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Bob: This is one more emmy than you'll ever win, you bantering jack-in-the-box!
Krusty: Just don't drop that thing in the shower, Bob!..
94K
 
Homer: Oh, Sideshow Bob. 32K
 
Bob: Bart here is the shamus in short pants who sent me to prison. 31K
 
Homer: Gee, if some snot nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing I'd out, I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly button. Uhh! Uhhh!... 119K
 
Bart: Aye Carumba!
Bob: Bart, if I wanted to kill you, I would have choked you like a chicken as soon as I walked in that door. (family gasps) Then what kind of guest would I have been? (laughter)
126K
 
Bob: Dear Selma: Your latest letter sent off a riot in the maximum security wing of my heart.
Selma: Ooooooooh.
97K
 
Bob: Like the lone Crocus that pokes through the prison yard, our love bloomed despite all obsticles.
71K
 
Sideshow Bob and Selma sing a love song duet. FUNNY 200K
 
Bob: Selma. Would you mind if I did something bold and shocking infront of your family?
Selma: Alright, but no tounges.
Bob: Although, kissing you would be like kissing some devine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me?
Bart: Don't be a fool Aunt Selma! That man is scum!
Selma: Then call me Mrs. Scum.
113K 
Bob: Cutter. Ice-pick. Snake, I'm going to miss you most of all. 100K
 
Marge: And what would you like for appetizers?
Homer: Ooooh, appetizers.
Bob: Well, Homer, you seem to be a trenchaman, what should we serve?
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain't ketchup!
211K
 
Selma: That MacGyver's a genius.
Bob: First of all, he's not a genius. He's an actor. And second, he's not much of an actor.
Selma: You're lying! You're lying!
Bob: No, Selma. This is lying. That was a well-plotted piece of nonclaptrap that never made me want to retch.
Selma: No! (crys and runs out of room)
219K
 
Marge: Ooh, there's Krusty the Clown. Krusty, Krusty, say something funny!
Krusty: Oh, gee, a joke. Um... Um... Uh, funny, uh, okay. Uh, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a twelve-inch pianist. Oh hoho, no, wait! I can't tell one!
188K
 
Bob: That's right, dear. Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you. And the honeymoon is going to be... murder... [laughs] 224K
 
Bob: Ah, fire! Scourge of Prometheus! Toaster of marshmallows! Eradicator of deadwood. Oh Selma, dear! You and your little camera. What do you say we shut it off for a while?
Selma: And make love?
Bob: I suppose so.
Marge: Oh, that's sweet.
219K
 
Bob: Well, time for my walk. [quietly] Don't forget to die. 50K
 
Bob: And then I went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like explode you. 61K
 
Bart: Chief Wiggum, think you have room in your jail for a two-time loser?
Wiggum: Well, no, frankly. But that never stopped us before.
69K
 
Bart: Her only hope was a plucky young boy and his slow-witted father. Dad! When Aunt Selma lights up her cigarette at the end of McQyver she'll be blown to kingdom come!
Homer: Come again?
Bart: After trying four times to explain it to Homer, I explained it to Mom and we were on our way.
Homer: To the Simpson-Mobile!
193K
 
Bob: I'll be back. You can't keep them democrats out of the white house forever! And when they get back, I'm back on the streets! With all my criminal buddies!! 150K
 



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