes true.

I wish they would actually show some season 9 episodes of the simpsons in syndication

[brody]

Wish granted, but you miss every episode.

I wish that I win a nano in the Apple billion song countdown.

[garret]

wish granted it breaks or somthing....

i wish for a swift and painless death

[buh]

you see your own sense of humour written down on paper, and you die.

i wish for wiggle_puppy to stop posting.

[Sniper Squirrel]

wish granted, but he start e-mailing and calling you 24-7

I wish to make an extremely popular TV show and make millions

[bluemoose]

Granted, but it turns out that you ripped off someone else to make your show, and you have to give him all your money, and when it turns out that you don't have enough money to pay him all that you owe him, all your stuff gets reposessed, and you become homeless. Then your show gets cancelled, because you don't have enough money to pay royalties to the guy you ripped off, and because the TV executives don't want anything to do with a bum.


My Wish: I wish I was the guy you ripped off, and I get all of your money and stuff.

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted, but you get more Stuff, than Money.

I Wish the next Poster would do a Bender impersonation

[Sniper Squirrel]

Wish granted "Bite my Shiny Metal Ass," unfortunately your ass is quickly bitten by gators

I Wish I could become president

[brody]

Wish granted, your administration is corrupt and you are impeached.

I wish that I could discover Atlantis.

[Jimbo77]

granted you get a curse and die before u can tell anyone


I wish I could teleport

[Sniper Squirrel]

Granted, but your molecules get screwed up and your arms and legs swich position, as do your eyes and genitals

I wish I could make women want to sleep with me whenever I want them to

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted, But they also bring with them their pad locked Chasity belts :-/

I wish the next Poster would give up smoking for ONE day

[Sniper Squirrel]

Wish granted, but now I'm hooked on heroin

I wish I was friends with Matt Groening

[Gatorgod]

Wish Granted, but he takes advantage of your good nature and dupes you into robbing Banks for him. :sigh:

I wish I was older!

[Semaj]

You die the next day upon reaching the ripe old age of 100.

I wish I didn't have eczema.

[Sniper Squirrel]

Granted, but now you have you herpes

I wish I had x-ray vision

[Semaj]

Your x-ray vision gives women strokes, and turns the black women into racist stereotypes.

I wish I could find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

[vinceq]

The pot of gold is actually the brand of chocolates named "Pot Of Gold" and the chocolates are well... Boxed chocolates are never fresh and this brand is rather rancid to begin with. So some sort of nasty bowel condition would surely follow. Oh, lets say... anal leakage... yeah, that's something you don't want.

My wish... bring back the extinct dodo bird.

[remember alf?]

wish granted ...but one makes a nest in the tree outside your house ...and one day as you are walking out the door it swoops down and gouges out your eyes ..then flies up to the tree as you lie there bleeding to death from your eye holes
the only sound you can hear besides your screams of pain is the sound of the bird regurgitating your eyeballs to feed her young!!


i wish i had a super power (any one would do)

[Jimbo77]

Wish Granted, but since a goverment cover-up gets out aliens start coming and they go for the most dangrous person first...you!

I wish was a millionare

[D DEBBS]

I.R.$.
_____

I wish I wouldn't worry about my father so much.

[Gatorgod]

Granted, You become a Callous, thoughtless, Self centered Jerk. :snooty: making all kinds of new friends! :aww: .....The Wrong Kind! :sorry:

I Wish the the next poster would order a Pizza with Everything on it!

[Jimbo77]

Granted but I eat it as soon as I see it and you dont get any :P


I wish aliens invaded and were peaceful

[D DEBBS]

^
But what if THEY attacked you WITH a board with a nail on it????
________________________________________________________

I wish my cat wouldn't wake me up so early so he can go outside.

[vinceq]

You're cat makes it (real quiet like) on you while you sleep, and you don't wake up during the act to stop it. So when you finally do wake up, you're covered in cat droppings.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I wish I could go to the Calgary Stampede.

[D DEBBS]

^
You get stampeded by a mob of angry Calgarians.
_________________________________________

I wish I didn't have to go to the bathroom!

[Jimbo77]

Granted you spontanously combust!

_____________________________________
I wish to be an actor

[sidd]

Granted but you get involved in a hollywood romance with Courtney Love
_____________________________________
I wish for a time machine

[Gatorgod]

Granted, You use it to go back and edit down your previous post to normal size :S

I Wish for Unlimited call time with no roaming charges!

[D DEBBS]

^
People you call start calling you in ALL hours of the night!

I wish my internet computer time at the library doesn't end at 8:45 P.M. (I have five minutes left)

[vinceq]

^ The library lets you stay there all night. But the library is haunted. Long story short, you're attacked by a poltergeist flinging large hardcovers and one globe at your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish, I wish I had squished that fish.

[D DEBBS]

The fish turns out to be a stonefish that envenomates you and you die.
____________________________________________________________

I wish it would rain on Oscar night so all the coiffed up actresses can get drenched!

[Semaj]

There's 15 "wardrobe malfunctions", then the FCC tightens the dress code for next year's Oscar ceremonies.

I wish cheese didn't taste so bad.

[vinceq]

/\ The cheese tastes fine but gives a real nasty aftertaste. An aftertaste so bad and so long lasting you bite your own tongue off just to end the lousy aftertaste.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I wish a had one of those t-shirts with a picture of a tuxedo on it. Shway!

[D DEBBS]

^
I used to have a tuxedo t-shirt, but I'm not sure if I still have it-I might have given it to the Salvation Army (sorry).

I wish I were in Dixie, hoo-ray, hoo-ray!

[Gatorgod]

Granted, but later,... Dixie files date rape charges against you.

I wish I could post direct links from images in other peoples websites without suffering any adverse consequence's!

[D DEBBS]

^
You'd get bored and wish your computer zaps you and you get trapped in a 'Tron'-like universe.
________

I wish I was in the land of cotton...

[Jimbo77]

It ends up cotton land is across the world and by the time you get there they are all made into shirts!
____________________________________________________________ _______________
I wish i was matt groening

[D DEBBS]

You have to pay high taxes come April 16th, not to mention pay for your sons' college
tuition money once they go to college (I think they're junior high school age now) and also pay alimony (he and Deborah Caplan are divorced).
_______________________________________________

I wish I didn't have to go see the doctor.

[garret]

wish granted, long story short it was your toe.

I wish I had a better computer

[vinceq]

You spend all day in front of your computer, admiring it, loving it. Not like that, you know what I mean. Then you finally go to sleep. The next morning you wake up, have cup of coffee, a bagel with some cream cheese and a bit of cereal. The really good kind with lots of those fake cereal marshmellows. You take a quick shower, get dressed and prepare to have another day of admiring your new computer. But wait, its a day old now, therefore its OBSOLETE! Ha ha sucker!

-

I wish for more wishes.

[D DEBBS]

The genie who grants who wishes decides you're greedy and demands you pay him for wish-making...or he goes on strike.
----------------------------------

I wish I would get a break from making dinner for my family.

[ATHF13]

oyu get your wish but it puts u on a dessserted island and u dont have any dinner...


i wish i had a girlfriend.

[garret]

you get a girlfriend, and shes perfect and meets all your standards. But soon you get annoyed at how perfect she is for you and dump her, in retaliation to you dumping her she spreads rumors that you're gay, resulting in you never having another girlfriend again
____________________________________________________________ ____________

I wish I had a funny hat

[D DEBBS]

^
People will mistake you for me!
___________________________

I wish my cat, Tyrant, wouldn't wake me up so early in the morning!

[garret]

it doesn't wake you up, but that's because it moved to Norway to yodel, and isn't coming back.

I wish my avatar could grant wishes

[vinceq]

Someone takes your avatar and wishes for something bad to happen to you. Something involving irritable bowel syndrome.

_

I wish I didn't have IBS.

[D DEBBS]

If you didn't have IBS, plumbers would be out of a job, so be happy that there's someone who employed because of you! :)
____________________________________

I wish my house would clean itself.

[vinceq]

Your decides that you are a big piece of dirt and removes you, permanently.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I wish I had one of these self cleaning toilets. http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,1558,1820013,00.asp

[ATHF13]

your toilet would clean itself but it got so paranoid it wouldnt let you go into the bathroom for fear of dirtyness

[Gatorgod]

I wish that the previous poster had made a Wish for me to Trash :/

[Sniper Squirrel]

wish granted, but then he kills you for trashing his wish

I wish I could write and a direct an oscar winning film

[garret]

wish granted, but you get so full of yourself that your alianated by your family and friends.

I wish I had a swimming pool full of jellow.

[Sniper Squirrel]

granted, but it's aflavor you didn't know you were allergic to

I wish I could bang any celebrity I wanted

[garret]

Wish granted, but in the process you got tricked into sleeping with Michael Jackson.

I wish I could have all my dreams come true.

[Semaj]

Your dreams come true, except you don't know what the hell they are.

I wish green and purple would get along with yellow and blue. (I'm outta ideas at the moment. :-/)

[garret]

I don't know... they die.

I wish I could kill paris hilton and not get in trouble for it, but be praised for it and have the world elect me their new leader.

[Sniper Squirrel]

granted, but now you're haunted by Paris' ghost who never shuts the fuck up

I wish I could turn into an incredible Hulk like creature when pissed off

[D DEBBS]

^
You would have to contend with a betty Ross-like character who constantly cries, a Thunderbolt Ross character who's always gung-ho and calls you a milksop, a Glenn Talbot character who puts you down in front of Betty, a Doc Sampson character who analyses you and a Rick Jones character who tags along with you!
________________________________________________________

I wish for...absolutely nothing!

[Sniper Squirrel]

Granted, because you're dead

I wish to be able to do perfect impressions of every simpsons character

[D DEBBS]

^
FOX sues you.
____________

I wish I don't have to go to any more doctor's appointments.

[garret]

Granted, but you die of butt sickness.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

[vinceq]

You get killed by one of those fools who fishes with sticks of dynamite.

-----------------------------------------?-----------

I wish I had gone for lunch. Dammit, I'm friggin' hungry.

[D DEBBS]

^
Your stomach goes on strike for not feeding it and you get a heckuva tummy ache.
____________________________________________________________ __________

I'm wishing....for the one I love...to find me....(and I don't know the rest of the 'Snow White' song)

[Sniper Squirrel]

granted, but she's a succubus, so you're dead

I wish I could make huge amounts of cash appear whenever I pleased

[garret]

wish granted, but it's counterfeit so you go to jail.

I wish I could kill YOU

[D DEBBS]

^
But you'll hafta take care of Tyrant...and he's demanding!
_________________________________________________

I wish my house would clean itself.

[Sniper Squirrel]

granted, but it kills you for making it messy

I wish I could talk to ghosts of celebrities

[D DEBBS]

^
But they would haunt you at all hours of the day and you would get nothing done plus you won't get any sleep.
______________________

I wish Chadwick's of Boston would send me my new brown suede boots before it starts to rain in California on Friday!

[vinceq]

^ it doesn't rain, but all the sewers back up from massive flushing due to a rampant case of IBS (why do I keep referencing that) and the streets are flooded with toilet water.
------------------
I wish I was a ballerina. You know, the really sissy kind of ballerina.