Quote of the Day Thread

[kevin]

This is the thread where you post any Simpsons quotes stuck in your head at the moment. This'll centralize all small quote threads into one, big, easily accessable page. So go for it, post any quotes that are in your head at any given moment during the course of your exciting lives. Here's a quotes that has been in my head all day long:
Homer: "Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

From Homerpalooza:
Lisa: "It smells like Otto's jacket."

[Gunstar]

"Garage!? Ooh, did ya hear that fellas? A garage! Well la-dee-da mista French man!"

"Well what do you call it?"

"A car hole."

[Radioactive Man]

"The room is slightly askew!"

and since i saw the shinning a few days ago.

"trab qu kcip. trab qu kcip"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"That's where I saw the leprochaun."

"Rriightt, the leprochaun."

"He told me to burn things!"

[penny]

"Marge, we need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!"

[pat]

Krusty: "What the hell was that??!!!" (after watching the cartoon Worker & Parasite)

[kevin]

Homer: "Wait, Bart's teacher is named Krabappel? All this time I've been calling her Crandall! Oh, I've been making an idiot out of myself!"

[bartman burns]

the Yes Guy:"Uhyeeeeeesssssssssss!"
Homer:"Why do you talk like that?"
the Yes Guy:"I had a strooooooooooooooooke!"

[H Thompson]

Homer: I'm so depressed my last hope is this home made Prozac * sips some from spoon* needs more Ice cream

[kevin]

Originally posted by bartman burns
the Yes Guy:"Uhyeeeeeesssssssssss!"
Homer:"Why do you talk like that?"
the Yes Guy:"I had a strooooooooooooooooke!"

:-O

[kane]

the most annoying quote. possible pass as it is just quote of the day and not "funniest" or "best" quote of the day.

Homer: "Oooooo they have the internet on computers now"

[lolpenis_taco]

Homer: 10-4 princess. Is that the keg?

[The Brain]

From Lisa the Vegetarian, while watching the 3 little pigs:
Bart: "This is crappy crappy crap"
Homer: "Quiet boy, I've got a feeling some bad stuff is about to go down"

[Gunstar]

Flanders: "Hey Simpson, I'm feeling a tad pekish. Mind if I chew your ear!?"

*CH-CHICK*

*BOOM*

*THUD*

Bart: "Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!"

Homer:"...he was a zombie?"

[Radioactive Man]

"Hey Homie, I can see your doodle!"

"Shut up Flanders"

[chiefdan]

"Ah, Mancini...a mascot's best friend."

[Steve Allen]

"Wait a minute, these look like teeth marks."
"I thought it had chocolate inside."

[SimpsonByte]

"Do you hold a grudge against Montegovary Burns?"
"No*BUZZ*All right, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him*DING*"
"Checks out. OK sir, you're free to go"
"Good, cos I've gotta hot date tonight*BUZZ*A date*BUZZ*Dinner with friends*BUZZ*Dinner alone*BUZZ*Watching TV alone*BUZZ*ALL RIGHT! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the "Victoria Secret" Catalogue*BUZZ*.....sigh...Sears Catalog*DING*Now would you unhook this already please??!!?? I just don't deserve this kinda shabby treatment*BUZZ*!"

Theres another one too, if you check out my signature.

[kevin]

"...And that's the story of ther first caramel cod, I mean Halloween."

[y2dave2004]

"Badgar my ass it's probably Milhouse"

[Lenny 11]

"I'm not dead yeeeeeet!"

[kevin]

"I'm cold and there are wolves after me"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"No, no one's going Catholic, three kids is enough,"

[penny]

"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike... you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

[Stackhouse]

'english? who needs that? i'm never going to england.'

[The Brain]

Chalmers: "Skinner! You're fired"
Skinner: "I'm sorry, did you just call me a Liar?"
Chalmers: "No, I said you're fired"
Skinner: "Oh, oh that's much worse"

[Steve Allen]

"Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Kill the horrid beasts...and do away with their lizards."

[kevin]

"We the purple? What the hell was that?"

[Gunstar]

Lenny: "Hey Homer, cut it out! Come on, quit eatin' me!"

*BANG*

Lenny: "OWWW! Nice shot Carl! MMMPH!!"

[chiefdan]

Lisa: I mean, if you're the police, then who will police the police?
Homer: I dunno. Coast Guard?

[ehren]

Originally posted by Robbie Whisman
Homer: 10-4 princess. Is that the keg?

*SLAP!!*
Hookstratton: Monkeys point.
Homer: (sniffling) Monkeys cry.

Other great ones:

Bart: Why do we need church shoes? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.

Brockman: This just in.. GO TO HELL!

[Gunstar]

"You wrecked Hitlers' car! What did he ever do to you!?"

[chiefdan]

Grampa: "Stop. It's a form of abuse."

[Cap'n Crunch]

Lenny annnd.. Carl
ah crap, I mean uh...
ah crap

[The Foot]

It seems like the cat was caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.

[NukeTheWhales]

"Must kill Moe.......wheeeeeeeee.............Must kill Moe......wheeeeeeeeee"

[Dr Zaius]

Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel... that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Mr. Burns: "When I was 6, my father took me on a picnic. Ooh, that was a gay old time. Ate my share of weiners that day."

[kevin]

"Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974! It's a scientific fact!"

[Gunstar]

Flanders:"Now I may go mad with fear out there Todd...so I want you to shoot daddy if he tries to get back in."

(Hands Todd a shotgun shell)

Todd:*SNIFF* "Okay dad."

(Loads the shotgun)

[Radioactive Man]

In my head for some reason

"Urge to kill rising"

"Copyright expired"

"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!!!"
"Cool, I broke his brain"

[kevin]

"Do not attempt sexual relations as years of TV watching have left your genitals withered, and useless."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Oh God, this is tasty! I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this!"

[Gunstar]

"Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you gotta butt that wont quit.
Ya see they got these chewy pretzels here and bwwaggaherrgrgeggggs...five dollars!? Get outta here..."

Bart: "Wow. That's a side of dad I've never seen before."

[NukeTheWhales]

Homer: Where's Mr.Smithers?
Burns: He's doing eighty years on an opium bust. I've never seen a man take so quickly to a Turkish prison.

[Gunstar]

Moe: "They're headed for the old mill!"

Homer: "No we're not!"

Moe: "Well, let's go to the old mill anyway! Get some cidah!"

Crowd: "Yeah, let's get some cider!"

[kevin]

"Carnies built this country, the carnival part anyway. And although they may be rat-like in appearence, they are truly kings among men."

[Gunstar]

Plastic Surgeon: "Now Krusty, do not be alarmed by the complete stranger staring back at you."

(Hands Krusty a mirror)

Krusty: "YAAAH!!"

*SMASH*

Krusty: "I look exactly the same you idiot!"

Plastic Surgeon: "Nonsense, you look at least 10 years younger. And let's not forget about the breasts."

Krusty: "Does anyone hear me complaining about the breasts?"

[NukeTheWhales]

Bart: "George Burns was right, show business is a hideous bitch goddess"

[kevin]

"Do yourself a favor, and don't turn around."

[Gunstar]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"....told you not to turn around."

[ehren]

"If horseracing is the sport of kings, then bowling is... a very good sport as well."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Bad influence my ass!"

[Gunstar]

Homer: "Ooh! Look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man, from Fairy Land who lives in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane!"

*SLAM*

(opens the door again)

Homer: "Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

*SLAM*

Marge: "Well, duh."

[kevin]

"marge, can we switch? I don't trust these guys"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Todd in Bart the Lover:

"Hell no. I said I don't want any damn vegetables."

[The Brain]

Flanders: "The way these cheques keep coming in, it's criminal"
Homer: "You dirty bast-" (scene cut)

[NukeTheWhales]

"Ah the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of the History Channel"

[kevin]

"After you inlist, you only have to work one weekend a month, and most of that time you're drunk off your ass."

[OldCootAbe]

Bart: "They have awards for teaching?"

Marge: "Why not? They have Latin Grammys."

[Gunstar]

Homer: "Come on Lenny, I only need one more person to go on the bus to the Super Bowl."

Lenny: "Mehh."

Homer: "Come on."

Lenny: "Mehh."

Homer: "Come on!"

Lenny: "Mehh."

Homer: "Oh, come on!"

Lenny: "Ohh..."

Homer: (hangs up the phone) "Yes! Lenny's in!"

[Mira]

Moe- Is Craphole one word?
Professor- Yes if it's hyphenated
Moe- Then I'll stick with CrapHole

[rossjman1]

HOMER: "I don't apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."

[TickTockMan]

"Push her down son."

[The Brain]

Lisa: "By your logic, I could claim that this rock keeps Tigers away"
Homer: "Well how does it work?"
Lisa: "It doesn't work"
Homer: "Uh-huh"
Lisa: "Its just a stupid rock"
Homer: "Uh-huh"
Lisa: "But I don't see any Tigers around here, do you?"
Homer: ".... Lisa I want to buy your rock!"

[NukeTheWhales]

Homer: "Change the channel, I'm sick of this Tarzan movie."
Lisa: "Dad, that's a documentary on the homeless."

[The Foot]

Homer: Bart, these bills are coming out of your allowance!
Bart: You'll have to rasie my allowance to $1,000. a week
Homer: Then that's what I'll doooo, smart guy.

[kevin]

"Bart, you can't weld with such a little flame! Stupid kid."

[Gunstar]

"Damn boxes!"

[The Brain]

Bart: "We were just planning the father/son river rafting trip"
Homer: "Hehe, you don't have a son"

[Dr Zaius]

"My son's a box!"

[NukeTheWhales]

"If I wanted smoke blown up my ass I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose."

[elprice9]

Homer: Wow, my boss.
Hank: Don't call me that word. I don't like things that elevate me
about the other people. I'm just like you. Oh, sure, I come later
in the day, I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations,
but I don't like the word "boss".

[elprice9]

Hank: Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your
closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do
I! [throws them out] Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say
good-bye to a shoe?
Homer: [chuckles] Yes, once.

Homer: Yes, sir. I will notice that. Very casual, Mr. Scorpion.
Hank: Don't call me Mr. Scorpion. It's Mr. Scorpio but don't call me that either.

[elprice9]

Hank: The key to motivation is trust. Let me show you what I mean. I
want you to close your eyes and fall backwards, and I'll catch
you. That's gonna show you what trust is all about. Ready?
Homer: Right.
Hank: Three... Two... [phone rings] One second...
[Hank answers the phone and Homer falls to the ground]
Oh, my God, the guy's on the floor.
Uh, that was a phone call; don't chalk that up to mistrust, now.

[independent roc]

Burns: You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post haste.

[kane]

Something along the lines of:
Homer: That impressed me, and I'm not easily impressed.......WOW! A BLUE CAR!

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"You smarmy little bastards!"

[kevin]

"It's like kissing a peanut!"

[Mira]

"Up Yours, Children!"

[OldCootAbe]

Bart: "Where's the hose?"
Homer: "Bringing up the rear."
Bart: "Are you as excited as I am?"
Homer: "Ooooh Yeah!"

[NeverEverAfter]

"O I am so angry I could just fall asleep, I-- *snores*"
--Apu.

--Janjan.

[Larson Something]

"They're DOGS...and they're PLAYING POKER! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

[kane]

Homer: When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

[Gunstar]

Apu: "I can't believe you don't shut up!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I hate you Walt Freakin Whitman! Leaves of Grass my ass!"

[Leopold]

"Don't you hate pants?"

[Gunstar]

Moe: "Homer! Thank god you're here. Ya gotta help me!!"

Homer: "Oh I'll help you - HELP YOU DIE!!"

[kevin]

"That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff! Here puff!"

[NukeTheWhales]

"Oh don't worry, Marge. Her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation, humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing."

[kevin]

"Is it a walking clock?"

"More testicles mean more iron."

[Mira]

"Discus Stu was talking to you"

[The Brain]

Drunken Apu: "Everybody... everybody get naked... come on don't be stuck up it's going to be great"

[Gunstar]

Kirk: "Well why not? This party's just getting started!!!"

*rips off his shirt*

[kevin]

"And there you have it, woo"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening."

[NukeTheWhales]

"Wow, Edison was just like me."

"You mean the wild mood swings?"

[independent roc]

Tis a fine barn, but tis no pool, English.

[The Brain]

Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me"
Mail guy: "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "... I don't know"

[kevin]

"And then we roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Marge, are we Jewish?"

[Leopold]

"I'll see you in hell!
...from heaven."

[Sideshow Joe]

"If elected Mayor, my first act would be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders."
-Groundskeeper Willie

Other GREAT Quotes:

"See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya. Otherwise, I got no case, and you'll go scot-free."
-Chief Wiggum

"I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it."
-Skinner

[independent roc]

Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh.

[Gunstar]

Troy McClure: "My good looks paid for that pool and my talent filled it with water!"

[independent roc]

"Holy smokes! You need booze."

[Leopold]

"Lousy Smarch weather!"

[kevin]

"Out of my way, I'm Hitler!"

[Gunstar]

"What in the name of high school football!?"

[The Brain]

Direct from my sig:
Sideshow Bob: "Just the thought of all that raw, surging power
makes me wonder why the hell I should care!"

[Gunstar]

"Simpson, go kiss the virtual ass."

[kane]

"Six Simple Words: I'm not gay, but i'll learn"

[SimpsonByte]

Use a pen, Sideshow Bob

Or, from Rosebud

Guards;(marching) All we own, we o-own, All we own, we o-own!
Smithers;Shussh
Guards;(whispering+tip-toeing) All we own, we o-own, All we own, we o-own.

[Pie Pants]

I guess this kinda counts

Marge: "Homer, you gonna kill us all!"

Homer: "Or die trying!"

[Mira]

Originally posted by SimpsonByte
Use a pen, Sideshow Bob

:LOL: Great quote.

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Kennedy: "Ich bin ein berliner."
Grampa: "He's a nazi!"

[OldCootAbe]

Bart: "All that's left for me is to become the biggest drunk this town has ever seen!"

Homer: (drinking a Duff) "Well talkin about it won't make it happen."

[The Brain]

Banner: "Are you the Beer Baron?"
CBG: "Yes but only by night, by day I'm a mild mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper"

[kevin]

"Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell!"

[NukeTheWhales]

"I know...this lesbian bar has no fire exits."

[OldCootAbe]

This one should get quote of the month:

"Well, I don't want to go home, my Grandma is sleeping in my bed, and she has skin like a basketball." - Milhouse Van Houten

I laughed for two minutes at that tonight. Don't know the name of the ep it's in, it's the Tango De La Muerte episode where Lisa tries to become a dancer and Bart and Milhouse live at the Springfield Mall.

[Pie Pants]

I use this everywhere and it is from the genius mind of homer.

"Not my fault, act of God, act of God!"

[OldCootAbe]

"Yeehaw... cut er down, boys!" (Proceeds to do a jig) - The rich Texan

[The Foot]

Your guilty conscious may force you to vote democratic, but deep down you long for a cold hard republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king! That's why I did this, to protect you from yourselves.!

[kevin]

"Dental plan, lisa neeeds braces." times infinity

[Mira]

"I wish mr X were here..."
"I don't know, he might be closer than you think"
"are you him!? are you mr. X?"
"NO!"
"yeah, but you talked in that rea sly voice like you were him... HEY EVERYBODY HOMER'S MR. X"
"No I'm Not!... Or am I?"
"Are you?"
"No!"

[Pie Pants]

"Chaka kon chaka kon let me rock you chaka kon, chaka kon chaka kon, chaka kon!"

[Mira]

Originally posted by Mmm, Pie pants
"Chaka kon chaka kon let me rock you chaka kon, shaka kon shaka kon, shaka kon!"

"Save me, Shaka Kon Shaka Kon!" :)

[Larson Something]

"Why, this is one of those nude female fire stations."

[Gunstar]

Flanders: "Quick, Todd! Get daddy the alcohol-free alcohol!"

[SideshowTim]

"It was him, Let's get him fellas!" -- Guy who sonds weird in Last Exit.

[OldCootAbe]

"Right, and the award for the best thrash metal goes to... Simpsons Christams Boogie?" - Ozzy Osbourne (well not really)

[independent roc]

It's like a frickin' country bear jambaroo around here!

[The Brain]

Al Gore Doll: "You are hearing me talk"

[Brentyn]

OldCootAbe--
That would be Last Tap Dance in Springfield. :)

"I am the Lizard Queen!...Can't talk, coming down." - Lisa. An oldie but a goodie. :D

[The Foot]

Originally posted by McStinkalot
"Dental plan, lisa neeeds braces." times infinity

I hope that quote hasn't been stuck in your head all day. It got very annoying after the third or fourth time.

Sometimes I think you want to fail!
and

Homer: Twenty dollars! Ooohh, I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

[Mira]

"The burning is love!"

[kevin]

"And this pickle you speak of only sweetens the deal...)

[Pie Pants]

"I'm gonan put you to work on Bart and Maggie, go SuperDad on all their asses!"

[Gunstar]

"Go banana!"

(hope that wasn't said already...)

[kevin]

"I'm seein' double! Four Krusties!

[Mira]

"I'll do it... I'll rob the Kwik E Mart!"

...

DOH!

[Pie Pants]

"Kids, you know your dads had a mental brakedown"

"My pockets hurt"

[Gunstar]

Bart(to George Bush): "Hey, where'd you get those pyjamas?

Bush: "They're presidential pyjamas. You have to be President, and you're not President!"

Bart: "Yes I am."

Bush: "No you're not! Bar!!"

[kane]

"Happy Birthday"

[Leopold]

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

[kevin]

"Clown college? You can't eat that"

[Pie Pants]

"No way, I won't even eat vegetables over two inches long."

[SideshowTim]

"No way man, No way, No way am I wearin' a freakin' wire man, Get yourself another patsy man!"

[The Brain]

"And what are you charging for this free weekend?"

[Gunstar]

Hare Krishina guy: "Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness?"

Homer: "This, Bart, is a crazy man!"

Christian guy: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"

Homer: "Pssh, yeah right."

Movementarian: "A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia."

Homer: "Hmmm, makes sense."

[Dances In Underwear]

Homer - "If you're good, Pizza. If you're bad... poison"
Lisa - "What if one of us is good and one of us is bad"
Bart - "Poison Pizza"
Homer - "Oh, no, I'm not making 2 stops!"

Hi-larious.

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Look at them all, through the darkness I'm bringing, they're not sad at all, they're actually singing! They sing without juicers, they sing without blenders..they sing without flunjers, capdabblers and smendlers!"

[Gunstar]

"So whaddya think Marge? All it needs is a title. I was thinking along the lines of no t.v. and no beer makes Homer...something, something."

[kevin]

"Iron helps us play!"

[Dr Zaius]

*spit*
"Not smart"

(I don't know who that was but that part has been stuck in my head all day long)

[Leopold]

Jay Sherman - "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. And you must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
Homer - "It was a gummy bear".

[The Brain]

Sherpa 1: "Brad and Neil were quite insistant that you not die"
Sherpa 2: "Frankly we don't care"

[Larson Something]

Originally posted by Dr Zaius
*spit*
"Not smart"

(I don't know who that was but that part has been stuck in my head all day long)

That was Neil Patrick Harris in the title role in the TV-movie "Blood On The Blackboard - The Bart Simpson Story" from Bart The Murderer

[The Brain]

And Neil Patrick Harris was the guy who played Doogie Howser.

"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"No"
"Yes!, I mean no, no"

[Mira]

"Plutonium? Isn't that Kinda risky? You're right, it's not"
----------
"Hey Look I found some pearls, Oh Wait those are just my teeth... Oh well at least I can still make a necklace out of them.

Lenny is great

[kevin]

"Can't sleep, clown'll eat me"

[Sideshow Joe]

"I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am."
-Homer
_______________________________________________

My Top 5 Episodes
-The Way We Was
-Flaming Moe's
-Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
-Marge vs. The Monorail
-Realty Bites

http://springfieldparadise3.free.fr/resume/eabf12/071.jpg

[The Brain]

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I doing my rounds and, I'm a little behind"

[kevin]

"Eh, Sherbert Hoover."

[Mira]

"..but Crime doesn't take a vacation"
"Careful! You'll pop it!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Your wife will go as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room!"

[The Brain]

"Hi Super-nintendo Chalmers"

[kevin]

"Principal Skinner, i got carsick in your office."

[kane]

while on him:

"It tastes like burning"

[Larson Something]

Continuing the Ralph theme:

"Oh, boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

[Gunstar]

"I bent my wookiee..."

(someone had to say it sooner or later)

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar."

[The Brain]

Well I'm going to break the chain.

Homer: "Everytime I learn something new it pushes something else out. Remember that time I took a Wine Making Course and forgot how to drive?"
Marge: "That's because you were drunk!"

[SideshowTim]

"Pick a bar? What the hell is pick a bar?"

[SimpsonByte]

Here are your messages. You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

[Larson Something]

LENNY: There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people.

CARL: I don't know. Vengeance is pretty good.

[Gunstar]

"He's dead now!"

[kevin]

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad woth your palm, now."

[Mira]

Now what made you think a big rubber ball would stop anyone?

....


Shut Up! That's Why!

[kevin]

"This is where I come to cry"

[kane]

"Go Banana!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Otto, that's one palindrome you won't be hearing for a while."

[Gunstar]

Landlord: "All I found in there was a couple of old Psycho magazines and a jar of mustard."

Otto: "Wow...I had mustard??"

[The Brain]

Apu: "I can't believe you don't shut up"

[Sugartwinz]

"And that pickle you speak of only sweetens the deal"
Homer Simpson

[Pie Pants]

"I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you ever.....Oh wait, i'm number 5. Haha in your face number 6!"

[Leopold]

"Oh my God, someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispie square!

...oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Trying to double your fun, eh Bart? Well, I'll double your detention."

[kevin]

"I wish someone was around to hear that"

[Pie Pants]

"Telivision broken?"

"No theres a badger in there"

"Badger my ass, it's probably just Milhouse"

[SideshowTim]

"Damn you Walt freakin Whitman!"

[Gunstar]

Drunken Homer: "I've been meaning to tell you off for years, but I never had the nerve."

Some Guy: "Uh, Homer we just met, your wife and my wife are friends."

Drunken Homer: "You stink!! You and your whole lousy operation stinks!! I quit!!"

Some Guy: "P-please don't quit."

Drunken Homer: "Alright then..."

[The Brain]

Apu: "Oh I am not here to buy. I simply want to leaf through your magazines, rearrange you carefully shelved items and leave your bathroom in an unsanitary manner. Ha! now you now it feels!"
Homer: "Thank you, come again"

[Dr Zaius]

Originally posted by Gunstar Hero
Drunken Homer: "I've been meaning to tell you off for years, but I never had the nerve."

Some Guy: "Uh, Homer we just met, your wife and my wife are friends."

Drunken Homer: "You stink!! You and your whole lousy operation stinks!! I quit!!"

Some Guy: "P-please don't quit."

Drunken Homer: "Alright then..."

Which episode is that?

[The Brain]

The War Of The Simpsons.

[SimpsonByte]

OK, I'm no longer able to point at my sig (no laws, but I just can't help it)

Homer;Flanders! Thats suits a little revealing, isn't it?
Flanders;Well, it allows for maximum mobility. Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all (wiggles butt)
Homer;Quit it! Must wash eyes! (starts skiing down slope backwards)Uhoh (turns round) OK, don't panic. Remember what the Instructor said (thought bubble of instructor)
Instructor;If you ever get into trouble, all you've gotta do is...
(image of Flanders wigging his butt)
Flanders;Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. (bubble bursts)
Homer;STUPID SEXY FLANDERS!!!

[kevin]

"Homer no function beer well without."

[The Brain]

Cult Member: "Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?"
Homer: "What kind of beer?"

[Pie Pants]

"One, two, better not sue!"

[The Brain]

"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt"

[Mira]

I got the joy joy joy down in my heart, WHERE? Down in my Heart today! and if the devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack, OUCH!

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Why does Dangerdog mean more to me than school or church?"
-"Because those things suck."

[Larson Something]

LOUIE (or Legs, I forget which): Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead.

FAT TONY: No, I said he sleeps with the fishes.

[The Brain]

Homer: "Some day decent folk will stand up to you crooked cops"
Wiggum: "Really? oh no! Ha-have they set a date?"

[Larson Something]

BURNS: Oh, and by the way, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.

MARGE: I thought I did.

[KojiChav]

Homer : Clown College?, you can't eat that!

[kevin]

"Maybe he's gonna pee in the river!"

[kane]

"Duffman can never die - only the actors who play him! Oh Yeah!"

[Gunstar]

Abe: "Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!"

Homer: "Lousy traumatic childhood!"

[SideshowTim]

"Excuse me sir, You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife" *punch*

[kevin]

"Were both screw-ups."

[Mira]

And if anyone asks for potato chips or anything fancy, Tell em to go to hell!

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I'm in a club too, where if I eat one more sub sandwich, I get a free sub sandwich. You may have seen its ad with this guy who used to be fat, but no he's just ugly."

[Larson Something]

"Bake him away, toys!"

[Pie Pants]

"whats this lunch box made out of?"

"Back in the day we had something called metal, everything was made out of it, lunch boxes, cars"

"met tal....."

[kane]

NED: Maude and I sell reiligous foot rugs over the internet.
HOMER: Internet, eh?
NED: Yes indeedy, making some goood scratch
HOMER: Scratch, eh?
NED:Yep!
HOMER: Maude eh?

[Gunstar]

"They say he carved it himself...from a bigger spoon."

[Gorky]

"...But Football in the Groin has a football in the groin!"



"Stupid sexy Flanders!"



Jay Sherman: And you must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boyle.

Homer: It was a gummy bear.

[Gunstar]

"Lisa! Her teeth are big and green!

Lisa! She smells like gasoline!

Lisa! Da-da-da-disa!

She is my sistah, her birthday, I missedah!"

Been singing that in my head all day.

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I'll see you in Hell! (Shuts door, opens it back up) From Heaven."

[OldCootAbe]

"And now a man who's a real potheid, oh, I mean, pothead, Homer Simpson."

[Pie Pants]

"I'm not very comfterable having a gang of crows in our room"

"It's a murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder."

[SideshowTim]

'Now go! go! For the good of the city!' -- Comic Book Guy

[kevin]

"Uh, I've wasted my life."

[Pie Pants]

"You hate your father, don't you?"
"Sometimes, but the person I really hate is YOUR father!"

[Gunstar]

"Geez...what's with all the death?"

[Pie Pants]

"kinda brings a tear to your eye socket, don't it?"

[The Brain]

Marge: "Simpsons gene, that's just foolishness"
Grampa: "Nope, baldness too"

[Leopold]

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Hahahahahaha"
-"En France"
-Honhohnhonhonhon!"

[Gunstar]

"Must...crush...Capitalism! Grrr!! Arrrg!!"

[Gorky]

"Welcome to Itchy and Scratchy Land, where nothing can possiblie go wrong. Uh, that's possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong."


"We started out like Romeo in Juliet, but it ended in tragedy."

[OldCootAbe]

HOMER - "Kids how would you like to go to......BLOCKOLAND!?
BART AND LISA - "Meh."
HOMER - "But the TV gave me the impression that..."
LISA - "We said, Meh. M, E, H, Meh."

[Dr Zaius]

"I wish for world peace"
"Lisa, that was very selfish of you!"

[kane]

Homer: "Got your nose"
Baby Bart: "Got your wallet"

[Leopold]

"He's not just some guy, Marge. He's a Carny and part of a noble tradition.
Carnies built this country - well, the carnival part of it anyway - and though
they may be rat-like in appearance, they are truly kings among men."

[kane]

Homer: Carny's took over our house, you've gotta help us!
Wiggum: Well well, look who's here, Mr. No-bribe! Sure, we'll help you, just sit down and wait for detective like I give a damn!
Homer: Thankyou so much!

[Larson Something]

"Ah Hell diddly-ding-dong crap! Can't you people do anything right?"

[kevin]

"He's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I call thee Gamblor!"

[Gorky]

"That's Lenny?! Awww, I wanted the black one!"


"But Marge, it's Nightboat , the crime solving boat!"


"I'll stay here, but I'm going to think about products that I might like to purchase."


Lisa: He's smart, he's funny, he's obviously not embarassed by his physical appearance...

Homer: My ears are burning, Lisa.

Lisa: Umm, I wasn't talking about you, dad.

Homer: No my ears are really burning, I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.

[The Brain]

"God help me, help me god!" *phone rings, homer answers*
"Homer this is God... -frey Jones"

[Pie Pants]

Marge: "Ned! I'm not afriad!"
Ned: "Well looks whos a superdooper recooper"
Marge: "Grandpa! I'm not afriad!"
Grandpa: "Well then your not paying close enough attention"

[Gunstar]

Homer: "What's your problem boy?"

Bart: "I had a fight with Milhouse today..."

Homer: "That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like that."

Lisa: "How zen."

[Pie Pants]

"Bad poster has snoggled and snuggled your neck, I'll stop talking like this if you write me a check"

[Mira]

"All these years you weren't really playing the Saxophone it was just an umbrella"
"What, why didn't anyone tell me"
"We all thought it was funny!"
"that's not funny"

[kevin]

"Nevada makes my butt look big."